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Wed, 16 Jan 2019
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Don't Panic! Lighten Up!


Mayor Goodboy: Meet the golden retriever serving as California town's mayor

dog canadian mayor
© Mayor Max/Facebook
Maximus Mighty Dog Mueller II, Golden Retriever elected as Idyllwild mayor
Commonly known by locals as Mayor Max, the incredibly cute tie-wearing golden retriever has been serving as the mayor of Idyllwild for five years now.

It may seem fur-real, but the small Californian town of Idyllwild has chosen a heart-crushingly adorable golden retriever with a noble name - Maximus Mighty Dog Mueller II - to be their mayor. Now there's a politician one can actually trust!

"His role is to make the world a better place by conveying unconditional love and doing as many good deeds for others. My role as the chief of staff is to help run the vision of the mayor's office for Idyllwild, so we actually run an actual mayor's office," ABC13 News cited Phyllis Mueller, Mayor Max's chief of staff, as saying.


Still thinking about moving to Canada? Justin Trudeau's top 5 cringe-worthy moments

Justin Trudeau
Justin Trudeau, The Canadian Stallion, is a man of tremendous integrity, depth and intellect. His former career as a substitute drama teacher has truly prepared him for the role of Prime Minister of Canada. Some may say he was elected because of his family name, others say it was because he promised to legalize marijuana, while others believe he was elected based off of his good looks. But I say Canadians saw within him the mind of a soon to be historic political philosopher.

Comment: Even though Trudeau provides an almost endless supply of humorous cringe-worthy and stupid moments, the likes of which make this video only the tip of the iceberg, he is still a world leader, which means every decision he makes affects the lives of millions of people. And that's a scary thought.

See also:


NRATV 'rails' against changes to Thomas the Tank Engine to increase diversity

Dana Loesch NRA TV
To a backdrop of anthropomorphic trains wearing KKK hoods, National Rifle Association spokeswoman Dana Loesch mocked the attempt to make "Thomas the Tank Engine" more diverse, saying sarcastically that the children television program has been a "blight on race relations."

During a September 7 segment of "Relentless," the NRATV host expounded on what prompted her salvo against the beloved kids show: The addition of Nia - a female, Kenyan train - to the show's cast.

"Am I to understand this entire time that Thomas and his trains were white? Because they all have gray faces. How do you bring ethnic diversity?" Loesch said. "I mean they had to paint, what I guess they thought was some sort of African pattern on the side of Nia's engine?"


OPINION: I am part of the Resistance inside the Galactic Empire

Emperor Palpatine
By: Anonymous

(note: The Beaverton is taking the rare step of publishing an anonymous Op-Ed essay. We have done so at the request of the author, a senior Commander on the Death Star whose identity is known to us and who would be in danger of being force lightsaber murdered by its disclosure.)

Emperor Palpatine is facing a test to his ironclad dominion of the entire known universe, unlike any faced by a modern galactic leader.

It's not just that the Jedi Counsel looms large (namely because he ordered them all executed). Or that the galaxy is bitterly divided over Emperor Palpatine's leadership.


'Vegetarian' dog embarrasses owner after it picks meat on live TV

Lucy Carrington

Lucy Carrington owner of 'vegetarian' dog
Lucy Carrington raises her dog Storm the Husky as a vegetarian, she was left speechless on live TV when her pet chose meat over vegetables.

She decided to put her on a meat-free diet this summer when she started to go off her food. She believed the animal wanted to be vegetarian, so she served up meat-free dog food and leftover vegetables.

Comment: There could be many reasons the dog went off her food but this owner made an erroneous assumption based on her (apparently) unconscious biases.

However, during an appearance on This Morning, the dog headed straight for a bowl of meat - nevermind the carrots and peas.

Veterinarian Scott Miller explained that while dogs are omnivores and so eat both meat and plants, making them vegetarian is taking away their freedom to follow their natural need to eat meat.

Comment: The owner is evidently embarrassed when, as the dog goes straight for the meat, she says "Oh you little....i didn't swear!". And, other than sniffing the vegetables, Storm the dog doesn't even lick them.

Be sure to check out the links below for more information on why the comments in the video praising the ideologies of vegetarianism and veganism for humans, and the suggestion that it could be suitable for dogs, are potentially deadly.

