© New York Daily NewsAriana Grande at the 2016 Grammys
Pop superstar Ariana Grande has mediated a remarkably
cool-headed discussion about sexual harassment and objectification on Twitter this week, proving that the social media platform can occasionally rise above the bubbling fecal puddle of its loudest user base.
On Tuesday, Grande tweeted that she was getting takeout with boyfriend Mac Miller when a "young boy" followed Miller to the car to tell him how big a fan he was. Grande wrote that, sitting in the passenger seat, "I thought all of this was cute and exciting until he said 'ariana is sexy as hell man i see you, i see you hitting that!!!' *pause* Hitting that? the f**k??"
The encounter made Grande feel
"sick and objectified," she wrote; since it happened, she's been
"really quiet and hurt." It may seem trivial to some, she continued, but these too frequent reminders that
women are viewed as achievements or belongings for which to congratulate fellow men "contribute to women's sense of fear and inadequacy."
"I am not a piece of meat that a man gets to utilize for his pleasure," Grande wrote. "I'm an adult human being in a relationship with a man who treats me with love and respect. ... I felt like speaking out about this one experience tonight because I know very well that
most women know the sensation of being spoken about in an uncomfortable way publicly or taken advantage of publicly by a man."Because Grande has sung sexy songs and worn sexy clothes, some people told the singer on Twitter that she has no right to complain when men speak of having sex with ("hitting") her ("that"). "How could you not expect people to talk about you like that?"
one man asked.
Others suggested that she makes her money by making people want to have sex with her, so any ensuing insults to her dignity are her fault and her profit. One
Breitbart writer told Grande to "
check your privilege" because many people don't have the advantage of being spoken of like they're
Staples Easy ButtonsTM.
But deep in the replies, there are some instances of open-minded discussion. Grande has been up in her mentions
carefully explaining that "women (and men) can express themselves however they'd like !!! even loving sex!!
this is not an invitation to be disrespected" while assuring her readers that she's trying to
help people understand an important distinction, not start a figh
t. When one man asked Grande why Miller didn't give the boy a verbal shakedown, another user told him that everyone responds differently to stressful situations. "I respect that," the man replied. Progress!
Now that the
Breitbart and
Pepe fanatics have gotten hold of Grande's story, the singer has been
targeted by a predictable flood of insults, accusations of being a bad "role model" for little girls, and mean-spirited belittling of what was clearly a disturbing moment for her. In response, she's calmly reiterating her points with
little emoji hearts for emphasis.
It takes no small amount of courage to post about the emotional toll of everyday sexual objectification, knowing that some portion of your 43 million followers will drag you for it. But the strength and patience Grande has shown by engaging with Twitter trolls instead of laying a heavy finger on the mute button should qualify her for sainthood.
Again, like the SF quarterback, we have an imperfect messenger... to say the least... but her point is well intentioned... if a wee bit oblivious to the industry she works for, as it is purposely perverting the environment... same with our education system, our science, religious, political systems, et al.
The use of 'flirty' attire has to be seen in the light of the sexual nature of most of the songs sung while wearing them. You have to be 'sexy' to get away with all of this, and Ariana is... but she is right in that there is a difference between being 'sexy', being a public sex object and being an open target for public abuse, as I doubt that most of her fans buying her product (music, attire etc) are males seeking sex with her... this 'young man' was most likely a rap fan, right? As this Miller dude is one.... and he should've used his statue with his 'fan' to set him straight in how not to talk to a woman.... othewise, he's anchoring himself into a ghetto mindset that the establishment wants to keep him in.... a slave essentially... and sex is the body's primary means of expression after the more basic needs of hunger and thirst have been met. This 'young man' might be still at the primary level of social expression... the animal level, but he could just be a product of our perverted society... another sign of our end-times. The only 'culture' left to express on our way down is this perverted form of 'music', which is selling sex for the most part, and messed up relationships that need fixing... the next level on the ladder of expression.
If nothing else, this experience has secured Ariana her fan base and generated a social discussion about something 'real' instead of something 'fake'... same as most songs these days, stuck in relationship issues.... blocking stones to throw at each other... until they get too heavy to carry and thrown aside as we carry on with our journey... our Tao.