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Mon, 20 Feb 2017
The World for People who Think

Don't Panic! Lighten Up!


Mysterious 'space capsule' baffles Arizona onlookers

© cherokeelion / Instagram
Road users in Arizona were left baffled after a mysterious 'space capsule' appeared alongside a busy interstate highway, with many worried commuters contacting authorities to investigate the peculiar sight.

With thoughts of a potential alien invasion gone wrong, concerned motorists contacted authorities in the city of Casa Grande to investigate the mysterious capsule, which had a parachute attached and 'United States and Capt. J. Millard' and an American flag printed on its side.

It proved however, that the capsule wasn't so puzzling after all, with the Arizona Department of Public Safety's investigation discovering it was in fact an art installation.

"It appears an artist got creative near Casa Grande and turned a cement truck drum into a space capsule! Caused a stir on #I10 this morning," Arizona police tweeted on Monday.


Conclusive proof that Russia and Iran want war!

© Russian Presidential Press and Information Office
The following graphics prove that Russia and Iran want war:

© Small People Against Big Government
Small People Against Big Government

Arrow Down

Thanks Soros! Fifth columnists ban Moscow residents from keeping bears at home

Once a common sight in Moscow. Now illegal, thanks to George Soros
Russia bends the knee. A sad day for everyone. Especially for Russians who share their 2-bedroom apartment with a bear. Which is basically half of Moscow.

It's finally happened. Russia's many enemies — foreign and domestic — have successfully conspired to destroy one of Russia's most ancient and holy writs: The right to keep and bear bears. At home. In Moscow. Where your home probably consists of a 2-bedroom apartment. And one of those bedrooms is the kitchen.

Yes, the so-called "Chairman of the Commission on Environmental Policy" in Moscow has decreed that domesticated bears are no longer welcome in Russia's capital. Why not just surrender to NATO and give George Soros the keys to the Kremlin?


Geriatric Senator can't wrap his mind around Trump's idea that America is not exceptional

Mitch. A a near-sighted neocon turtle on quaaludes.
Do you remember the good ol' days, not so long ago, when the U.S. President understood that America was an infallible beacon of light that rained Skittles on all freedom-loving nations?

Decrepit, war-mongering Senator Mitch McConnell remembers, at least when he doesn't forget to take his meds.

Mitch feels a tingly sensation crawl up his hairy, pale inner thigh every time he thinks of those wonderful, carefree years!

Obama understood that holding the United States to the same standards as everyone else was wrong and bad for Lockheed Martin's stockholders. What happened?

Trump happened. And now those glory years are gone. Gone forever. President Trump says the United States isn't 100% innocent and amazing in every way? Those meddling kids, and their reasonable pragmatism.


Sickness without a cure: British newspaper diagnosed with fatal 'idiot cancer'

Doctors say there is no known cure for The Guardian's ailment

Here's how the Guardian reported Trump's remarkable comments about Putin, and his challenge to America to look inward and stop scapegoating foreign leaders:


A sickness without a cure.

Comment: See also: The Guardian's front page - straight from the pages of Orwell's 1984

Heart - Black

Jonathan Pie: Jeremy Hunt and the privatization of the NHS by stealth

© Gary Barker
An analysis of the lamentable state of the UK's National Health Service and its privatization by Tory stealth, from intrepid UK News reporter Jonathan Pie.

Warning: contains strong language


Dutch comedy show out-Trumps Trump in epic message to the new POTUS

© Bryan Snyder/Reuters
A Dutch comedy show, "Zondag met Lubach," has responded to the inauguration of Donald Trump in splendid fashion.

Following up Trump's promise to "put America first," they released a video from "the government of the Netherlands" welcoming the new US president and explaining why an alliance with the Netherlands is so valuable.

Very well done. Enjoy!

(Only the first 40 seconds are not in English)


Mexico agrees to build wall to stem the tide of American refugees

© Waterford Whispers News
Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto has confirmed today that a proposed plan to build a wall between the United States will now go ahead, in a bid to stem the flow of 'American refugees' currently attempting to migrate from the Trump-led nation.

Pena Nieto, who previously dismissed President Trump's proposal to build a 35 to 40 foot concrete wall at the cost of $8bn to the Mexican taxpayer, made the dramatic U-turn yesterday afternoon, following reports of a large scale immigration of people wishing to leave the 'land of the free'.

So far over 500,000 people are already queueing at various border controls along the current Mexican/US border, forcing the Mexican president to temporarily restrict access to non-Mexicans wishing to escape Donald Trump's America.

"We've been queuing here since Friday," one father of four told WWN, "we've been made stay in a refugee camp along with other Americans. All I want to do is find a better quality of life for my family. Now we're stuck here in limbo".

President Enrique Peña Nieto said he will continue the ban on all immigrants until the wall is built, and urged Americans not to waste their time attempting to cross the border without the appropriate documentation.

"Our borders are currently overwhelmed with overweight men, women and children from the United States of America," he said, "we have no other choice but to close our borders and build this wall to help secure our country".

Emergency pop-up McDonald's restaurants have been erected along the border controls to help feed the starving refugees. The Mexican Navy reported it has saved several hundred people from drowning after trying to cross on makeshift rafts.

In a harrowing incident, one desperate family attempted to cross on their 400lb father, who later had to be sunk after the rescue as emergency crews failed to hoist him to the helicopter.


BREAKING: Major KGB Announcement From Putin About Donald Trump, New US President!

Trolstoyevsky in KGB HQ, 1973
Exclusive video from KGB HQ!

This is not Fake News.

This is a serious announcement available exclusively to Russia Insider by our insider in KGB HQ in Moscow.

We repeat, this is serious news; it's not fake news similar to garbage published by CNN, MSNBC, BBC and other presstitutes.

Here's the official KGB press release:
"Yesterday at 6pm Moscow time one of the most successful KGB operations ended.

Donat Ivanovich Trolstoyevski, KGB sleeper agent, became president of the USA. Congratulations to the KGB, and glory to genius comrade Putin! Donat Ivanovich, your final order - make mother Russia great again!"

Comment: This is, of course, satire. However, if you don't believe us, then please, by all means, forward this to John McCain so that it can go into the next Dodgy Dossier.


Putin hacked fireworks! Trump pre-inauguration party's fireworks display spells out 'USR' instead of 'USA'

© YouTube/Randall Conner
An errant firework at Donald Trump's pre-inaugural fireworks display Thursday which spelled out 'USR' instead of 'USA' has sparked a storm of jokes suggesting that the incoming president plans to turn America into the 'United States of Russia'.

Russia can't seem to get a break from accusations of interfering in American politics. First, they were accused of hacking the election. Then, they got blamed for patching RT through to C-SPAN and glitching out an MSNBC anchor to say 'Russia' over and over. Now, a couple rouge fireworks at Donald Trump's pre-inaugural fireworks display saying 'USR' ('United States of Russia' presumably) have led to a revival of the 'Russians did it' meme in full force.

On Thursday night, at a pre-inauguration welcoming party, speaking before tens of thousands of supporters at the feet of the Lincoln Memorial, the President-elect delivered a stirring speech, promising to make America not just great, but "greater than ever before." Telling the crowd to "enjoy the fireworks," Trump left the stage as the Battle Hymn of the Republic rang out, sung by US Marines, accompanied by a dazzling fireworks display which lasted for over five minutes.