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Wed, 28 Sep 2016
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Black lives don't matter rules US Supreme Court

© Waterford Whispers News
The long running legal challenge by US citizens to have American society confirm that black lives matter has failed in the US Supreme Court, with 5 Supreme Court Justices voting to confirm that on all available evidence, they simply don't matter.

"Eh, nice try, but come on, we watch the news so we know they don't matter," one Supreme Court Justice is believed to have remarked while discussing the court's ruling, "a ruling to the contrary would just be giving African Americans false hope, and that's cruel".

"While there was a wealth of evidence presented as part of US citizen's challenge, it just didn't cut it when countered with instances of African Americans being shot by police officers on a regular basis with no action taken," legal expert Roland Dempsey shared with WWN shortly before being shot by police on suspicion of being black.

President Obama expressed disappointment at the decision, which will directly affect him after the upcoming presidential election, when his current status of 'president' will be downgraded to 'African American'.

Smiley

6 links that totally destroy any credibility Corbyn has left

© Peter Nicholls / Reuters
Jeremy Corbyn
How the mighty have fallen. Just a few weeks ago, Stalinist firebrand, Jeremy Corbyn, was the Golden Boy of the British Left.

But now, Corbyn is coming under fire for his alleged links to extremists and racists.

Corbyn has already confessed that he's been in the same room as people who've gone on to say bad things.

But it doesn't stop there. Here, on this blog, we can exclusively reveal 6 more links Corbyn doesn't want you to know about.

Black Cat 2

6-month-old kitten turns on faucet, floods animal shelter in Florida

© Antonio Ciufo/Getty Images
Mischieveous kitty
A cat came with a flood warning when it was adopted from a Florida animal shelter.

Officials at the Florida Humane Society in Pompano Beach told the Miami Herald that one of its cats turned on a faucet last week, leaving the water to run for 17 hours.

President Carol Ebert says the flooding caused water to run out the shelter's back door. No animals were injured, but the shelter is seeking donations to repair floors, cabinets and other damage estimated around $5,000.

Volunteer Terry Arbour says the shelter suspects a 6-month-old kitten known to play in the sinks.

The cat's name was not released. Arbour says the cat was recently adopted and its new owners were told it was "intelligent enough to turn on water faucets."

Target

Iranian 'Hulk' signs up to help crush ISIS in Syria

© sajadgharibii / Instagram
Iran could be set to unleash a weapon of mass destruction on Islamic State fighters - in the form of 24-stone super soldier Sajad Gharibi. His monster physique has seen him compared to comic book hero 'The Hulk'.

Gharibi can reportedly lift loads of up to 175kg (386lb) and in recent months amassed a huge following via social media, posting pictures of himself lifting large iron weights.

The 24-year-old giant has now announced his intention to fight terrorism by stepping in to help Bashar Assad's forces crush Islamic State (IS, formerly ISIS/ISIL) in Syria, report BBC Persian.

Also referred to as the 'Persian Hercules', Gharibi reportedly revealed his decision to join his nation's military support for the Assad regime on Instagram.

Smiley

Euro 2016: David Cameron ridiculed by Welsh fans after his pretend support for Wales

Ex-British Prime Minister David Cameron found himself a victim of abuse from Wales fans after congratulating the country on their victory over Belgium on Friday night.

The Welsh national side shocked the footballing world after making it into the semi-final stage of the Euros by beating a team brimming with talent, such as the likes of Eden Hazard, Romelu Lukaku and Kevin de Bruyne.

They would end up 3-1 victors on the night, and while Wales fans appreciate all the support they can get, Cameron's congratulatory message was met with a concerted backlash.

Prior to the game, the Prime Minister tweeted:
PM: Huge game for Wales tonight at #EURO2016. You are doing the home nations proud - best of luck, we are all right behind you @FAWales #WAL

— UK Prime Minister (@Number10gov) July 1, 2016

Smiley

John Oliver on Trump university

© Unknown
Trump University LLC (formerly the Trump Wealth Institute; later named Trump Entrepreneur Initiative LLC) was an American for-profit education company that ran a real estate training program from 2005 until at least 2010. After multiple lawsuits, it is now defunct. It was founded by Donald Trump and his associates, Michael Sexton and Jonathan Spitalny, in 2004. The company offered courses in real estate, asset management, entrepreneurship, and wealth creation, charging fees ranging from $1,500 to $35,000 per course.

