The contest appeared to be narrowing down to the two favorites, a Pomeranian named "Alice" and a poodle named "Winston." However, both were mauled to death during the final showing, leaving Slayer to collect the cup.
"Congratulations to Slayer and to his owner, Jethro Calhoun," said the dog show judge, Braxton Anderson. "It came down to the wire, but we can now confirm that the one other remaining contestant, the beagle 'Trixie,' no longer has a pulse. You have truly left the carcasses of the competition in your wake. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a champion!"
The Westminster Dog Show started out with over 2,500 contestants, with the field being narrowed at preliminary events based on judges' scorecards and who Slayer hadn't yet killed.
"The dogs are judged on structure, temperament, condition, and being alive," stated Anderson. "The last criterion there really turned out to be key."
At publishing time, all future Westminster Dog Shows had been cancelled after Slayer killed all of the judges.
Coming soon to a Democrat-controlled city near you!
Reader Comments
The police investigated and found out that the same dog had got loose a few days earlier and bit a guy multiple times. Then I happpened along a few days later. They put it down after it got me. Crazy stuff. I love dogs but that is a horrible breed.
The next day the dog comes back and scratches at the door. The guy opens the door, the dog comes in, goes down the hall, jumps on the couch, gets comfortable and falls asleep again. The man lets him sleep. After about an hour the dog wakes up, walks to the door and the guy lets him out. The dog wags his tale and leaves.
This goes on for days. The guy grows really curious, so he pins a note on the dog's collar: "Your dog has been taking a nap at my house every day." The next day the dog arrives with another note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with four children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?' " on X [Link]