Welcome to Sott.net
Thu, 17 Oct 2019
The World for People who Think

Don't Panic! Lighten Up!


Hundreds attend wedding ceremony for two frogs in India

frog marriage
For the past three weeks, temperatures have been sweltering in India. The searing heat isn't just uncomfortable, it's also deadly. So far, approximately 76 people have died from the heatwave which has reached 50 C in some regions.

Hopeful to put an end to the burdensome weather, hundreds of Indian citizens gathered for a wedding between two frogs. The ceremony, called "Mandooka Parinaya," was held to appease the rain gods in an attempt to put an end to the drought.

According to the Times of India, the event began with volunteers catching a group of frogs in two different areas of the city. After being inspected by the Department of Zoology in Manipal, the betrothed were chosen. Varuna and Varsha were named after the god of water and the rainy season.


Jonathan Pie: The race to number 10

Tory leadership contest cartoon
© Nicola Jennings
Intrepid UK news reporter Jonathan Pie looks at all the runners as the race begins to win the keys to power.

Warning: contains strong language

Bad Guys

'When has the government ever lied about attacks on ships in a gulf somewhere just to provoke war?' - John Bolton

Gulf of Oman Tanker on Fire
© Babylon Bee
U.S.-After top U.S. officials claimed Iran attacked ships in the Gulf of Oman this week, John Bolton held a press conference where he asked when the government has ever lied about something like this just to start a war.

"When has the government ever lied about ships being attacked, say in a gulf somewhere, for the purpose of getting involved in another foreign conflict?" he asked. "Can you point to a single time a lie about a minor attack resulted in a major unnecessary war? No, I didn't think so," he said.


50-foot dead parrot placed in Potters Field Park as London celebrates Monty Python reunion

monty python dead parrot
The Monty Python reunion in London began on July 1, and after a 10-day break, picks up again tonight at the O2 Arena for the final five nights that will see Eric Idle, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin on the same stage together, doing silly things one more time. Of course, it's not all silliness - the first five-night run of the performance raised more than £20,000 for five different charities chosen by the Python members, by giving those charities the opportunity to auction off the right to perform in a sketch alongside the cast.

Comment: A few details from LondonSE1:
Three sculptors worked for more than two months to design, construct and paint the giant bird inspired by the famous 'dead parrot' sketch.

"We are all Monty Python fans so we were delighted to receive the brief from Gold to recreate the mythical 'Norwegian Blue' on a giant scale," said lead sculptor Iain Prendergast.

"We watched both live and televised versions of the sketch and found that there have been a number of different incarnations of the parrot with a variety of different plumages.

"Our sculpture provides a colourful hybrid of the dead parrots which have featured in the celebrated sketch.

"The key challenge for us was capturing the comedy value of the dead parrot, keeping the realism of the bird whilst also adding touches like the bloodshot, 'stunned' eyes."

Steve North, general manager of Gold, said: "We believe that our giant dead parrot provides a fitting tribute to a sketch that is so loved by audiences throughout the world. We hope that fans will join us for the final Monty Python performance this Sunday to see Britain's greatest ever comedy group bow out in style."


Vatican announces new changes to the Lord's prayer

Pope Francis
© Babylon Bee
Known worldwide as 'The Lord's Prayer' and one of the Catholic Church's best-loved prayers, the Our Father was officially changed last week following a decision by Pope Francis, who insisted that the original prayer did not fit into modern times.

The pope said he thought the English translation of the prayer was not up to politically correct standards, with the new look prayer now covering all aspects of society, law, culture and faith.

The Vatican officially released The Lord's Prayer version 2.0 earlier this morning. Please find the revised prayer below:


Stunned Finnish Coast Guard spots '3-headed sea monster'... turns out to be a 'Russian yacht'

Three headed serpent boat
© Twitter / Finnish Coast Guard / Merivartiosto
Finland's Coast Guard sent a patrol boat to inspect a peculiar "three-headed sea monster" making its way thought the mist along the nation's border. However, the mysterious object was not quite a deep-sea creature.