For another entertaining (but not necessarily scientific) study, let's see children's reaction to broccoli or bacon:



Links: And check out SOTT radio's: Behind the Headlines: Dissecting the Vegetarian Myth - Interview with Lierre Keith


Saudi Arabian government are 'totally awesome, lovely people'

SA Flag
© News Thump
With satirists now facing potential jail time in Saudi Arabia for making a few pointed jokes, online comedy writers around the world have been quick to praise the Saudi Arabian government.

Simon Williams, a part-time dandruff shampoo salesman and occasional contributor to pathetic leftie liberal site NewsThump told reporters, "We have always held the Saudi government in the highest esteem at NewsThump, because, well, they are just the nicest people, aren't they?

"We'd never think to write articles about their systemic bombing of children in Syria, nor their crippling oppression of women, nor their constant persecution of their LGBT citizens, because these are probably just malicious rumours, I'd imagine.


'Dancing diplomacy': Politicians cut loose and (tried to) sway to the rhythm

© Reuters
Austria's foreign minister has hailed the merits of "dancing diplomacy," less than two weeks after she swayed with Vladimir Putin at her wedding - but she's not the only politician known to put on her dancing shoes.

"Diplomacy is about much more than presenting each other with policy notes... a dance doesn't have any political implications, whether I dance with [British Foreign Secretary] Jeremy [Hunt] or anyone else," Karin Kneissl said at a press conference on Friday, as quoted by AFP.

While her comments referenced a night of samba and bossa nova with her British, Greek, Polish, and Romanian counterparts at an EU foreign ministers' meeting on Thursday, "dancing diplomacy" is also something that she recently practiced at her own wedding, sharing a dance with Putin during the celebration.

But Kneissl isn't the only politician to enjoy a good boogie. Here are six times that politicians lightened up and let themselves get lost in the music.


Study finds happiest couples are ones who occasionally glance up from electronic devices to acknowledge each other's presence

couple ingoring each other
A new study carried out by Brown University found that couples who occasionally glance up from their phones or tablets in order to acknowledge each other's presence have the happiest relationships.

"While many partners are too absorbed in whatever they're reading on their iPhone to look up once in a while as though they're aware that someone else is in the room with them, it appears those brief glances are what makes a relationship really tick," said one research intern. "It's important to create those moments of connection."

Researchers found that couples who put The Office on in the background and then settle in to browse the internet on their personal electronic devices can have a happy, fulfilled relationship, so long as they carve out a few seconds to look up and make some eye contact before resuming their internet surfing time.

Experts also recommend asking your spouse "What's so funny?" when they force air out their nose slightly more forcefully than usual, as they're probably looking at a funny meme the two of you can share together.


The 'Bad Lip Reading' video of Sarah Sanders' press briefing is absolutely hilarious

Sarah Sanders
© Yuri Gripas/Reuters
WH Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders
The genius people behind Bad Lip Reading are at it again, this time they've taken aim at White House press secretary Sarah Sanders.

Sarah Sanders opens with "I need a drink" and goes on to say, "OK idiots, are you ready? I just can't stand the faces of you people." Which might be a worryingly accurate insight into what she must be thinking when she goes into these briefings.


Mark Steel: Radical Pope is practically the same as Che Guevara

Catholic church children abuse cartoon
© Mike Scoll

When an institution sexually abuses children on an industrial scale, you won't win back trust easily. You need to demonstrate you truly understand the scale of what you've inflicted, preferably by going without breakfast one morning

It's a measure of how unique the Catholic Church is as an institution that this Pope who's on his way to Ireland is referred to as a radical tearing up the old values - maybe at times even too militant - because he's opposed to all child abuse.

Presumably, when he announced this policy, a room of cardinals gasped, "What? We're not allowed to do ANY?"

As ever when someone tries to change things too quickly, there are moderate voices who suggest a slower pace of change. Maybe they would prefer a workable compromise, such as restricting paedophilia to twice a week except for Easter.

But this Pope is an extremist, ignoring centuries of tradition to announce opposition to all of it at once, like a papal Che Guevara.

He's even going to offer "a prayer and fasting" in Ireland, as a "penitential exercise". Because when an institution sexually abuses children on an industrial scale, you won't win back trust easily. You need to demonstrate you truly understand the scale of what you've inflicted, by going without breakfast one morning.