Science of the SpiritS


Red Flag

How to tell if you were raised by a narcissist

Anna Almendrala
Huffington Post
Mon, 12 Oct 2015 17:03 UTC
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© GETTY IMAGES
Once you figure this out, a whole lot of other things will start to make sense.

To outsiders, your dad is a larger-than-life social magnet who attracts people from all walks of life. Or your mom is the perfect woman, always looking to please and juggling everything with ease.

But behind closed doors, all pretense falls away. Only you, their child, knows what it's like to endure their cold shoulders for days on end over a minor infraction, or bear the brunt of constant, age-inappropriate demands for perfection and strength. You know what it's like to be parented by a narcissist.

Comment: For a deeper understanding of this topic read: The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert Pressman.
In this compelling book, the authors present an innovative therapeutic model for understanding and treating adults from emotionally abusive or neglectful families - families the authors call narcissistic. Narcissistic families have a parental system that is, for whatever reason (job stress, alcoholism, drug abuse, mental illness, physical disability, lack of parenting skills, self-centered immaturity), primarily involved in getting its own needs met. The children in such narcissistic family systems try to earn love, attention and approval by satisfying their parents' needs, thus never developing the ability to recognize their own needs or create strategies for getting them met. By outlining the theoretical framework of their model and using dozens of illustrative clinical examples, the authors clearly illuminate specific practice guidelines for treating these individuals. Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman is a therapist, consultant, and trainer. She is known for her work with dysfunctional families, particularly with survivors of incest. Robert M. Pressman is the editor-in-chief and president of the Joint Commission for the Development of the Treatment and Statistical Manual for Behavioral and Mental Disorders.


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Bulb

MIT scientists discover new brain circuit involved in sleep regulation

Samantha Olson
Medical Daily
Wed, 14 Oct 2015 17:24 UTC
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© en.sunningview.com
What happens inside our brains that makes us zone out when we're sleep deprived? Looking to determine what happens in the brain when we want to sleep but don't, a study published in the journal eLife, from neuroscientists at MIT, describes a newly discovered circuit in the brain's cortex. They believe this circuit has the ability to trigger specific regions to fall asleep or become less alert while the rest of the brain stays awake. If confirmed, the discovery could help researchers invent sleep and anesthetic drugs that better mimic our natural sleeping states.

"During sleep, maybe specific brain regions have slow waves at the same time because they need to exchange information with each other, whereas other ones don't," said the study's co-author Laura Lewis, a research affiliate in MIT's Department of Brain and Cognitive Sciences, in a press release. "I'm inclined to think that happens because the brain begins to transition into sleep, and some local brain regions become drowsy even if you force yourself to stay awake."

The special circuit was found inside the thalamic reticular nucleus (TRN), a region inside the brain that controls brain waves in deep sleep, during a coma, and while a person is under anesthesia. It may also be where new memories are shared between different areas of the brain, causing a person to zone out and become drowsy while not quite falling asleep.

For the study, researchers studied mice and found that when they gently stimulated the TRN in mice, slow waves appeared in the cortex. "We also found that when you induce these slow waves across the cortex, animals start to behaviorally act like they're drowsy," Lewis added. "They'll stop moving around, their muscle tone will go down."

Comment: See also: Are You Asleep? Exploring the Mind's Twilight Zone

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People 2

Examining the one word that can kill a friendship

Kira Asatryan
Psychology Today
Thu, 15 Oct 2015 14:40 UTC
friend lonely
© Unknown
There's this word you use all the time. It's a seemingly harmless word - it's close to meaningless, really - but it's slowly, subversively tainting your relationships.

Look back over any recent texts and emails you've sent to friends. If they look something like this, you're caught in this word's trap.

"I'd love to hang out! But I'm really busy."

"Sorry I didn't get back to you earlier! I've been so busy."

"What's going on with me? Just busy as usual!"

You guessed it. The single-word saboteur is "Busy." It's a word that's stealthily driving your friends away, and it's time to eliminate it from your social vocabulary.

Comment: And sometimes you just need to stop and smell the roses!
Work too hard and you also lose sight of the bigger picture. Research has suggested that as we burn out, we have a greater tendency to get lost in the weeds.

In sum, the story of overwork is literally a story of diminishing returns: keep overworking, and you'll progressively work more stupidly on tasks that are increasingly meaningless.

Working long hours not only impairs health but reduces productivity
Also see: Why do we murder the beautiful friendships of boys?

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Bulb

The Sioux guide to situational awareness

Brett and Kate McKay
Art of Manliness
Tue, 13 Oct 2015 11:46 UTC
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Charles Alexander Eastman was born in 1858 and raised as "Ohiyesa" to be a hunter and warrior in the traditional ways of the Santee Sioux. When he was almost 16 years old, he left tribal life to learn the culture of European-American civilization and earn his undergraduate and medical degrees. Eastman became a doctor, a tireless advocate for the rights of his people, and a writer of many works in which he sought to share the true ways of the American Indian. We previously shared Eastman's insights on the Sioux ideal of manhood. Having laid that foundational overview, we will now offer a series of edited collections of Eastman's writing on 3 specific subjects: situational awareness, physical and mental discipline, and spirituality.

First up: situational awareness. The life of the American Indian was a satisfying but precarious one. Natural and human dangers abounded. To watch for these threats, the Sioux selected certain men to serve as two types of scouts — one for hunting and one for war. Part of the job of the latter was to secrete themselves just outside the tribe's village at night and listen and watch for potential enemies in the darkness; Eastman describes these nocturnal scouts as having "been so trained as to rival an owl or a cat in their ability to see in the dark."