Smiley

A message to terrorists from the red, white and blue

Remy channels his inner Toby Keith to send terrorists a message. You will be spied on and have your balls groped until the US catches the last terrorist. Written and performed by Remy. Music tracks and background vocals by Ben Karlstrom. Produced and edited by Austin Bragg.

Cupcake Pink

Birthday surprise: Bear crashes through Alaskan family's skylight, eats the birthday cupcakes


Alicia Bishop holds the cupcakes that a bear licked the frosting off of in front of woodland-themed birthday party decor inside her Starr Hill home on Saturday.
Bear and cupcakes sounds like the most unusual combination ever, but not in Alaska! A young male black bear randomly crashed through the Alaskan family's skylight while a birthday party was going on.

The little boy named Jackson, was hardly expecting such a surprise visit. When the bear fell into the party they both stared at each other 'in disbelief', while people raced out of the room.

Jackson's grandparents grabbed him and raced upstairs. However, the bear didn't run or attack anyone because the big guy was actually more interested in the birthday cupcakes!

He stayed in the room for some time to eat the family's lemon, blueberry and peanut butter cupcakes. When the home owners finally got the bear out, he casually strolled out of the house.

Smiley

Not satire: Kadyrov aide to be recruited through Chechen reality TV show

© Sputnik
Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov will recruit a new aide through an Apprentice-style reality television show, state channel Rossiya-1 announced on June 30.

Rossiya said candidates for The Team show must be ready and willing to work 24 hours a day and have ideas for developing the Caucasus republic, which endured two brutal separatist wars with Russia.

Contestants will face challenges such as climbing mountains as well as "experiencing Chechen hospitality and traditions to the full degree," the broadcaster said.

An introductory episode on June 30 showed a young man with an eager look on his face gasping for breath after laboring through an obstacle course used for training Chechen police.

Kadyrov will select the winning candidate himself with the help of a jury and give him or her a job as head of the Strategic Development Agency, Rossiya said.

Comment: If there's one thing to say about Kadyrov, he's always entertaining!

Given the popularity of TV shows like American Idol in the States, the U.S. might be better served by replacing their electoral system with a reality show. It would certainly be more entertaining than the primaries...


Penis Pump

Ted Cruz: "I will endorse Donald Trump for President if he makes masturbation illegal"

U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) sent shockwaves through the Republican Party today when he announced that he would endorse Donald Trump for President, but only if the GOP nominee would be willing to publicly support a ban on masturbation. The Senator called this 'The single most important issue facing the country today' and that without 'swift action by the next President the country was doomed to slide down a slippery slope of debauchery and self-satisfaction'.

"Self-love is a silent killer in this country. This needless act of hedonistic indulgence is leading our children down a dark and destructive path. It starts innocently enough with a JC Penney catalogue tucked under your mattress, but it quickly spirals out of control, and before you know it, your mother has to call the coroner because you've died from auto-erotic asphyxiation. I'm not saying that we should lock up these one armed bandits and throw away the key; what we need is a compassionate approach that helps these deviants reform and become productive members of society. That is why I believe a prison sentence of three to five years will help motivate these heathens to change their evil ways and stay off the Devil's playground for good," Cruz said. "I'm asking Mr. Trump to acknowledge the severity of this problem, and commit to finding real solutions. If he does that, I will do whatever it takes to help him secure the White House in November. Should Mr. Trump decline, I think it's safe to say that all options, including a third party run, are out on the table."

Donald Trump told ABC News that he was open to the idea, though he refused to take a clear stand.

"Look, do I think Senator Cruz is right about this? You know, maybe he is. To be honest, I don't know a lot about taking care of your own business down there. I don't need to. I'm an amazing lover, the best lover, and I literally have women lined up around the block to be with me. I could have any woman I wanted, so there is no need to for me to be grabbing at very large and not at all inadequate straws. But I do think this business about playing with your own business could have national security implications. My people are going to sit down and look hard and this situation and find a great answer for it, the best answer there is."

Comment: One has to wonder, if this ban was ever (in a insane world) passed, how exactly would this be policed?