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Mon, 19 Feb 2018
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Make dating great again: Dating site for Trump supporters officially launches

trump dating
© Trump Dating
Trump.Dating is a new, full-service online dating site aimed specifically at draining the dating swamp by providing out-and-proud Trump supporters with a place to connect with like-minded people. It officially its virtual doors this week to all America-first individuals looking for love.

Based on the overwhelming empirical evidence that like-minded people have a far better chance at success in a relationship today, Trump.Dating was made by patriots, for patriots, passionate about putting America first in their future.

"Political leanings are part of each and every person's foundation," said Sean McGrossier, founder and owner of Trump.Dating. "Every Trump supporter in America right now knows how hostile the political climate is, forced to hide our loud-and-proud support for the president in colleges, restaurants, chatrooms, and more. With Trump.Dating, users don't have to skirt around the awkward Trump question. They already know."


Cow escapes slaughter by smashing through metal fence, breaking man's arm, then swimming to safety on island

The cow appears to have won its right to live after a campaign by politician
© Pawel Kukiz Facebook/Pawel Kukiz
The cow appears to have won its right to live after a campaign by politician
A cow has been living alone on an island, attacking anyone who comes near, after staging a miraculous escape on its way to a slaughterhouse.

The animal made its bid for safety last month after it refused to get into a lorry taking it to be killed for meat. Instead it rammed a metal fence before making a dash for the nearby Lake Nysa, south Poland.

After the cow's owner, known only as Mr Lukasz, attempted to get it back to the farm, the cow broke one of his worker's arms, according to Polish news show Wiadomosci.

Comment: Be like Miss Cow, never, ever, ever give up:


Co-author of physics paper is age 7 and feline

orange cat book
© Mollie Hunt - WordPress.com
Physics paper co-author F.D.C. Willard (media stand-in)
On April 1, 2014, the American Physical Society announced a landmark change in policy: All scientific papers authored by cats would henceforth become freely available to the public.

The announcement was a joke (it was April Fools' Day), but the cat that inspired it was not. His name is Chester - better known to the scientific community as F.D.C. Willard, arguably the most famous cat in physics after Schrödinger's.

In 1975, Chester/Willard's name appeared alongside Michigan State University physics professor Jack Hetherington's on an influential paper about the low-temperature physics of helium-3 isotopes - versions of an element (helium, in this case) with different numbers of neutrons in their nuclei - published in the journal Physical Review Letters. Hetherington was Chester's owner, and he had initially included the 7-year-old Siamese cat's name on the paper to resolve a grammatical blunder.

As a colleague pointed out while editing the draft, Hetherington listed himself as the study's sole author, yet he had nevertheless written the entire paper using the "we" pronoun. This was against the journal's style rules, the colleague noted. Hetherington's paper would surely be rejected if it wasn't retyped.


Flatearth Aeronautical Experimentation Colonisation And Exploration Society to launch satellites by throwing them off the edge

Flat Earth
© Twitter
The Flat Earth Society is to beat Elon Musk at his own game by throwing satellites off the edge of the world to get them into orbit.

The society plans to both raise funds and prove its theories correct at the same time by launching telecommunications and weather satellites from their facility which will be built 'perched above the void'.

The New agency will be called Flatearth Aeronautical Experimentation Colonisation And Exploration Society - or FAECES for short.


Missouri women catches neighbor's Corgi riding her pony

dog rides pony
© Callie Schenker
Callie Schenker's pony, Cricket, has struck up an unusual friendship with her Mennonite neighbor's Corgi.
Callie Schenker's video of her one-eyed pony and its canine passenger trotting away into the dark has been seen by millions of people.

Callie Schenker, 22, was greeted with an unusual sight when she pulled into her driveway Thursday night.

Her neighbor's Corgi was sitting on top of her one-eyed pony, Cricket.

Schenker started laughing, whipped out her phone and pressed record.

She posted a 15-second video to Facebook, thinking only her friends would see it, with the message: "I can't make this stuff up!!! So we pull back in our driveway tonight and this is what we see. This is not our dog! But apparently him and Cricket the one eyed wonder pony are best friends. I'm stealing the dog, new circus act!"

