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© APEnvironMENTALists being removed from a road block by police (eventually) after a controlled 'rebellion' in the City of London, April 2019.
A pandemic is sweeping across the globe. It affects people of all societies, regardless of gender, religion, age and number of social media likes. Those of the vegan or vegetarian persuasion tend to be more susceptible to it, but the culprit is an equal-opportunity virus so it also afflicts all who identify as 'progressive' lefties - from soy-fuelled Social Justice Warriors to latté-infused politicians to career journalists.

The disease is called environMENTALism. A person (male/female/gender fluid, or partially solid) who catches this takes on the persona of an environMENTAList.

eco nutters
How to identify an environMENTAList?

Those displaying advanced symptoms often gather in large groups, drink soy-shakes, bang drums out of tune and repeat various illogical mantras, such as "climate change is real", "stop cows farting", "rebel for life" and - occasionally, paradoxically - "don't have children... save the planet for future generations!"

They often wear self-righteous expressions, together with overalls (for serious laying down they call 'die-ins', or glue play) or vibrant ethnic-looking clothes (usually made in Bangladesh, which is a long way away, so the pollution it generates is their problem). Delusional and fanatical, in very severe cases some are compelled to glue their breasts to roads, apparently in the belief that this synchronizes one's heart-beat with Mother Earth.

A Metropolitan Police spokesman said of recent gatherings of environMENTALists in London,
"It went off according to plan. The environMENTALists enjoyed the huge media attention, we got lots of overtime and the politicians got a welcome respite from Brexit. So good value really for £7.5m."
Nearly 1,200 environMENTALists were arrested during 11 days of protests, though most were freed half an hour later after sharing their nut roasts or teaching Met officers some tai chi - several of whom reported back injuries after prolonged periods of standing around during the protests watching the UK capital's traffic grind to a halt.

As environMENTALism is highly contagious, avoid contact wherever possible.

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Health warning!

Do not attempt to engage in rational conversation with an environMENTAList, especially in a group setting. You may end up dazzled by virtue-signalling, deafened by meaningless soundbites, or even have soy milk thrown at you.

And whatever you do, do NOT broach the following topics with them - they contain trigger words and phrases that will hurt their brains and cause them to scream at the sky:
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Juncker tweet

But how did EnvironMENTALism originate and spread?

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Historic phases of environMENTALism

Phase 1: The virus first appeared in the 1970s - The Dark Story Behind 'Man-Made Global Warming', Those Who Created it - And Why

Phase 2: It spread throughout the next two decades by a process known as IPCC.

Phase 3: The strain mutated in 2006, fueled by a convenient lie and a huge increase in hot air - not carbon dioxide however.

Global warming balloon
Phase 4: Transmission took place initially in several countries in the developed West, particularly among impressionable children, but soon spread until it reached pandemic levels.

Phase 5: A global environMENTALism pandemic is underway and the illness is widespread. Alternative media sources and immune scientists are actively working to curtail the spread of the disease using critical thinking, objective analysis and deprogramming measures (see below).

EnvironMENTALism is caused by ignorance and fear - the only known antidote is truth. And humor.

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EnvironMENTALism - The 3-step treatment plan

The following 3-step plan should only be offered to those showing remnants of common sense and aspiration to think for themselves. Alas, most have been so indoctrinated by government experts, mainstream media, educational facilities and NGOs, they are unlikely to recover sensibility. Even when presented with unbiased, scientific data showing that man-made global warming, aka climate change, aka climate crisis, aka climate emergency is a fallacy, the resulting cognitive dissonance they undergo only strengthens their belief.

1. Psychology

None of us are as smart as we may think. Having a greater understanding of your cognitive biases can enable you to make more informed decisions.
"Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power."

~ Lao Tzu
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2. Information

Fake news? Real news? Is it biased or objective? Where do you get your information from, mainstream or alternative media?
"The people will believe what the media tells them they believe."

~ George Orwell
3. Critical thinking

Apply lessons learned from steps 1 and 2 above. Read, listen, think, learn, repeat.

Spend just over 30 minutes listening to a real scientist and a sensible environmentalist (not to be confused for the afflicted version) on the issue of climate change.

Spend time reading material from diverse sources that consider all the data concerning climate, the history of civilization and modern society - not just that presented by those with narrow, vested interest - pecuniary or ideological - in engaging you as an activist in their schemes.

For starters, David DuByne of YouTube channel Adapt 2030 recently had a two-part discussion with Laura Knight-Jadczyk and Pierre Lescaudron, authors of Earth Changes and the Human Cosmic Connection: The Secret History of the World.

See here for Part 1 and Part 2.

Apply lessons learned from steps 1 and 2 above. Read, listen, think, learn, repeat.
"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."

~ Arthur Schopenhauer
extinction rebellion