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Fri, 14 Dec 2018
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Titania McGrath: "I now understand how Nelson Mandela felt"

joan of arc
My name is Titania McGrath. I am a radical intersectionalist poet committed to feminism, social justice, and armed peaceful protest. In April of this year, I decided to become more industrious on social media. I was inspired by other activists who had made use of their online platforms in order to spread their message and explain to people why they are wrong about everything.

This week the powers-that-be at Twitter hit my account with a "permanent suspension" (a semantic contradiction, but then I suppose bigots aren't known for their grammatical prowess). This was the latest in a series of suspensions, all of which were imposed because I had been too woke. The final straw appeared to be a tweet in which I informed my followers that I would be attending a pro-Brexit march so that I could punch a few UKIP supporters in the name of tolerance.

Comment: For any that don't know, Ms McGrath's Twitter account has some of the best examples of parody and satire to be found on the platform. It's well worth the follow - @TitaniaMcGrath


Christmas Tree

Wild beaver spotted in supermarket looking for the perfect Christmas tree

Beaver
A beaver left his or her dam in Charlotte Hall Monday on a quest to find Christmas decorations at a local dollar store, the St. Mary's County Sheriff's Office reports.

Witnesses say they saw the beaver attempting to select the perfect Christmas tree and checking out other discounted holiday decor.

Corporal Yingling was called in after the beaver reportedly caused some property damage to the store.

Officials say the beaver attempted to flee the area when Yingling arrived but he or she was safely "apprehended" by Animal Control.

Black Magic

Traditional Krampus Run around the Munich Christmas Market

Krampus
They look scary - but actually they're totally harmless: about 300 masked beings frighten passers-by during the big traditional run of the Krampusses via the Munich Christmas Market on Sunday, December 9th 2018 from 3 to 5 pm and Sunday, December 23rd 2018 from 4 to 5 pm.

The Krampus tradition

The Krampus is the scary assistant of kind Saint Nicholas. Whereas the latter likes to turn a blind eye when children are naughty, the Krampus prefers to rattle his chain in a terrifying manner, to attain the required level of respect and to reprimand his disagreeable contemporaries. The Krampus Run dates back 500 years to a tradition from the Alpine regions. As early as the 16th century, the so-called "Klabaufs" paraded around: Schoolchildren, choirmasters and school teachers of the Frauenkirche and St Peter's church dressed up as bishops and caused so much unrest that the policed had to be summoned. The tradition of the Krampus Run is once again very popular, especially among young people.

Smiley

Gollum actor Andy Serkis trolls Theresa May in hilarious Brexit video: "We's in a nasty mess my precioussss"

gollum May brexit

Andy Serkis shared the brilliant clip of him mocking Theresa May
The Lord of the Rings star shared a "leaked" video from inside 10 Downing Street.

Gollum actor Andy Serkis has ridiculously trolled Theresa May over her Brexit agreement.

The motion capture star shared a "leaked" video from inside 10 Downing Street.

The almost 3-minute-long clip shows Serkis combine both Gollum, a fictional character from Lord of the Rings, with the Prime Minister.

Megaphone

Teen quits Walmart with epic rant

Jackson Racicot
© Jackson Racicot
A screen grab from Jackson Racicot's Facebook video quitting his Walmart job in Grande Prairie.
A Facebook video of a 17-year-old worker airing his grievances over a Grande Prairie Walmart intercom system and then quitting is attracting some online attention.

The "How I quit my job today" video posted to Jackson Racicot's Facebook page at around 4 p.m. on Thursday shows him dialing into the intercom system at a Grande Prairie Walmart and addressing shoppers, associates and management in a speech that could rival Howard Beale's famous "I'm as mad as hell" monologue from the movie Network.

"I got fed up," Racicot said in a Friday interview, explaining he felt employees were not being treated well and others should know about it.

He said had been working in various Walmart department for a little over a year and a half, "I don't regret what I did, I went into this knowing what will happen," he continued.

Fire

Emmanuel Macron criticizes climate change tax protesters for not using carbon-neutral rioting methods

macron yellow vest protest
Finally addressing the rising unrest over climate change taxes and other cost of living issues, French President Emmanuel Macron criticized the protesters for not using carbon-neutral rioting methods.

Macron blasted the movement for callously burning cars on the streets and setting fires that would contribute to global warming.

"These protesters are burning entire cars when a strongly worded letter would suffice," he said. "Preferrably on recycled paper." He also suggested blowing bubbles and speaking words of encouragement to one another in the streets. "This is a much more powerful demonstration than using fire and violence."

Snakes in Suits

Nigerian president denies dying and being replaced by a clone

Muhammadu Buhari

Not a clone.
Nigeria's President Muhammadu Buhari has denied claims that he had died and was replaced by a Sudanese impostor, breaking his silence on a rumour that has circulated on social media for months.

Buhari, who is running for re-election in February, spent five months in Britain last year being treated for an undisclosed illness. One theory widely aired on social media - and by some political opponents - was that he had been replaced by a lookalike from Sudan called Jubril.

No evidence has been presented, but videos making the claim have been viewed thousands of times on YouTube and Facebook.

"It's the real me, I assure you. I will soon celebrate my 76th birthday and I will still go strong," Buhari told Nigerians in a town hall session in Poland on Sunday, where he was attending a conference, when asked about Jubril.

Comment: Glad that's finally settled.


Smiley

RT's Redacted Tonight takes on cell phones and cancer: 'Worse than Pokemon Go'

Redacted Tonight
© RT / Redacted Tonight
This week, host Lee Camp has some sad news for selfie addicts and chatterboxes everywhere: cellphones do, in fact, cause cancer. A $25 million study this year confirmed the link, by testing rats exposed to cellphone radiation.

"The effect was not high scores on Pokemon Go," Lee explained. "The effect was cancer, which is, like, worse than Pokemon Go."

Another decades-old scientific study found that these ubiquitous devices can cause rare neuro-epithelial tumors and "functional genetic damage" to users. So did the wireless industry address these concerns? Nope. The industry buried the results and pressed on with development of 5G networks, coming soon, and described as having a potential "weapons grade" effect on public health.

Lee then talks about the weedkiller company Monsanto which also worked hard to cover up their products' cancer-causing side effects. "By now you're seeing a trend," Lee said. "It seems like Monsanto has known for years that Roundup causes cancer. And yet they did everything they could to cover up the studies.

Smiley

G20 leaders send strong message to Saudi Prince by not laughing at all his jokes

G20 Leaders
© NewsThump
The democracies in the G20 took a strong stance against the blatant murder of the journalist Jamal Khashoggi on the orders of Saudi prince Mohammad bin Salman by refusing to guffaw at his bad jokes with some leaders even daring to look mildly bored when he spoke.

Emmanuel Macron was the first leader to signal to the Saudi Prince that the casual murder of journalists was unacceptable when he shook Ben Salman's hand and put on a slight frown before saying he was worried.

Bomb

Obama blasts Trump's inhuman use of tear gas on foreigners: Drone strike would have done a better job!

Obamer
© Babylon Bee
Washington, D.C.-Addressing a crowd at a lucrative speaking engagement Tuesday evening, former president Barack Obama slammed President Trump for his "inhumane" use of tear gas at the border earlier this week, pointing out that a drone strike would have done the job much more effectively.

Obama ripped into Trump for using tear gas when a simple deadly drone strike would have sufficed.