Comment:
The journey from boy to man: A lesson from the Sioux
Situational Awareness - Observe, Orient, Decide, Act

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Heart - Black

Emotional abuse in childhood as harmful as violence or neglect

Ashley Welch
CBS News
Wed, 14 Oct 2015 02:02 UTC
Image
© FASPHOTOGRAPHIC
Though abusive words don't leave physical scars, they may have the same lasting mental health effects as violence, new research finds.

According to a study published in JAMA Psychiatry, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as other forms of child abuse, including violence and neglect.
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Hearts

Romantic love can lead to growth or stagnation

Kate Baggaley
Brain Decoder
Wed, 14 Oct 2015 15:56 UTC
masks
© Shutterstock
"Come sleep with me: We won't make Love, Love will make us," Argentinian author Julio Cortázar wrote in his 1963 novel Hopscotch. Love can indeed change people—a new romance can be an opportunity for self-growth. But when a relationship leads people to reject other important pieces of their lives, those gains diminish, researchers report in a new study.

"It is well accepted that people may change when they become involved in a new romance, but we felt that little was known about the personal factors likely to affect the extent and nature of these changes," said coauthor Noémie Carbonneau, a social psychologist at the University of Quebec at Trois-Rivières.
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Smiley

Laugh today: Benefit your body, mind, and heart

Christina Sarich
The Mind Unleashed
Sun, 11 Oct 2015 15:37 UTC
laughing men
"Laughter is part of the human survival kit." - Comedian David Nathan

Whether its Larry, Mo and Curly that tickle your funny bone or watching George Carlin, Amy Shumer, and Chris Rock standup on Youtube, there's nothing like a fit of laughter to make this crazy world better - but there's more. Your body, mind, and heart will benefit from that giggle-fit, too. Here are ten reasons to laugh however you may - fart jokes are not out of the question:

Laughter Cures Illness Faster. Hunter Campbell, M.D., the American physician whose life inspired the 1998 movie Patch Adams, took laughter therapy to a new level. He opened a free, full-scale hospital that actually used laughter as medicine, and it worked! It relieved tension and the fight or flight response of his patients, many of whom were in constant pain. If laughter can do that for patients in a hospital what do you think it can do for you?

Comment: Laugh your way to better health:

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Galaxy

Soulful connections beyond generations

Tom Bunzel
Collective Evolution
Tue, 13 Oct 2015 15:11 UTC
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In most modern conventional belief the notion of a "Soul," if considered at all, is seen as a timeless nonmaterial property of a human being. New Age thinking generally talks about the soul expressing or manifesting throughout one's life, and then one returning to an ethereal soul state upon death.

In this context no effort is required or sought and everything simply happens at it should—"everything happens for a reason." This is often tied to Eastern concepts of great cycles and it is thought that simple acceptance of "what is" is sufficient for a life well lived.

Comment: Listen to the SOTT Talk Radio interviews with author William Patrick Patterson about the mysterious teachings of Georges Gurdjieff. After many years as a student of The Fourth Way and discovering no answer to the question that had gradually formed in him - what is the 'self' in self-remembering? - Mr. Patterson was called to explore Advaita Vedanta (non-dualism). In doing so, he realized the full significance of the ideas and practices of The Fourth Way and how this sacred and seminal teaching provided not only the necessary foundation, but was applicable on the very highest levels.

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Magic Wand

Have you got the X Factor? Psychologists find that you may be musical and not even know it


ScienceDaily
Tue, 13 Oct 2015 00:00 UTC
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© Syda Productions / FotoliaWomen singing karaoke.
The old adage says practice makes perfect, but new research shows that personality also plays a key role in musical ability, even for those who do not play an instrument. In a new study, a team of psychologists identified that the personality trait "Openness" predicts musical ability and sophistication.

In a study published this week in the Journal of Research in Personality, a team of psychologists identified that the personality trait "Openness" predicts musical ability and sophistication. People who score highly on Openness are imaginative, have a wide range of interests, and are open to new ways of thinking and changes in their environment.

Previous convention has held that the amount you practice is the key to success. This idea received widespread attention earlier this decade when writer Malcolm Gladwell argued that it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert in any domain, whether it is sports, music, art, or chess. But scientists are now discovering that there may be other factors involved as well.
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Family

Flashback Researchers show meditation can alter your genes

Michael Forrester
Prevent Disease
Thu, 05 Dec 2013 15:49 UTC
DNA
With evidence growing that training the mind or inducing specific modes of consciousness can have beneficial health effects, scientists have sought to understand how these practices physically affect the body. A new study by researchers in Wisconsin, Spain, and France reports the first evidence of specific molecular changes in the body following a period of intensive mindfulness practice.

The study investigated the effects of a day of intensive mindfulness practice in a group of experienced meditators, compared to a group of untrained control subjects who engaged in quiet non-meditative activities. After eight hours of mindfulness practice, the meditators showed a range of genetic and molecular differences, including altered levels of gene-regulating machinery and reduced levels of pro-inflammatory genes, which in turn correlated with faster physical recovery from a stressful situation.

Comment: There have been numerous studies showing the benefits of meditation and yoga - for more information see: Meditation changes how genes are expressed - study and Reprogramming inflammation with meditation.

One type of meditation that is exploding in popularity is the Éiriú Eolas Stress Control, Healing and Rejuvenation Program. It is an ancient breathing and meditation program which helps to rejuvenate and detoxify the body and mind and can be learned here for free.

Face life with Éiriú Eolas, a stress relief program

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