The pain of modern life: Loneliness and isolation

Loneliness, particularly in developed countries, has been growing year on year. The suffocating condition of loneliness is the consequence of feeling isolated, disconnected, and adrift, not of being alone. It is related to loss - of a loved one, of a childhood, of an undefined relationship with oneself. It is extremely painful, erodes trust, and can cause lonely people to "feel others around them are threats rather than sources of cooperation and compassion."

Materialistic values characterise the present, all pervasive socio-economic model; governments of all political persuasions are the docile servants of the system, the partners of the corporations who run it. Together they form the contemporary elite. A contented, united and happy populace is the last thing they want. Social unity and human compassion are the enemies of the elite and an unjust system, which promotes values of greed and indifference.

If humanity is to progress towards a new and peaceful way of living, such values, which creating the conditions in which loneliness is almost inevitable, need to give way to other more positive ideals. Cooperation instead of competition, for example, will cultivate tolerance and understanding where suspicion and selfishness prevail, allowing communities to come together, strengthening unity - a primary need of our troubled times.

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Children are predisposed to believe they are inadequate because they actually are. Children can't do things that adults can do. They do spill the milk. They can't tie their shoes. They mess up when they try to do things.

As adults, we know that such inadequacy is normal. Children aren't expected to be able to do things because they are children. We understand that they have to learn. Unfortunately, children don't have that perspective. They often see their inability to do things as evidence of their inadequacy.

Good parents encourage their children when they mess up. They help the child understand that they have to learn to do new things, and that making mistakes is a normal part of learning. All parents criticize their children at times, and no parent is immune to the frustrations of raising children. But what about the parent who is overly critical? What about the parent who displays his frustration or disapproval whenever the child makes any mistake? Such parental behavior simply reinforces the child's feelings of inadequacy. The internal critic is born.

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