Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Cult

Priest to hold nun beauty pageant

An Italian priest says he is organising the world's first beauty pageant for nuns to erase a stereotype of them as being old and dour. Antonio Rungi says The Miss Sister Italy online contest will start on his blog in September.

"Nuns are above all women and beauty is a gift from God," he told Italy's Corriere della Sera newspaper. He is asking nuns to send their photos to him, saying that internet users will then choose the winner.

Eye 1

Satire? 6-Year-Old Stares Down Bottomless Abyss Of Formal Schooling

CARPENTERSVILLE, IL - Local first-grader Connor Bolduc, 6, experienced the first inkling of a coming lifetime of existential dread Monday upon recognizing his cruel destiny to participate in compulsory education for the better part of the next two decades, sources reported.

Sheeple

Mysterious Packages In Pennsylvania Turn Out To Be Gifts

YORK - Police were called to investigate a mysterious gift-wrapped object with wires coming out of it -- and discovered a remote control car that was left anonymously as a genuine present.

Einstein

Bear wins 2nd place in art contest

RAPID CITY, South Dakota - You have to wonder if the paint brushes were coated with honey.

Bear Painting
©Unknown

Better Earth

Japanese team on yeti quest in Nepal

A team of Japanese adventurers hope to prove the existence of the mysterious yeti in Nepal's mountains, focusing on an area they are convinced is home to the legendary creature.

Tales of a huge half-man-half-ape roaming the high Himalayas are as old as the hills, and local Sherpa stories about the hairy giant have gripped the imaginations of Western adventurers and mountaineers for decades.

Takahashi Yoshiteru, 65, and six other Japanese team members are trekking to Dhaulagiri IV, a 7,661-metre (25,135-foot) peak where they say they have seen traces of the beast on past trips in 1994 and 2003.

Pistol

Florida Deputies Taser Run Away Emu



Emu
©Unknown

Plop-plop was raised right, as a beloved pet emu in a good home. But a hard storm and a low fence tossed her into the mean world, where she was lead astray, fought the law, and, well, we all know how that ends.

Sheriff's deputies and animal control officers spent a few days responding to sightings of the bird. Plop-plop even was reported chasing cars along U.S. 231. But on Monday, the bird found itself stuck in a pasture with the law close behind.

Question

Pair sentenced after correcting grammar on Canyon sign

Two self-described "grammar vigilantes" from the East Coast are being banned from national parks for a year and fined $3,035 after altering a historic sign at the Grand Canyon.

Smiley

Blind Frenchman fined for drunk driving

A blind journalist was given a month's suspended jail sentence and fined 500 euros (750 dollars) by a French court Friday for driving while drunk and without a license.

The owner of the car, who was also drunk as he sat next to the blind man when he drove the vehicle, was given the same sentence and had his license suspended for five months by the court in the northeastern town of Nancy.

Heart

Bear steals hubcap from car - then gives it back

A black bear surprised visitors to a safari park by stealing a hubcap from a car and then offering it to a woman driver.

bear
©PA
Bear steals hubcap at Woburn Safari Park, which stole a hubcap off a car, then took it over to the lady in car behind

Magic Hat

Meet Yoda the cat with FOUR ears

If Batman had a cat, it would probably look something like this.

The household pet, named Yoda, was born with an extra set of ears.

yoda the cat
©Barcroft Media
A good listener: Two-year-old house cat Yoda was born with four ears