
© Waterford Whispers News
THE office of former British prime minister Tony Blair has urged people to stop posting in small bottles of poison, as there is no more room left after several tonnes of various types of deadly liquids have been delivered in the post over the past two days.
Over 40,000 parcels were handled by staff at the 64-year-old's business address in London, the senders spurred on by news on Wednesday that Bosnian-Croat warlord, Slobodan Praljak, downed an unknown substance moments after his 20-year sentence for war crimes was upheld. Praljak died shortly afterwards.
"Seriously, if Tony was to kill himself, it would be fast and painless," a spokesperson rightfully pointed out, "and anyway, if he was ever convicted of war crimes, he wouldn't get anywhere near a 20-year sentence - Tony is way too wealthy and British for that kind of thing to happen to him in this day and age".
Comment: Try as they might, the Vegan fascists will never be able to pry the bacon from the hands of the general public. It's just too good! And it's good for you!
- How packaging covers up the truth about bacon's fatty glory
- Eat more bacon: Study finds vegetarian diet can cause cancer
- Veggies worse for the environment than baconYet another study vindicates saturated fat
- New study finds wheat and carbs biggest risk for heart disease, red meat and saturated fat has no direct effect
- The rise and fall of the low-fat guidelines: Saturated fat is good for you!
And apparently it also makes a handy weapon, in a pinch: 86-year-old woman beats off robber with a package of bacon