© The Babylon Bee
"We need brave, strong, and independent role models that girls can look up to!" said Disney CEO Bob Chapek. "But she's also gotta be extremely submissive, easily controlled, and totally subservient. We can't afford to have another woman out here speaking her mind!"
"At Disney, we tell stories of hope, courage, and rebellion against all-powerful empires, but that nonsense is all for show," he continued. "What we actually care about is women who will regurgitate all of our politically correct talking points and approved messages."
"I'll watch anything made by Disney. Who cares that they praise brutal communist regimes that imprison Uighurs and cancel conservative women — I just want more Baby Yoda!" said eager fan Adam Harrington. "In fact, the more mindless puppets the better!"
"She got what she deserved," said one critic on Twitter. "What did she expect after using her platform to stand for what she believes in? What does she think this is? A Disney movie?!"
Disney has now updated their listing to look for a woman who's fierce, but only when commanded, smart, but not smart enough to scare the men, and preferably strong, but not strong enough to beat up the whole studio.
An example is picking up a dog for watchdog use while living under stress in a partly built home basement, and an emphasized fear of the cops being called increased when the dog did not stop barking. Viola!! Instant dog beater that never existed previously.
You would be amazed at what hypnotic suggestion can induce using your past. The appearance of resilience with actual obedience thru fear.........accomplished immediately. The psychiatrists will declaim such exists as then they can safely ignore the responsibility. And the pushes are a lot harder to unwind than they ever admit. So the dirty deed falls to the lowly talk therapists who are more than willing to work with the local authority to oust a family and have the assets bank acquired then made available to the power structure for pennies. Now you know when you see modern buildings shuttered and you wonder why, they were able to stop before the debt made it impossible to recover from. We were too trusting and did not know such cruelty was possible.