Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Mr. Potato

Feeling Left Out of Popular Victimhood Culture? Pre-made Status Updates For Jumping on The #MeToo Bandwagon


Sott.net
Tue, 16 Jan 2018 10:32 UTC
me too
© unknownNo one knows who this dude is, but his face makes a great meme!
Did you miss out on the #IceBucketChallenge? Still confused about how to #Plank properly? Is it no longer trendy to put an opaque rainbow flag over your profile picture? Do you have just enough common sense not to eat laundry detergent pods on Youtube?

Well, fear not! There is a new social media trend sweeping the internet that you too can join, in order to feel included with the masses.

It's called #MeToo, and anyone can do it!

Even if you've never actually been harassed or assaulted. Even if all your romantic encounters have been fairly benign. Even if you have deep understanding of complex issues that surround the mating rituals between men and women. You can now cast all that aside with these handy - ready to use - #MeToo status updates.

Just plug one of the following phrases into your Facebook newsfeed or Twitter update and bask in the warm glow of perpetual victimhood, as all your self-righteous social media "friends" join in faux-sympathy to congratulate your courage for speaking out.
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Network

BadDay.mpg: One of the internet's first viral videos has a heck of a history

Joe Veix
Wired
Fri, 12 Jan 2018 10:00 UTC
viral computer smashing
© Erik Dreyer/Getty ImagesBack when video of Vinny Licciardi smashing a computer zigzagged all over the internet, "viral" wan't even a thing yet.
You've seen the video. Everyone on the internet has. A man sits in a cubicle and pounds his keyboard in frustration. A few seconds later, the Angry Man picks up the keyboard and swings it like a baseball bat at his screen-it's an old PC from the '90s, with a big CRT monitor-whacking it off the desk. A frightened coworker's head pops up over the cubicle wall, just in time to watch the Angry Man get up and kick the monitor across the floor. Cut to black.

The clip began to circulate online, mostly via email, in 1997. Dubbed "badday.mpg," it's likely one of the first internet videos ever to go viral. Sometimes GIFs of it still float across Twitter and Facebook feeds. (Most memes barely have a shelf life of 20 minutes, let alone 20 years.)

Beyond its impressive resilience, it's also unexpectedly significant as the prime mover of viral videos. In one clip, you can find everything that's now standard in the genre, like a Lumière brothers film for the internet age: the surveillance footage aesthetic, the sub-30-second runtime, the angry freakout in a typically staid setting, the unhinged destruction of property.
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Smiley

What should Putin hack next in 2018?


RT
Sat, 30 Dec 2017 12:30 UTC
Putin
© Anatoly Maltsev/Pool / Reuters
Following a wildly successful 2016, in which he single-handedly convinced nearly 63 million Americans to vote for Donald Trump, 2017 was a bit of a down year for Russian President Vladimir Putin. So what should he hack in 2018?

United States midterm elections

There's so much to hack here it's hard to know where to start. As well as all 435 seats in the House of Representatives, 33 Senate seats will be up for grabs while gubernatorial races will be held in 36 states.

No doubt a crack team of Russian hackers is already busy working away on whatever outcome Putin has decided upon. He already hacked the White House, why not hack all the other houses too?

Comment: Any other suggestions?

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Smiley

Jonathan Pie: Oprah for US president! Really?


Jonathan Pie
Thu, 11 Jan 2018 13:31 UTC
Oprah for president 2020
Oprah Winfrey, the American queen of TV talk shows, is reportedly set to run for the US presidency. Intrepid UK News reporter Jonathan Pie asks; is this the end of American politics?

Warning: contains strong language


Comment: Oprah For 2020 Prez: Another Liberal Delusion

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Smiley

Poroshenko gets owned twice in 3 weeks by Russian pranksters (VIDEO)

Leo Standish
Russia Insider
Thu, 11 Jan 2018 14:02 UTC
poroshenko sad depressed
"Wow, it's a great pleasure and honor to hear you. Happy New Year, Jens, I'm so glad to hear your voice." - a tipsy Poroshenko on New Year's Eve, thinking he was talking to the head of NATO.

Nikki Haley isn't the only Russophobe to be played a fool by Russian pranksters, now Poroshenko takes his turn, on more than one occasion.

Poroshenko reveals that he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.
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Oscar

Golden Globe red carpet fashion: Unisex jumpsuits keep the focus on actors' work


The Onion
Mon, 13 Jan 2014 16:57 UTC
Golden Globes
Pundits from across the entertainment industry are hailing the fashion requirements put in place at last night's Golden Globes as a resounding success, agreeing that the Hollywood Foreign Press' mandate that all celebrities wear identical gray full-body unisex jumpsuits achieved the intended goal of refocusing the ceremony on the craft of acting and filmmaking.