The Coast Guard officers were in for a surprise when they noticed an unusual vessel traversing the foggy waters of the Gulf of Finland on Sunday. Due to poor visibility, it was hard to tell what type of a ship it was, so a patrol boat was dispatched to check it out.

The vessel turned out to be a Russian yacht with three large dragon heads on its hull, the Coast Guard told local media. The stunned officers snapped a picture of the yacht and shared it on social media, describing the vessel as "a three-headed sea monster."


Giant 'Yoshi the Fish' helps keep Indian beach clean

fish sculpture beach trash
© Mangalorean.com
Yoshi the plastic-eating fish
As some rumours swirl around the internet that there will be more plastic than fish by 2050, there are also some great stories about local recycling, like this one about Yoshi The Fish.

This local beach in India decided to do something simple, instead of just placing a ton of boring old garbage cans around the beach.

This unique concept was created by artist and sculptor Janardhan Havanje.

Made of iron rods, it cost him nearly Rs 45,000 (£495/$646/€572), to make this 10ft/3m by 8ft/2.44m sculpture-which is filled with plastic waste collected on the beach during the campaign. A sign was added added to it that said "Yoshi loves plastic, please feed him".

The key to the success was that kids had no pleasure in recycling plastics into those old crusty blue bins, but when it turned into a game where they had to "feed" Yoshi it just took off.

Yoshi to this day is constantly being fed, and most of the times he actually gets more than he he needs for a days meal. He's usually taken away by the city overnight to empty all his plastic that he's eaten, and then brought back the next morning with an empty stomach so people can continue to feed him again and again.

My question is, why is there not a Yoshi on every single beach in this country!?


Key asset: Police dog sniffs out car keys lost in woman's backyard

Police dog finds lost keys

A Nanaimo RCMP search last Wednesday uncovered Kix Citton’s lost keys on her central Nanaimo property.
Nanaimo RCMP happened to be doing police dog training at the exact time and place to be of great help to a local resident.

A search last Wednesday uncovered Kix Citton's lost keys on her central Nanaimo property.

Police were training in the area that day and when they advised Citton of their activities there, she jokingly asked if they could find her keys, which she was pretty sure she had lost in her backyard.

"Searching for keys in [her] backyard is not an easy task as it consists of a variety of plants, shrubs, some weeds, thick and thorny rose bushes and a multitude of strawberry bushes," noted an RCMP press release.

She had given up looking and already made trips to BCAA, her car dealership and a locksmith.


Google deploys squads to destroy offensive books, videos, websites

Google Squad
© Babylon Bee
It looks like Google is adding hundreds of jobs to Silicon Valley, as its newly opened book-burning division is looking to hire firemen.

These firemen don't put out fires, but rather, they destroy books, videos, information, and anything else that contradicts a far-left world-view. They utilize fire at 451 degrees Fahrenheit. Google's robotics division has also reportedly developed a Mechanical Hound designed to sniff out resistance to its totalitarian destruction of offensive content.

Google listed several hundred available positions in the company's new "Firehouse" department. The listing posted on Google's Careers page is replicated below:


Curious shark checks out swimmer at Panama City, Florida beach

Swimming with sharks in FL
© Stan Battles
A woman swimming off the shoreline of Panama City Beach got a bit too close for comfort to a pretty big shark and someone in a nearby hotel captured the close encounter on video.

According to the Panama City News Herald, the video was shot by Stan Battles from the 28th floor of his beachside resort. It shows the shark checking out the swimmer in the Gulf of Mexico as she swims through water. It appears there is nobody else around.

Battles told the paper he'd been watching the shark swim around in the muck and sea grass, staying mostly hidden, until the swimmer came along. The shark kept a wide circle around her, and at one point, swims far ahead of her and turns around heading back in her direction. She apparently didn't realize she had a follower.