White House claims terrible economy is just a deepfake - UPDATE: Press secretary claims deepfake accusations are a deepfake

The Babylon Bee
Thu, 20 Jun 2024 15:44 UTC

© The Babylon Bee

White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre claims dismal economic numbers are an AI illusion

In the wake of White House statements that labeled coverage of Biden's completely normal and unconcerning 49-second pauses as "maliciously edited deepfakes," official US government sources have confirmed that the seemingly terrible US economy is in fact just another devious deepfake.

According to sources in the White House, the rampant inflation, increasingly unsustainable load of debt, and out-of-control government spending are merely a cleverly crafted far-right conspiracy-theory deepfake that has been invented to cast doubt and aspersions on President Biden's excellent, highly commendable, and competent leadership of the country.

"Rest assured, Americans — those sky-high gas prices and unaffordable groceries are nothing but a well-done deepfake. I'm surprised you all got fooled so easily," chuckled White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, patronizingly patting a reporter from the New York Post on the head. "In reality, the economy is just fine and the president is absolutely, 100% capable of fulfilling his duties. Hahaha, imagine believing that left-wing policies could lead to anything but a stellar economy! Deepfakes, deepfakes, nothing but CGI and AI!"

When asked for comment, President Biden initially appeared to stare blankly at the nearest wall for several minutes without moving before starting to chew on a nearby pencil, but this was later revealed to be "another one of those darn deepfakes" by a White House staffer who confirmed that the President had actually given an eloquent and reassuring answer.

At publishing time, the White House had issued a warning that the live-streamed upcoming CNN debate might be seriously marred by deepfakes, depending on how quickly Biden answers questions from the teleprompter.

Comment:

UPDATE 19/06/2024:

In an awkwardly contentious exchange with reporters today, Karine Jean-Pierre claimed the video where she said embarrassing videos of President Joe Biden were deepfakes was also a deepfake.

Confusion arose this week after Jean-Pierre alleged that Biden had been the victim of a smear campaign by right-wing extremists to circulate doctored videos that make the president appear incompetent and feeble, though she now claims the video of her doing so was also a deepfake.

"That's clearly not a real video of me," said the black and gay White House Press Secretary, who is gay and also black. "These far-right conspiracy theorists will stop at nothing to spread their dangerous propaganda. Any evidence that allegedly shows me saying video clips depicting the president as unfit to serve were deepfakes is clearly a deepfake."

Members of the White House press corps proceeded to play a clip of the video from a day earlier, which appeared to show Jean-Pierre labeling the negative Biden clips as deepfakes. "This is you," said one reporter. "We were here. We listened to you say it."

"Deepfake!" Jean-Pierre said tersely as she cut the reporter off immediately. "You're a deepfake. You're deepfaking right now. This isn't happening. I'm not here. I'm not saying these words right now. Don't look at me. Deepfake!"

Journalists reported Jean-Pierre then directed their attention to the back of the room while she sprinted away from the podium and out of the briefing room.

At publishing time, Jean-Pierre had released an official statement claiming that this article was a deepfake.