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Wed, 13 Dec 2017
The World for People who Think

Don't Panic! Lighten Up!


Climate change obsession syndrome - Earth could face attack of flying pigs!

Flying Pigs
© Malaga Bay
Back in the days of drugs, sex and rock 'n' roll I visited a locum dentist on a sunny August morning when I had a a loose filling. I'm not sure quite which planet this locum dentist was from but I suspect it was Venus.

I came to that conclusion because this delightful dentist dabbled in the precautionary principle.

He argued:

All teeth should be extracted because eventually they could cause pain and suffering.

Strangely enough, this particular self-enlightened "professional" never mentioned the pecuniary principle.

The pecuniary principle is particularly popular with "professionals" and "experts".

For example:

Nine out of Ten British dentists have expressed a preference for performing procedures that maximise their income for the least effort.

These self-enlightened "professionals" specialise in wallet welfare not patient welfare i.e. you get what you're given - not what you need.

This explains why Britain has a reputation for being a Bad Teeth Nation.


Aliens influencing global politics? Massive crop circle of Putin appears in Italian field (VIDEO)

Putin Crop Circle
© Dario Gambarin
This is the work of artist Dario Gambarin.
A crop circle unlike any other has appeared in a field in Italy - a giant image of Russian President Vladimir Putin's face.

Don't blame Russian-speaking aliens though, this is the work of artist Dario Gambarin.

Comment: Ok, so it wasn't aliens. If you believe in US intelligence agency fairy-tales, however, then the Russian government got into this farmer's head and made him do it!

​The 135-metre portrait is in a field near Verona and has been created ahead of the G20 summit in Hamburg, which Putin will be attending.


Only MP's and Royal family need pay rise, says Chancellor

Philip Hammond
© The Sun, UK
Chancellor Philip Hammond has insisted the nation must hold its nerve on public sector pay rises, claiming the only people who should be getting them are the MP's and royal family that need them most.

With the Queen set to get an 8% pay rise of an extra £2.8m a year, the chancellor has said we must all be brave in resisting the urge to give nurses enough money to avoid a need for food banks.

Hammond told reporters,
"I understand that people are weary after seven years of austerity, but now is not the time to take our foot off their throats.

"We almost have them beaten. Soon there will be no-one left who is willing to work in the NHS, and then we can easily privatise it because it won't be functioning properly. Believe me; you'll actually agree with us when the time comes.

"See, and you people thought we were doing this purely out of spite.

"And we're not interested in trying to privatise the Royal family, so we really don't care how much they get paid.

"Plus my chances of getting a knighthood would be pretty slim if I gave the Queen a pay cut. I'm not an idiot."


Tim Allen's take on Political Correctness

Tim Allen

Great wig, Tim!
These two video clips are from Tim Allen's TV series "Last Man Standing." Season 6, episode 9 titled "Precious Snowflake."

What is great about this episode is it tackles the issue of America becoming too politically correct. Where people are feeling censored by using Freedom of Speech, in fear that they might hurt someone's feelings or make someone feel excluded. Stuff like micro-aggressions.


TSA workers find gaint lobster in packed luggage -- Twitter users are not amused

TSA lobster
© Michael McCarthy / Twitter
Transportation security officials in the US are used to finding some weird, wonderful and downright strange items hidden away in passenger luggage. Monday was no different, but the discovery of a 20lb lobster may not be as odd as it sounds.

TSA spokesman Michael McCarthy tweeted a photo of an unnamed TSA official displaying a huge 20lb crustacean discovered in checked luggage at Boston's Logan International Airport.

Perhaps the strangest thing about the discovery is that it's not that strange at all, well apart from the sea creature's monstrous size.

Lobsters are apparently a common sight at New England airports and can either be brought onboard as carry-on or can be checked in.

Grey Alien

'Out of town passenger' spotted in speeding car

Alien Pax
© Alpharetta Department of Public Safety/Facebook
It's no secret that police see just about everything on the job - just ask the officers of the Alpharetta Department of Public Safety.

It likely started as a routine stop for what officials told 11Alive was a speeding violation. But as the officer approached, he noticed the passenger's stern, unwavering, unnaturally pale face. It was pretty clear that this guy was from out-of-town, to say the least.

That passenger turned out to be a life-sized alien doll - surprisingly lifelike if that's, indeed, what they look like. Naturally, photos were taken and ended up on the Alpharetta police Facebook page with all the necessary puns: "#ET #doesthisqualifyforHOV #IndependenceDay". (Could you blame them?)

The driver was apparently pulled over for going 84 mph - not too fast for interstellar travel but a bit too much for cruising through north Fulton.


Always read the label! New Zealand parents mistakenly feed their kids Scooby Snacks

scooby snack

WITHDRAWN: Pet food mistakenly fed to children.
More parents have admitted mistakenly trying to feed their children dog food after a pet snack pack featuring a well-known kids cartoon was put next to chips in a supermarket.

The store owners have apologised after dozens of horrified parents have said they bought the Scooby Snacks for their youngsters from the Whanganui Pak'n Save this week to eat at school and kindergarten.

They were shocked to discover the 30g individual carob snack treats were never intended for human consumption but were animal snacks.

Notices have gone up around Whanganui preschools and staff are checking lunchboxes to make sure children aren't eating the wrong food.


I was offended! Comedian Steve Hughes on the absurdity of political correctness

© thebullelephant.com
Steve Hughes on the absurdity of political correctness.

Comment: See also:


Bye Bye Chinglish: No more 'roasted husband' and 'fried Wikipedia' as China clamps down on mangled foreign-language translations

chinglish,chinese english translations
© Phillip's Adventures / YouTube
Inventively mangled foreign-language versions of signs and menus have become an iconic feature of China, but the government is imposing a compulsory list of 3,500 common translated phrases for public use in a bid to rid the country of Chinglish.

Starting from December, the Standardisation Administration, Ministry of Education, and General Administration of Quality Supervision, Inspection and Quarantine will issue a new guide, while encouraging sign-makers to "prioritize correct grammar" and avoid misleading direct translations.

Particular focus will be on translations that are offensive, discriminatory, or unpatriotic.

Life Preserver

Elephants spring into action to save drowning calf at South Korea zoo

Elephants save baby from drowning
© Chorong Park
If elephants never forget then this swift rescue of a drowning elephant calf by two adult elephants will be a lesson in pool safety the family of gentle giants will be sure to remember.

CCTV footage from the Grand Park Zoo in Seoul, South Korea, shows the calf playfully dunk its trunk into the large pool of water besides one of the adult elephants before falling into the enclosure pool.

The panicked adult elephant watched on helplessly as the calf struggled to keep its head and trunk above water. Another nearby adult elephant heard the splash and within seconds ran to its partner's side to join in on the rescue attempt.

Unable to reach the calf with their trunks, the two adult elephants dashed into the pool towards the calf and pushed it up against the side of the pool. From there, they were able to use their trunks to hold it up.