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Tue, 22 May 2018
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Oscar

Fallon parodies upcoming 'Fake News Awards'

reekingnews
© Unknown
Late night host Jimmy Fallon on Tuesday ridiculed President Trump ahead of his planned "Fake News Awards," offering an over-the-top take on what the ceremony might look like.

Fallon appeared on Tuesday's Tonight Show decked out in full-Trump attire and proceeded to dole out honors for categories ranging from "Fakest Cable News Network" to "Failing-est Newspaper."

"Welcome to the Fake News Awards, which are totally real, unlike the really fake news, which is fake and not real," Fallon said. "For real."


Smiley

Montrealer creates parked DeLorean snow sculpture - police confused

snow delaurean montreal
A photo has been going viral on reddit and we simply had to share it with you.

As we all know, during snow removal you can't park on certain sides of the street, so one Montrealer decided to use this as an opportunity to confuse the hell out of the cops.

They sculpted what seems to be a DeLorean entirely out of snow in a residential street in Montreal-North.

Family

No joke! President John Tyler, born 1790, has two living grandsons

President John Tyler living grandsons
© UniversalImagesGroup/Getty Images
President John Tyler
Okay, we know you aren't going to believe this, but it's true: John Tyler, the 10th President of the United States, has two grandchildren that are still living today. IT'S TRUE, WE SWEAR. Tyler served as President from 1841 to 1845 and has two grandchildren who are still alive some 173 years later.

Matt Smethurst tweeted the fun fact on Tuesday:

But how could this be possible? Well, it turns out the answer is simpler than you think. President Tyler just never stopped having children. When he died in 1862, he had 15 children. The youngest of those 15 kids remarried and had children late in their lives, which resulted in our current situation.

Nuke

'Accidentally shifted to an alternative reality in 2012' admit CERN scientists

CERN Scientist
© Waterford Whispers News
Scientists at the European Organization for Nuclear Research, CERN, have admitted today to ending the world as we know it back in 2012, while performing experiments into the Higgs boson particle, WWN can confirm.

Speaking at the research facility in Switzerland today, several key scientists apologised for what they're calling a "terrible accident that has only come to light now".

The particle discovery capped decades of theory and was an important triumph for the Large Hadron Collider, however, recent experiments carried out by the LHC team have confirmed that not only did they successfully observe a particle consistent with the Higgs boson, but they inadvertently shifted the entire planet into an alternate reality in doing so, ending the previous model.

Mr. Potato

Feeling Left Out of Popular Victimhood Culture? Pre-made Status Updates For Jumping on The #MeToo Bandwagon

me too
© unknown
No one knows who this dude is, but his face makes a great meme!
Did you miss out on the #IceBucketChallenge? Still confused about how to #Plank properly? Is it no longer trendy to put an opaque rainbow flag over your profile picture? Do you have just enough common sense not to eat laundry detergent pods on Youtube?

Well, fear not! There is a new social media trend sweeping the internet that you too can join, in order to feel included with the masses.

It's called #MeToo, and anyone can do it!

Even if you've never actually been harassed or assaulted. Even if all your romantic encounters have been fairly benign. Even if you have deep understanding of complex issues that surround the mating rituals between men and women. You can now cast all that aside with these handy - ready to use - #MeToo status updates.

Just plug one of the following phrases into your Facebook newsfeed or Twitter update and bask in the warm glow of perpetual victimhood, as all your self-righteous social media "friends" join in faux-sympathy to congratulate your courage for speaking out.

Network

BadDay.mpg: One of the internet's first viral videos has a heck of a history

viral computer smashing
© Erik Dreyer/Getty Images
Back when video of Vinny Licciardi smashing a computer zigzagged all over the internet, "viral" wan't even a thing yet.
You've seen the video. Everyone on the internet has. A man sits in a cubicle and pounds his keyboard in frustration. A few seconds later, the Angry Man picks up the keyboard and swings it like a baseball bat at his screen-it's an old PC from the '90s, with a big CRT monitor-whacking it off the desk. A frightened coworker's head pops up over the cubicle wall, just in time to watch the Angry Man get up and kick the monitor across the floor. Cut to black.

The clip began to circulate online, mostly via email, in 1997. Dubbed "badday.mpg," it's likely one of the first internet videos ever to go viral. Sometimes GIFs of it still float across Twitter and Facebook feeds. (Most memes barely have a shelf life of 20 minutes, let alone 20 years.)

Beyond its impressive resilience, it's also unexpectedly significant as the prime mover of viral videos. In one clip, you can find everything that's now standard in the genre, like a Lumière brothers film for the internet age: the surveillance footage aesthetic, the sub-30-second runtime, the angry freakout in a typically staid setting, the unhinged destruction of property.

Smiley

What should Putin hack next in 2018?

Putin
© Anatoly Maltsev/Pool / Reuters
Following a wildly successful 2016, in which he single-handedly convinced nearly 63 million Americans to vote for Donald Trump, 2017 was a bit of a down year for Russian President Vladimir Putin. So what should he hack in 2018?

United States midterm elections

There's so much to hack here it's hard to know where to start. As well as all 435 seats in the House of Representatives, 33 Senate seats will be up for grabs while gubernatorial races will be held in 36 states.

No doubt a crack team of Russian hackers is already busy working away on whatever outcome Putin has decided upon. He already hacked the White House, why not hack all the other houses too?

Comment: Any other suggestions?


Smiley

Jonathan Pie: Oprah for US president! Really?

Oprah for president 2020
Oprah Winfrey, the American queen of TV talk shows, is reportedly set to run for the US presidency. Intrepid UK News reporter Jonathan Pie asks; is this the end of American politics?

Warning: contains strong language


Comment: Oprah For 2020 Prez: Another Liberal Delusion


Smiley

Poroshenko gets owned twice in 3 weeks by Russian pranksters (VIDEO)

poroshenko sad depressed
"Wow, it's a great pleasure and honor to hear you. Happy New Year, Jens, I'm so glad to hear your voice." - a tipsy Poroshenko on New Year's Eve, thinking he was talking to the head of NATO.

Nikki Haley isn't the only Russophobe to be played a fool by Russian pranksters, now Poroshenko takes his turn, on more than one occasion.

Poroshenko reveals that he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

Oscar

Golden Globe red carpet fashion: Unisex jumpsuits keep the focus on actors' work

Golden Globes
Pundits from across the entertainment industry are hailing the fashion requirements put in place at last night's Golden Globes as a resounding success, agreeing that the Hollywood Foreign Press' mandate that all celebrities wear identical gray full-body unisex jumpsuits achieved the intended goal of refocusing the ceremony on the craft of acting and filmmaking.

"The spirit of the Golden Globes has always been about celebrating individuals' achievements in film and television, not their physical appearance or wardrobe, and the hundreds of required one-size-fits-all bodysuits worn last night certainly helped redirect attention to where it's due," said E! correspondent Kristina Guerrero of the compulsory gender-neutral garments that Hollywood A-listers were obligated to wear as they filed in a straight line down the red carpet, sans makeup, at precise intervals.