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Tue, 30 Aug 2016
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Chewbacca mask mom is a viral video superstar


Chewbacca mask mom, Candace Payne.
Chew-HA HA HA.

Dallas-area mom, Candace Payne, has had the Internet in absolute hysterics with more than a whopping 135 million views on her Facebook live video simply trying on a Chewbacca toy mask in a parking lot. Her self-proclaimed birthday gift to herself has turned into a gift for the entire world after her infectious laugh went insanely viral as the most-viewed Facebook live video ever.

But now "Good Morning America" is learning the back story as to how Payne stumbled upon the now famous mask in the store, which she didn't intentionally seek out.

Camera

That awkward moment when eyeglasses left on the floor of a museum becomes art

Art is subjective, but still, this is just ridiculous.
When a 17-year-old soon-to-be college student named TJ Khayatan decided to check out some art at the Francisco Museum of Modern Art, he quickly realized a lot of stuff isn't exactly what most people would call "art".

Stormtrooper

Great disturbance in the Force as Donald Trump secures nomination

© News Thump
Popular Jedi Ben 'Obi-Wan' Kenobi has revealed that he felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices cried out in terror, at precisely the time Donald Trump secured the Republican presidential nomination.

"Well, it was just a normal day up to that point," explained Mr Kenobi.

"I was on the Millennium Falcon, trying to explain to Han Solo that a parsec was a unit of distance, not a unit of time, when all of a sudden I felt the disturbance in the Force."

Mr Kenobi went on to explain that it was one of the most powerful disturbances that he'd experienced.

"It wasn't quite as great a disturbance as the one I experienced when an entire planet was destroyed but it certainly wasn't far off."

Theoretical physicists have used hard sums and complicated equations to prove that paradoxically, although Mr Kenobi experienced the disturbance a long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, it also happened at exactly the same time that Donald Trump secured the Republican nomination.

Mr Kenobi was profoundly sympathetic to those affected.

He continued, "I can only feel great sadness for the creatures at the root of the disturbance, it as if their entire planet and way of life was under terrible threat.

"It's either that or George Lucas is making another prequel."

Bomb

War criminal insists that ground war needed to defeat ISIS

© Evening Standard
Bona fide war criminal, Tony Blair, has said that a ground war against Islamic State will make everything cool again.

Airstrikes alone are not enough claimed the former prime minister, who was recently hospitalised after prodding a hornet's nest with a large stick.

Blair said ISIS, otherwise known as Daesh or ISIL, had to be tackled before it decides to change its name again.

However, experts insist Blair is trying to deflect attention from the Chilcot report, which has taken more than eight years to place the words "murdering" and "c*nt" next to each other.

Blair said, "Thanks to Tony's war, Iraq is now a thriving, prosperous magnet for urban professionals who are hell bent on getting along with their neighbour.

"Thanks to my military adventures, the last mass slaughter on European soil was more than seven weeks ago.

"Seven whole weeks!"

He added: "We have learnt from the lessons of the past, and that lesson is basically to kill all the brown guys.

"It's that simple."

Black Cat 2

What's with cats and boxes?

© Valeriya/Getty Images
You can take a cat out of the box but — well, actually you probably shouldn’t try it.
It's well-established that cats freakin' love boxes.

Just ask any cat owner who's purchased a fancy cat-bed for their beloved pet, only to find the feline would rather curl up in the box.

Even big cats like lions and tigers are crazy about boxes. The question is, why?

Magic Wand

Amazing juggling mastery

A teenager exceeds all expectations through a variety of amazing juggling tricks, seemingly with no effort at all.

If you got it, flaunt it!


People 2

It's never too early to explain the elephants and the donkeys to your children

© MICHAEL B. THOMAS / AFP / GETTY
We live in a high-pressure democracy, one in which we want our children to be engaged and successful. But, on average, a child is exposed to twelve hundred and eighty-seven provocative political positions daily. With so many passionate pundits attempting to influence our kids, it's important that we educate them on safe political intercourse and the dangers of engaging in the process before they're ready.

It is commonly advised that parents avoid talking about political intercourse until a child is of age (which can vary from state to state). Some even believe that preëmptively educating children about the process will lead them to become politically active too soon, which may result in premature registration with a write-in political party. But the extensive research we've conducted here, at the Center for Safe Political Intercourse, shows it's never too early to explain the elephants and the donkeys to your children.

Below, we have compiled the questions most frequently asked by the preteens who took part in our study and some of the most effective answers offered by their parents. Let them serve as inspiration on your path to encourage your child to explore his or her politicality.

Heart

Still single and fear a Donald Trump presidency? There's a dating website for that!

© Kevin C. Cox andJoe Raedle
A new dating website is offering to pair Americans with Canadian singles to save them from a Donald Trump presidency.

MapleMatch.com promises love and a U.S. escape plan if Trump becomes commander-in-chief.

The website promises to "make dating great again," parodying the presumptive Republican presidential nominee's slogan.

"It's easy to say, 'This is just about Americans trying to find a way to get residency in Canada," CEO Joe Goldman said in an interview. "I think ... many Americans may be frustrated by the community that they're in or the dating pool they've had access to.

"Why not seek something different? Why not seek something Canadian?"

The Texas-based Goldman acknowledges that American have cried "We're moving to Canada" before, but he says Trump's divisive policy proposals -- like building a wall along the Mexican border and creating a national database of Muslims -- make the call of the north all the more real.

"The idealization of Canada by Americans has happened for a long time," he said. "I guess Americans might be excited about the potential of meeting someone who likes hockey and doesn't mind a little maple syrup in their pancakes."

While the dating service has yet to launch, its waitlist has already attracted over 4,200 sign-ups -- 70 per cent of them Canadian, according to Goldman.

Chalkboard

US adds followers of 'Al-gebra' to terror list

© News Thump
The United States has added followers of Islamic system Al-Gebra to its list of terror organisations today.

The move follows a narrow escape after a follower of Algebra was found practising his beliefs on an internal flight, leading to a security alert.

Founded by Mohammed al-Khwarizmi in Central Asia in the 9th century, Algebra has brought nothing but despair and misery ever since, especially during year 6 maths lessons.

Al-Gebra is described as an 'inhuman system' which teaches that everything can be replaced with a number.

Followers are expected to devote their lives to finding a mysterious and eternally unknowable entity known as 'X', a process which involves complex rituals and often a great deal of prayer.

A common Al-Gebra prayer is said to go "Oh, Jesus, this is impossible. Just please tell me what the hell X is."

Many children exposed to Al-Gebra report feelings of horror and anger, especially if it's just before P.E. Class.

"It's often quite easy to spot an Al-Gebra follower, as they tend to have a beard, leather patches on the elbows of their tweed jacket and smoke a pipe," we were told.

"Many play Dungeons and Dragons as well, and that's always a cause for concern.

"The public can be reassured that we have well-developed and robust algorithms to help us -

"Hang on. Algorithm? Al-Gorithm? Guy! Guys! I've found another one!"

Smiley

Scientific studies: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

© YouTube
John Oliver Details Why So Many Scientific Studies Are “Bullshit”
John Oliver discusses how and why media outlets so often report untrue or incomplete information as science.