© The Babylon Bee
"I've been doing business in the city for 32 years," she said to reporters. "I fully support BLM and their wonderful peaceful protests," she said while raising one fist.
"However, if the protests get so peaceful that my shop gets peacefully looted by brave liberators of my entire stock, or gets peacefully burned to the ground by the flames of peaceful justice, I need to be prepared."
Farnsworth said she would be using her stimulus check and PPP loan to pay for the increased insurance premiums until the peaceful peacefulness finally subsides. Her insurance company will require her to hang a "Black Lives Matter" sign outside her business for the entirety of the peaceful protests to protect against any encroaching peacefulness.
According to sources, she soon thought twice about it and decided to just move to Florida instead.
Reader Comments
White Privilege and Peaceful Protest are mutually exclusive ...
R.C.
The fact is that virtually all property insurance policies have explicit exclusions for things like war, revolution, riot, civil unrest, etc., etc. Odds are probably high that most businesses that have been burned/looted by Antifa/BLM have not been able to collect on their insurance policies due to those exclusions. Insurance companies do NOT have to go along with the MSM propagandists calling these "peaceful protests" when deciding to pay out or not.