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Fri, 19 Jul 2019
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50-foot dead parrot placed in Potters Field Park as London celebrates Monty Python reunion

monty python dead parrot
The Monty Python reunion in London began on July 1, and after a 10-day break, picks up again tonight at the O2 Arena for the final five nights that will see Eric Idle, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin on the same stage together, doing silly things one more time. Of course, it's not all silliness - the first five-night run of the performance raised more than £20,000 for five different charities chosen by the Python members, by giving those charities the opportunity to auction off the right to perform in a sketch alongside the cast.

Comment: A few details from LondonSE1:
Three sculptors worked for more than two months to design, construct and paint the giant bird inspired by the famous 'dead parrot' sketch.

"We are all Monty Python fans so we were delighted to receive the brief from Gold to recreate the mythical 'Norwegian Blue' on a giant scale," said lead sculptor Iain Prendergast.

"We watched both live and televised versions of the sketch and found that there have been a number of different incarnations of the parrot with a variety of different plumages.

"Our sculpture provides a colourful hybrid of the dead parrots which have featured in the celebrated sketch.

"The key challenge for us was capturing the comedy value of the dead parrot, keeping the realism of the bird whilst also adding touches like the bloodshot, 'stunned' eyes."

Steve North, general manager of Gold, said: "We believe that our giant dead parrot provides a fitting tribute to a sketch that is so loved by audiences throughout the world. We hope that fans will join us for the final Monty Python performance this Sunday to see Britain's greatest ever comedy group bow out in style."


Vatican announces new changes to the Lord's prayer

Pope Francis
© Babylon Bee
Known worldwide as 'The Lord's Prayer' and one of the Catholic Church's best-loved prayers, the Our Father was officially changed last week following a decision by Pope Francis, who insisted that the original prayer did not fit into modern times.

The pope said he thought the English translation of the prayer was not up to politically correct standards, with the new look prayer now covering all aspects of society, law, culture and faith.

The Vatican officially released The Lord's Prayer version 2.0 earlier this morning. Please find the revised prayer below:


Stunned Finnish Coast Guard spots '3-headed sea monster'... turns out to be a 'Russian yacht'

Three headed serpent boat
© Twitter / Finnish Coast Guard / Merivartiosto
Finland's Coast Guard sent a patrol boat to inspect a peculiar "three-headed sea monster" making its way thought the mist along the nation's border. However, the mysterious object was not quite a deep-sea creature.

The Coast Guard officers were in for a surprise when they noticed an unusual vessel traversing the foggy waters of the Gulf of Finland on Sunday. Due to poor visibility, it was hard to tell what type of a ship it was, so a patrol boat was dispatched to check it out.

The vessel turned out to be a Russian yacht with three large dragon heads on its hull, the Coast Guard told local media. The stunned officers snapped a picture of the yacht and shared it on social media, describing the vessel as "a three-headed sea monster."


Giant 'Yoshi the Fish' helps keep Indian beach clean

fish sculpture beach trash
© Mangalorean.com
Yoshi the plastic-eating fish
As some rumours swirl around the internet that there will be more plastic than fish by 2050, there are also some great stories about local recycling, like this one about Yoshi The Fish.

This local beach in India decided to do something simple, instead of just placing a ton of boring old garbage cans around the beach.

This unique concept was created by artist and sculptor Janardhan Havanje.

Made of iron rods, it cost him nearly Rs 45,000 (£495/$646/€572), to make this 10ft/3m by 8ft/2.44m sculpture-which is filled with plastic waste collected on the beach during the campaign. A sign was added added to it that said "Yoshi loves plastic, please feed him".

The key to the success was that kids had no pleasure in recycling plastics into those old crusty blue bins, but when it turned into a game where they had to "feed" Yoshi it just took off.

Yoshi to this day is constantly being fed, and most of the times he actually gets more than he he needs for a days meal. He's usually taken away by the city overnight to empty all his plastic that he's eaten, and then brought back the next morning with an empty stomach so people can continue to feed him again and again.

My question is, why is there not a Yoshi on every single beach in this country!?