"The spirit of the Golden Globes has always been about celebrating individuals' achievements in film and television, not their physical appearance or wardrobe, and the hundreds of required one-size-fits-all bodysuits worn last night certainly helped redirect attention to where it's due," said E! correspondent Kristina Guerrero of the compulsory gender-neutral garments that Hollywood A-listers were obligated to wear as they filed in a straight line down the red carpet, sans makeup, at precise intervals.
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Mr. Potato

Very cheeky! Commuters bare bottoms for 'No Pants Subway Ride'


RT
Mon, 08 Jan 2018 13:30 UTC
Commuters
© Ruptly
Hundreds of people braved wintry conditions on Sunday to celebrate the 'No Pants Subway Ride,' a yearly event which sees commuters forgo trousers on public transport.

The comical event, which first began in the US, saw scores of people jettison trousers, skirts and shorts in favor of simply wearing underpants on their lower half during train rides in the cities of Amsterdam, Berlin, Prague, New York and London and more.

The Stiff Upper Lipp Society organized the London outing, during which more than 300 people gathered on a cold day in Westminster before hopping on the underground.
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Gold Bar

€1.3mn gold-plated vodka bottle stolen - Bottle found intact at building site, drained of vodka


RT
Fri, 05 Jan 2018 17:38 UTC
€1.3 million vodka bottle
© Scanpix Denmark / Brian Ingberg / Reuters
A €1.3 million vodka bottle, said to be the world's most expensive, has been recovered at a building site in Denmark. While the stolen bottle is intact the contents has been downed.

The one-of-a-kind bottle, made from 13lb (6kg) of gold and silver mixed together with a diamond studded cap, was reported stolen from Cafe 33 in Vesterbro, Copenhagen Tuesday night.

The Russo Baltique vodka bottle, famous for its appearance in the Netflix TV series 'House of Cards,' was recovered intact Friday, according to Copenhagen police.

The bottle is now in the possession of the police after a member of the public found it on a building site in Charlottenlund - a suburban area on the coast, 10km (6 miles) north of Copenhagen.

Comment: Somewhere in Denmark there is a drunk thief who just read this story and is right now banging his head against a wall.

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Phoenix

Little dog lives to bark her tale after being snatched by an eagle

Michael Rubinkam
Associated Press
Thu, 04 Jan 2018 12:44 UTC
zoey bichon frise
© facebook
Felipe Rodriguez says he thought he was hallucinating when an eagle snatched his sister's little white dog from her yard, flapped its massive wings and disappeared over the trees.

Did he really just see that?

He had. Zoey the 8-pound bichon frise was gone, taken by a hungry raptor Tuesday afternoon not 50 feet from his sister's house on the banks of the Lehigh River in Pennsylvania, Rodriguez said.

"It seemed like something from the 'Wizard of Oz,'" he told The Associated Press on Wednesday. "I'm a city boy. This doesn't happen in my world."

Even more astonishing: Zoey would live to bark the tale.

More on that later. But first, let it be said that eagles are quite capable of taking a small dog or a cat.

"It has been documented before, but not that often," said Laurie Goodrich, a biologist at nearby Hawk Mountain Sanctuary, a ridgetop preserve that annually records tens of thousands of migrating hawks, eagles and falcons.

With food scarce and waterways freezing up, raptors are "looking a little more widely and taking advantage of whatever might be out there," she said.

Rodriguez said he was by himself at his sister's home in Bowmanstown, about 80 miles (128 kilometers) north of Philadelphia, and Zoey was playing in the fenced yard when he heard a loud screech, hurried to the door and looked out.

Comment: One very lucky pooch! Then again, being the 'chatty' dogs they are, she probably talked her way out of it.

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Snowman

Waggy New Year! Russian Armed Forces show off their canine colleagues


RT
Tue, 02 Jan 2018 17:26 UTC
Russian armed forces dogs
© MoD Russia/ You Tube
In their New Year's video, the Russian Armed Forces show off their canine colleagues, who seem to be just as happy giving a friendly lick as defending the Motherland.

Russia has long prided itself on the bravery and skill of its armed forces, but behind the 'Spetsnaz' commandos and state-of-the-art weaponry, there's also a side of the military we don't always see.

On Monday, the Russian Ministry of Defense released its New Year's video, in which its latest batch of recruits wished everyone a very happy 2018. In the video, they run and jump their way through unforgiving terrain to the sound of patriotic marching music, stopping only to get tasty treats and belly rubs.

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