© The Babylon Bee
The crowning of Sara Milliken as National Miss Alabama 2024 caused quite a stir online, with some praising the win as a significant step forward in the area of body positivity and others simply expressing relief that at least this pageant winner wasn't a male.
"I'm just glad this one really is a woman," said lifelong pageant fan Brandi Lake. "I guess some people might take issue with the fact that someone who is plus-sized and likely not in the best health would be crowned the winner over so many other seemingly deserving contestants, but... you know, here in 2024, we just need to be glad the winner doesn't have man parts."
The sentiment was shared by other pageant enthusiasts online. "I guess it's like a moral victory in some respects," said one commenter. "Though it might be a stretch to see this contestant as the winner of a beauty pageant in a conventional sense, we need to celebrate the fact that she's not a dude. Is it shocking to see someone like her winning the crown? Sure. But she's actually a she, so that at least counts for something."
At publishing time, pageant fans across the country agreed that not having a weiner should likely now be viewed as the most important criterion in women's beauty pageants.
Reader Comments
Only a man who has been stepped on, chewed on and spat out by supposedly 'beautiful women', can really value the true beauty of true women: the ability to adore and be loyal... To be sure those values don't ever get a mention in these superficial contests.
[Link] - if you are gonna be in a pageant, don't you think you ought be fit and trim and appealing?
I'm sorry Miss Alabama caused a traffic jam - but really - I mean really.....
This is over the top - [Link] - I'm glad the traffic finally got through and no offense to Miss Alabama, but I'd just assume be in Louisiana....
What you think fellas?
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OK - bar is open - drinks on the house!
BK
anyhow there is work to be done....
Vive la France! - Macron is going down - him and his husband.
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The pub is closed and good wishes to Miss Alabama - she is a longshot to win Miss USA - odds now are 99999 - 1.
Place your bets and God Bless merica I reckon.
May the best beauty pageant baby-doll smart witty and suffering no fools prevail - and my bet is she will be most appealing in presentation, but hells-bells - check out Miss Alabama!
BK
Maybe I'm too late to get a round in... A huge traffic jam, a bit of a pickle, it was one of those 'spare tyre' moments, as well as spare seat, spare airbags, you name it.
On a serious note: Miss Alababa... Not exactly a role model for health and well-being. Is this really the jewel of women in Alabama? Surely there must be a female Stephen Hawkings rolling about in those parts who could fit the bill. But then again, if Miss A Lbm is loyal and loving, willing to stand at the helm of the house and raise good children, then she gets my vote... Though I doubt those details were taken into account.
How the hell did she get roped into the competition? Did all the other candidates get killed off, or all got stuck in traffic on the way to the pageant?
I sometimes wonder if Jeremy Beadle is one day gonna come on live TV internationally and tell everyone that everything was a prank, all interests rates cut, all debts cancelled, everyone back to living life once again.
Upside down twistery - the pub will open again later Pedro - your drinks are on the house!
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I mentioned to my lovely wife about Ms. Alabama - and my wife ain't a big fan of beauty pageants nor those inclined to participate and she said this was not the "official pageant" for the USA Crown, and that I don't know one way or the other - but me and Miss Louisiana......well suffice it say we still had a hell of good time together - we just didn't discuss the pageant victor from Alabama!
Ken
You're lucky that your granddaughter didn't go down for hate crime.
"Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings."
My oldest son, when aged about six or seven, told a guy in front of us at a checkout, "You're really black!" The guy laughed and said something like "Sure am", and my son asked "How can you tell when you get dirty?" Everyone in earshot broke up laughing, including the guy himself.
We lived in a
fairlyreally remote town of about 5,000, half Hispanic (Apaches, actually) and half "Anglo", with maybe a half-dozen African-Americans. There was - and is to this day, I believe - virtually no racism at all. Everybody knew pretty much everybody else, at least by sight if not by Howdy.