Don't Panic! Lighten Up!
© Babylon Bee
The pope said he thought the English translation of the prayer was not up to politically correct standards, with the new look prayer now covering all aspects of society, law, culture and faith.
The Vatican officially released The Lord's Prayer version 2.0 earlier this morning. Please find the revised prayer below:
© Twitter / Finnish Coast Guard / Merivartiosto
The Coast Guard officers were in for a surprise when they noticed an unusual vessel traversing the foggy waters of the Gulf of Finland on Sunday. Due to poor visibility, it was hard to tell what type of a ship it was, so a patrol boat was dispatched to check it out.
The vessel turned out to be a Russian yacht with three large dragon heads on its hull, the Coast Guard told local media. The stunned officers snapped a picture of the yacht and shared it on social media, describing the vessel as "a three-headed sea monster."
© Mangalorean.com
Yoshi the plastic-eating fish
Yoshi the plastic-eating fish
This local beach in India decided to do something simple, instead of just placing a ton of boring old garbage cans around the beach.
This unique concept was created by artist and sculptor Janardhan Havanje.
Made of iron rods, it cost him nearly Rs 45,000 (£495/$646/€572), to make this 10ft/3m by 8ft/2.44m sculpture-which is filled with plastic waste collected on the beach during the campaign. A sign was added added to it that said "Yoshi loves plastic, please feed him".
The key to the success was that kids had no pleasure in recycling plastics into those old crusty blue bins, but when it turned into a game where they had to "feed" Yoshi it just took off.
Yoshi to this day is constantly being fed, and most of the times he actually gets more than he he needs for a days meal. He's usually taken away by the city overnight to empty all his plastic that he's eaten, and then brought back the next morning with an empty stomach so people can continue to feed him again and again.
My question is, why is there not a Yoshi on every single beach in this country!?
A Nanaimo RCMP search last Wednesday uncovered Kix Citton’s lost keys on her central Nanaimo property.
A search last Wednesday uncovered Kix Citton's lost keys on her central Nanaimo property.
Police were training in the area that day and when they advised Citton of their activities there, she jokingly asked if they could find her keys, which she was pretty sure she had lost in her backyard.
"Searching for keys in [her] backyard is not an easy task as it consists of a variety of plants, shrubs, some weeds, thick and thorny rose bushes and a multitude of strawberry bushes," noted an RCMP press release.
She had given up looking and already made trips to BCAA, her car dealership and a locksmith.
© Babylon Bee
These firemen don't put out fires, but rather, they destroy books, videos, information, and anything else that contradicts a far-left world-view. They utilize fire at 451 degrees Fahrenheit. Google's robotics division has also reportedly developed a Mechanical Hound designed to sniff out resistance to its totalitarian destruction of offensive content.
Google listed several hundred available positions in the company's new "Firehouse" department. The listing posted on Google's Careers page is replicated below:
© Stan Battles
According to the Panama City News Herald, the video was shot by Stan Battles from the 28th floor of his beachside resort. It shows the shark checking out the swimmer in the Gulf of Mexico as she swims through water. It appears there is nobody else around.
Battles told the paper he'd been watching the shark swim around in the muck and sea grass, staying mostly hidden, until the swimmer came along. The shark kept a wide circle around her, and at one point, swims far ahead of her and turns around heading back in her direction. She apparently didn't realize she had a follower.
At the Arkansas School for Mathematics, Sciences and the Arts commencement on Saturday, it was all about Hillary Clinton, because, after all, she had the microphone.
During the roughly 28-minute address, Hillary talked about herself 106 times, or once every 16 seconds.
© Babylon Bee
It's customary for military leaders to say a few words on Memorial Day, sometimes thanking past soldiers for their sacrifice or reminding Americans of the price of freedom. This year, Bolton is going above and beyond, actually announcing new unnecessary wars as a special gift to the country on this solemn occasion.
© Ruptly
An unsuspecting sound engineer appeared before the press gathered outside No. 10 Downing Street on Friday morning to finalize the setting for May's resignation announcement.
As journalists shared snaps of the set-up on Twitter, interest grew in who the mystery man at the center of the preparations might be - and if he may in fact prove a strong successor to the outgoing prime minister.
People were quick to tweet their intrigue, with many simply calling for his immediate appointment as prime minister, if only so that it saves everyone the fuss of having to go through an arduous Tory leadership selection process.
Aides earlier took steps to ensure May wasn't upstaged by the nation's top feline civil servant, Larry, though Twitter users soon called for his appointment as PM, too.
Comment: A few details from LondonSE1: