Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Bizarro Earth

China: Myna talent for mimicry


Ananova
Sat, 20 Sep 2008 15:28 UTC
A myna bird managed to shut up two noisy parrots in China - by learning to miaow like a cat.

Bird owner Mr Jiang, of Nanjing, bought the myna and taught it to speak in order to attract business.

All went well - until he bought two parrots and put them in a cage next to the myna, reports the Yangtse Evening Post.
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Cloud Lightning

US: Menacing Cloud Formation Spotted in Tacoma, Washington

Frigyes Karinthy
The Naked Loon
Sat, 20 Sep 2008 14:10 UTC


Menacing clouds
©Nigel Jones | The Naked Loo
The ominous, wispy menace.

Local meteorologists released a series of photographs Monday of a menacing cloud formation spotted in the skies above Pierce County.

Curiously darker than the surrounding fluffy white billows of water vapor, the mysterious shadowy wisps seem to be gathering for some foul purpose, according to KOMO 4 weather expert Jim Castillo.
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Smiley

Man carries out upside down protest


BBC News
Fri, 19 Sep 2008 14:46 UTC


Herbert Crossman
©BBC News

A man protesting against rising living costs has suspended himself upside down in central London.

Security worker Herbert Crossman, from Harrow, north-west London, hung from a crane for two hours in Trafalgar Square.

He was attached by the ankles to the crane with a bungee rope, reports the BBC.

Money fell from his pockets into buckets below. He said the money signified how British people are "haemorrhaging money".
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Smiley

Economists Warn Anti-Bush Merchandise Market Close To Collapse


The Onion
Thu, 18 Sep 2008 16:46 UTC

Economists Warn Anti-Bush Merchandise Market Close To Collapse
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Smiley

Satire: Nothing can possibly go wrong with gigantic new bank


The Daily Mash
Thu, 18 Sep 2008 11:54 UTC


titanic
©Unknown
Titanic has been sailing between Southampton and New York for more than 90 years

HBOS and Lloyds TSB last night created a monstrous new banking entity safe in the knowledge that nothing can possibly go wrong.

Politicians and businessmen breathed a collective sigh of relief as two of the biggest names on the high street formed one very long name that will never do anything other than be brilliant all the time.

Martin Bishop, a senior trader at Madeley Finnegan, said: "History tells us that massive financial institutions do not fail. Ever. Okay, there is maybe a tiny handful of exceptions.

"Okay, maybe 40 or 50 exceptions. Actually, you're right, this is starting to look really dodgy."
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Cow

Donkey imprisoned for stealing corn in Egypt


RIA Novosti
Thu, 18 Sep 2008 08:22 UTC
A donkey from the northeast Egyptian city of Tanta has been sentenced to 24 hours in jail for stealing corn from a field owned by a local agricultural research center, the Al-Ahram weekly said on Thursday.

The head of the research center called police after corncobs began vanishing from a field. The police laid a trap for the corn thief and subsequently caught a local donkey red-handed.

Local media reported that the donkey's owner, a local farmer, then admitted to training the animal to steal corncobs.

A local judge sentenced the donkey to 24 hours in jail and fined the farmer 50 Egyptian pounds ($9.5).

This May, a donkey from the southern Mexican state of Chiapas was found guilty of assault and battery and thrown behind bars after he attacked two men.
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Ambulance

Chinese purse snatcher survives seventh-floor leap


RIA Novosti
Fri, 12 Sep 2008 14:25 UTC
Beijing - A Chinese purse snatcher leapt off the roof of a seven-storey shopping mall during a police chase only to be arrested several minutes later, the China Daily said on Friday.
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Magic Hat

UK: Pet bunny's ears prompt 999 call


BBC News
Mon, 15 Sep 2008 12:21 UTC
A woman dialled 999 because a rabbit she bought via a newspaper advert did not have floppy ears, Central Scotland Police have said. The force is urging the public not to dial 999 unless they are faced with a genuine emergency.

The reminder comes after operators, who receive 34,000 999 calls a year, said the number was being dialled for "wholly inappropriate reasons". One call was from a woman splashed by a car which drove through a puddle.
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Life Preserver

UK: An 11-month-old baby has stunned her family and emergency services by raising the alarm about her unconscious mother


Sky News
Mon, 15 Sep 2008 00:26 UTC
Amelia Boyle picked up a ringing phone after her mother, 20-year-old Elizabeth Boyle, had collapsed in their Essex home.

The baby then repeatedly said "Mama" down the phone - raising the alarm to the caller, her grandmother Linda Wright.

Ms Wright, whose daughter has a history of fainting and fitting, realised something was wrong and dialled 999. Paramedics were dispatched to the scene.
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Light Saber

University offers one-day Jedi course

Lester Haines
The Register
Fri, 12 Sep 2008 13:36 UTC
Queen's University Belfast will in November open its doors to 30-40 wannabe Jedi knights with a one-day course entitled "Feel the Force: How to Train in the Jedi Way."

The blurb explains that the training on offer "teaches the real-life psychological techniques behind Jedi mind tricks*, and examines the wider issues behind the Star Wars universe, like balance, destiny, dualism, fatherhood and fascism". It adds: "This course is a must for all Star Wars enthusiasts, although light sabres are not provided!"

Course Jedi master Allen Baird said he "hoped his novel approach would attract younger people to open learning", according to the Telegraph. He explained: "It is not just about the Star Wars films. It is also about the sociological and political issues that are addressed in the films."
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