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Thu, 27 Apr 2017
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Magic Wand

CrazyRussianHacker: Check out these 7 dog gadgets (Video)

CrazyRussianHacker is known on Youtube for his crazy experiments and testing different products.

In this latest installment, the hacker, along with his 2 adorable helpers test the latest in dog toys and gadgets.

Some of the products tested are a ball launcher, a cooling mat for summer time fun, a light up leash for night walks and bags to take on those walks to pick up after your dog.

Please be sure to check out safety ratings on any toys or gadgets you purchase.

Airplane

Obama greenlights one last drone strike 'for old times' sake'

© Waterford Whispers News
Outgoing American President Barack Obama has ordered one last drone strike this evening in an emotional goodbye to his 8 years in office.

Visiting the White House situation room for what is expected to be his last time, the teary eyed 55-year-old gazed into the freshly printed mission sheet, before greenlighting its proposed strike on an al Qaeda stronghold in Yemen, wiping a single tear from his cheek.

"I'm really going to miss this old place," he told his military personnel, who began relaying the strike order over the phone to a 24-year-old drone operator in Texas, "Bin Laden, Gaddafi, so many great memories we've had here, guys. Some sick ass shit, stuff I'll take with me the grave. Delicate stuff. Stuff I hope my predecessor has the balls carry out when the time arises", adding, "At least with Hillary, you know that crazy bitch would just blitz anything, no questions asked".

Watching the situation room's high resolution screen, Obama hummed the national anthem eerily in the background to the black and white images, streaming from the multimillion dollar unmanned aircraft, now flying to its target in Sana'a, West Yemen.

"Is that a school?" he asked, before then correcting himself, "ah, a mosk! I nearly shat myself there. It would be a bad week to kill kids; so close to Christmas, and that".

Timing his instruction 'engage target' to the peak of his Star Spangled Banner rendition, "O'er the land of the free...", the next former president of the United States of America climaxed the song as two AGM-114 Hellfire II air-to-ground missiles simultaneously pummelled the ground below.

"....and the home of the brave!", he finished, before bowing to his applauding peers.

TV

Top news bloopers of 2016

As 2016 draws to a close, there has been much reflection about how bumpy of a year it was: Wars continued, tragedies occurred across the country (and the world), the police state grew, and the US experienced one of the most heated and controversial election seasons in history.

So, perhaps a more light-hearted look at 2016 is in order, to balance things out.

Here are two compilations of some of the most hilarious news bloopers of the year, courtesy of News Be Funny Videos.

Cow

Woman rides jumping cow after being denied horse as a girl in New Zealand


Cowgirl
An 18-year-old in New Zealand has trained her cow to jump after being denied her own riding horse as a girl.

Hannah Simpson shared video of her 7-year-old Brown Swiss cow Lilac leaping over a large tree root on her family's farm.

"Here's a video, not the best but it'll do," she wrote.

Simpson's bond with Lilac began when she was 11 years old and her brother suggested she ride the six-month-old calf after her parents would not give her a horse, she told the New Zealand Herald.


Smiley

Kremlin names Trump employee of the month

© Evan Vucci/Associated Press
Moscow — Capping an extraordinary year for the former television host, the Kremlin has named Donald J. Trump its Employee of the Month for December.

"No one has worked more tirelessly for the glory of the Fatherland than Donald Trump," the Russian President Vladimir Putin said in an official statement. "He has set a high bar for all Kremlin employees, and for that, we salute him."

To mark the honor, Trump's name will be added to a plaque that hangs in the hallway outside the Kremlin's H.R. office.

According to Kremlin sources, Trump faced tough competition in the Employee of the Month voting, besting both Syrian President Bashar al-Assad and ExxonMobil's C.E.O., Rex Tillerson.

Speaking to reporters at his Mar-a-Lago estate, in Florida, Trump called the award "a tremendous honor, just tremendous."

"Obama was President for eight years and he didn't win this a single month," he said. "Loser."