Schenker's video of the pony and his canine passenger trotting away into the night has gone viral. As of Monday morning, her video has been shared 85,000 times and has received nearly 5 million views.

Schenker, who lives in Halfway, near Bolivar, told the News-Leader her phone has been blowing up with comments, questions and friend requests. When she woke up Monday, she had 400 new Facebook notifications.

"It was insane," she said. "It was kind of overwhelming."

Eggs Fried

The yolk's on you: Norway's Olympic team receives 15,000 eggs they didn't order

stacks of eggs
© Ina Fassbender / Reuters
A minor translation error in a conversation with Norway's Olympic Team has left their Korean hosts with egg on their face - the Norwegian caterers took delivery of 15,000 eggs, ten times the amount they actually ordered.

The Norwegian Olympic team, which arrived in PyeongChang for the 2018 Winter Games, had placed an order for 1,500 eggs, but something was lost in translation - or rather, added: An extra zero increased the order tenfold.

The conversation between the Norwegian guests and the Korean hosts wasn't all that smooth as both sides made use of an online translator, Aftenposten reports.

Finally, the delivery arrived, but it only took one look at it too see it was too much. "We received half a truck load of eggs," said Stale Johansen, the Team Norway's chef. "There was no end to the delivery. Absolutely unbelievable," he added.


IKEA founder forced to walk through all of heaven before getting to his section

Ikea in Heaven
© Unknown
Ikea Founder Ingvar Kampgrad spent today walking through eighteen different departments and a maze of passageways, just to get to his section of the afterlife.


ER nurse's video about flu epidemic goes viral: 'Wash your stinking hands!'

Nurse rant on flu
A nurse's Facebook rant about the "cesspool of funky flu" in emergency room waiting areas is getting a lot of attention. According to Katherine Lockler, 25 to 30 people often sit for hours in hospital waiting rooms as the worst cases get treated first.

"Wash your stinking hands," Lockler says in a six-minute video that's been viewed 4.8 million times since she recorded it in frustration after a 12-hour shift during this particularly nasty flu season.

The mother of four works in several emergency rooms in the Pensacola area in Florida's Panhandle.

"Some of them are not true emergencies, but they're waiting along with the flu right next to them. So guess what? Five flus came in, 15 flus walk out. It's great," she said sarcastically. "They'll be back."


FBI Director warns release of memo will undermine public trust in secret unaccountable spy agencies

Christopher Wray
Stressing that such an action would be highly reckless, FBI Director Christopher Wray warned Thursday that releasing the "Nunes Memo" could potentially undermine faith in the massive, unaccountable government secret agencies of the United States. "Making this memo public will almost certainly impede our ability to conduct clandestine activities operating outside any legal or judicial system on an international scale," said Wray, noting that it was essential that mutual trust exist between the American people and the vast, mysterious cabal given free rein to use any tactics necessary to conduct surveillance on U.S. citizens or subvert religious and political groups. "If we take away the people's faith in this shadowy monolith exempt from any consequences, all that's left is an extensive network of rogue, unelected intelligence officers carrying out extrajudicial missions for a variety of subjective, and occasionally personal, reasons." At press time, Wray confirmed the massive, unaccountable government secret agencies were unaware of any wrongdoing for violating constitutional rights.

Comment: If we can't trust shadowy monolithic intelligence agencies who don't have our best interests at heart to take care of us, then who can we trust!? Oh wait... you mean we're not supposed to trust them?


Flat-Earther is literally launching himself into space to prove planet is flat

flat earth mike hughes
© Mad Mike Hughes / Facebook
Flat-Earther 'Mad' Mike Hughes intends to finally launch himself into orbit in a homemade rocket on Saturday - right over the Route 66 ghost town of Amboy, California.

An earlier attempt to launch the steam-powered rocket was thwarted at the last minute by a US federal agency, saying Hughes had no permission to use public land.

The vertical rocket jump will now take place on private land belonging to the owner of Amboy, Albert Okura. If successful, it will bring Hughes one step closer to his ambition of reaching the edge of space and proving the Earth is actually flat.

Comment: Gold. Some things about America are just great.