smokers for Jesus

Jesus hates a quitter
Programming is a powerful thing.

Everyone knows that smoking is bad for your health, right? They know this because their governments tell them so, and everybody knows that our governments only have the best interests of the people at heart, right? (roll eyes here)

With the relentless push towards GMO crops, toxic flouride in the drinking water, mandatory mercury-laden vaccines, chemical pollutants spewing into the atmosphere, herbicides and pesticides sprayed from here to kingdom come, it's a wonder anyone remains alive on planet earth!

Still, with all the overwhelming evidence that our elected leaders couldn't care less about the health and welfare of the common people, and are only concerned with the accumulation of power and lining their own pockets at the expense of everyone else, it is amazing that most people still buy into the propaganda that tobacco smoke is bad for you.

Common sense tells us that if the government consistently lies about everything else, then it is likely, if not an absolute certitude, that they are lying about smoking as well.

In the ordinary realm of psychopathic politics, whatever propaganda is pushed by those in power, it is a good bet the exact opposite is true. Just take any story from the mainstream media, turn it around 180 degrees, and chances are you're getting close to the real story.

But don't take my word for it. Let's all pretend for a moment that our benevolent leaders are correct and that smoking tobacco is the most horrible thing in the universe, so diabolically vile that it tortures kittens and melts the bones of small children. Tobacco is Hitler-esque in it's evilness and even the Devil is repulsed by those gruesome black-lung pictures that decorate every pack.

Surely, it must be time to quit.

Yet, everyone knows how hard it is to quit smoking. Not only does quitting cause a person to experience a drastic increase in stress from withdrawal, one is also put at risk to develop a myriad of diseases like oral cancer, diabetes, allergies, emphysema, arthritis, schizophrenia, lung cancer, heart disease, the plague, radiation poisoning, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, depression, memory loss, idiocy, and even alien abduction.

But at least you will be protected from nipple gangrene!

So if you're having trouble quitting smoking, now is the time to try our patented simple sure fire absolutely effective super secret easy long lasting free no risk unequivocally guaranteed method to completely eliminate the pain and stress of quitting smoking.

Ready, here it is...

Don't quit.

Keep smoking.

Or if you've already quit, start smoking again.

It's good for you. (really)

Let's All Light Up.


For a more informative, less tongue-in-cheek video that explains the benefits of smoking tobacco... click here.