Smiley

Cassetteboy: Brexit. 2016 review special (VIDEO)


Mashup artist Cassetteboy presents his take on one of the biggest news stories of the year, shining a humorous light on Brexit. The video lampoons a host of Conservative MPs - David Cameron, Boris Johnson, George Osborne, Michael Gove, Theresa May as well as Ukip's Nigel Farage - all of whom played a major role in the EU referendum.


Comment: Classic line: "In wealth and power, born and raised, crushing the poor is how we spend most of our days / We've cut public services across the nation, I've told people: Blame immigration!"


Comment: See also:


Mr. Potato

A new Ministry of Truth will protect Germany from Putin personally hacking their election




An end at last for fake news: Truth Ministry cleans up

As announced by the SPD party chair, Thomas Oppermann, the Federal Government will adopt a law against "fake news" in January in order to prevent Russia's massive influence on the Bundestag election in 2017, as expressed by the FAZ (Fakenews Allgemeine Zeitung) [F is for Frankfurt, FAZ is like NYT -tr.]

Explication is forthcoming.

Magic Wand

The man who looks after 735 dogs

© Asif Saud
Rakesh Shukla is a software engineer
Rakesh Shukla is a software engineer who's found his life's calling in looking after dogs that no-one wants, writes the BBC's Geeta Pandey in Bangalore.
The car pulled up outside a dusty farmhouse near the capital of the southern Indian state of Karnataka and suddenly dogs were everywhere, yelping and barking, jumping with joy.

Within seconds, they were all over Rakesh Shukla, nuzzling him and licking him, and Mr Shukla was as delighted to see them. He spoke to them, patted some, scratched one behind the ears, and lofted another onto his shoulder.

Then he gave me a tour of his three and a half acre farm. At last count, Mr Shukla had 735 dogs.

© Asif Saud
Mr Shukla said there were 735 dogs on the farm
© Asif Saud
He only takes in dogs that have no owner
There are Labradors on the farm, there are Golden Retrievers, Great Danes, Beagles, Dachshunds, Rottweilers, Saint Bernards and even a pug. There are hundreds of mongrels too.

Music

Putin to sing at Trump inauguration

© YouTube
After having difficulty persuading prominent entertainers to participate at the event, the Trump transition team announced on Sunday that the Russian President Vladimir Putin would sing at Donald J. Trump's Inauguration next month.

In a brief statement from the Kremlin, Putin said, "I will be most delighted to perform for my comrade."

The choice of Putin raised eyebrows in Washington, since the Russian, while famous for invading neighboring countries and imprisoning political opponents, is not particularly well known as a singer.

The Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway pushed back against such criticism during an appearance on CNN. "If we limited ourselves to people who had talent and experience, that would disqualify half of our Cabinet," she said.

Putin's choice of musical material also stirred controversy, as politicians on both sides of the aisle questioned his plan to perform the Russian national anthem.

According to those critics, the spectacle of Putin praising the glory and majesty of Russia in song would be inappropriate for the Inauguration of an American President.

In an attempt to quell that controversy, Putin said late on Sunday that he would instead serenade Trump by singing the Bette Midler classic, "Wind Beneath My Wings."

Arrow Down

Nature freaks scout forests in search of rare predator, Hillary Clinton


The Hillary Beast is known for its disarming grin, which usually precedes it consuming its prey.
The other day, Carol Meyer and her friend Ellen went walking in the woods of Chappaqua. For all they knew, they might see a coyote or some rare mushrooms or Hillary Clinton.

"I just have a sense — " said Ellen, putting on her gloves.

"You think so?" said Carol, adjusting her scarf.

A Clinton sighting was hardly unlikely. She and her husband were Chappaqua neighbors who enjoyed an invigorating, mind-clearing tromp in the local nature preserve as much as anyone else. And now, of course, she was back in town. Ellen had already seen her in the woods twice since she lost the presidency, and she wasn't the only one. Two days after the election, a young woman had spotted Clinton and taken a photo with her that went viral, leading to fake news stories alleging that the whole thing was staged, which was said to prove once again that Hillary Clinton couldn't do anything that did not strike a false note. But Chappaquaians knew better.

Comment: Yes, this is the depths to which the Washington Post has sunk. What a mindless, unimportant, trivial, and unintentionally hilarious piece of garbage.