
© Off-Guardian
I was at the ballet the other night, yes, the ballet. It was the Canadian Ballet Company's production of Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake. Before the ballet started, the orchestra struck up a thundering version of Canada's national anthem,
O Canada.
I knew the ballet had not yet started because I was aware that Tchaikovsky's masterpiece did not begin with a drum roll. This rendition of O Canada most certainly did.
Almost without hesitation, the entire audience stood and broke into song. How riveting. I do not know the words to the national ditty, and even if I did, I doubt if I could have persuaded my lungs to pump them out. In fact, I was more inclined to sit down, but instead, I stood with the rest of them. When in Rome and all that — and better not to start a fight with the Canadian wife.
When it was over, the crowd broke into a cheer that would rival hockey game exuberance. For a moment, I expected the ballet dancers to come out with helmets and sticks rather than tutus and ballet slippers. "What in hell was that all about?" I thought to myself. Ahh, it is time for
Canadian nationalistic fervor!They have, once again (the first time being in 1812), been attacked by their neighbours to the south, and I'll be danged if they are going to stand for it! The first time, they burned the White House to the ground. Who knows what they will do this time? (
Fact Check Alert: I doubt if the White House was burnt to the ground, and it wasn't even Canadians who did it — Canada as a country was not yet invented. It was the British who set the place ablaze — but try to tell that to a Canadian.)
Ever since Big Bad Orange Man Trump levied tariffs on poor little ol' Canada, Canadians have been in a feverish uproar. How dare he? That horrible bully! And rather than look to their leaders (in this case, the venerable Justin Trudeau) for possible causes for the tariff, they rally 'round the maple leaf flag and cry out about American hostility. Down with America! Up with Canada, O Canada, We Stand on Guard for Thee!
That'll show 'em!
Only it won't. Not even close.
Comment: Good. This may free up positions for young, eager American grad students interested in doing actual science rather than activism.