Key asset: Police dog sniffs out car keys lost in woman's backyard

Police dog finds lost keys

A Nanaimo RCMP search last Wednesday uncovered Kix Citton’s lost keys on her central Nanaimo property.
Nanaimo RCMP happened to be doing police dog training at the exact time and place to be of great help to a local resident.

A search last Wednesday uncovered Kix Citton's lost keys on her central Nanaimo property.

Police were training in the area that day and when they advised Citton of their activities there, she jokingly asked if they could find her keys, which she was pretty sure she had lost in her backyard.

"Searching for keys in [her] backyard is not an easy task as it consists of a variety of plants, shrubs, some weeds, thick and thorny rose bushes and a multitude of strawberry bushes," noted an RCMP press release.

She had given up looking and already made trips to BCAA, her car dealership and a locksmith.


Google deploys squads to destroy offensive books, videos, websites

Google Squad
© Babylon Bee
It looks like Google is adding hundreds of jobs to Silicon Valley, as its newly opened book-burning division is looking to hire firemen.

These firemen don't put out fires, but rather, they destroy books, videos, information, and anything else that contradicts a far-left world-view. They utilize fire at 451 degrees Fahrenheit. Google's robotics division has also reportedly developed a Mechanical Hound designed to sniff out resistance to its totalitarian destruction of offensive content.

Google listed several hundred available positions in the company's new "Firehouse" department. The listing posted on Google's Careers page is replicated below:


Curious shark checks out swimmer at Panama City, Florida beach

Swimming with sharks in FL
© Stan Battles
A woman swimming off the shoreline of Panama City Beach got a bit too close for comfort to a pretty big shark and someone in a nearby hotel captured the close encounter on video.

According to the Panama City News Herald, the video was shot by Stan Battles from the 28th floor of his beachside resort. It shows the shark checking out the swimmer in the Gulf of Mexico as she swims through water. It appears there is nobody else around.

Battles told the paper he'd been watching the shark swim around in the muck and sea grass, staying mostly hidden, until the swimmer came along. The shark kept a wide circle around her, and at one point, swims far ahead of her and turns around heading back in her direction. She apparently didn't realize she had a follower.

Mr. Potato

Hillary refers to herself 106 times during high school graduation speech

hillary clinton
Most graduation speeches are filled with optimistic anecdotes and bits of advice for young people ready to take on the world.

At the Arkansas School for Mathematics, Sciences and the Arts commencement on Saturday, it was all about Hillary Clinton, because, after all, she had the microphone.

During the roughly 28-minute address, Hillary talked about herself 106 times, or once every 16 seconds.


Bolton announces 7 new wars in honor of Memorial Day

Mad Dog Bolton
© Babylon Bee
Washington, D.C.-In a moving speech to honor Memorial Day, National Security Advisor John Bolton announced seven new wars the U.S. will launch in the coming months.

It's customary for military leaders to say a few words on Memorial Day, sometimes thanking past soldiers for their sacrifice or reminding Americans of the price of freedom. This year, Bolton is going above and beyond, actually announcing new unnecessary wars as a special gift to the country on this solemn occasion.

Mr. Potato

'Hot podium guy for PM': Twitter hails unlikely successor to Theresa May

hot podium guy
© Ruptly
Over a dozen Tories are clambering to take over the top spot from Theresa May, but the British public appears to be backing an unlikely (and undeclared) candidate for PM: 'hot podium guy'.

An unsuspecting sound engineer appeared before the press gathered outside No. 10 Downing Street on Friday morning to finalize the setting for May's resignation announcement.

As journalists shared snaps of the set-up on Twitter, interest grew in who the mystery man at the center of the preparations might be - and if he may in fact prove a strong successor to the outgoing prime minister.

People were quick to tweet their intrigue, with many simply calling for his immediate appointment as prime minister, if only so that it saves everyone the fuss of having to go through an arduous Tory leadership selection process.

Aides earlier took steps to ensure May wasn't upstaged by the nation's top feline civil servant, Larry, though Twitter users soon called for his appointment as PM, too.