Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Bizarro Earth

Yikes! Orlando shoes for guns program produces missile launcher

Henry Pierson Curtis
Orlando Sentinel
Sat, 18 Aug 2007 11:19 UTC
Orlando emptied its bureau drawers and closets on Friday of more than 250 unwanted guns -- and one surface-to-air missile launcher.

The shoulder-fired weapon showed about 6 p.m. when an Ocoee man drove to the Citrus Bowl to trade the 4-foot-long launcher for size-3 Reebok sneakers for his daughter.

©Red Huber/Orlando Sentinel
Orlando Police Sgt. Barbara Jones holds a surface-to-air missile launcher that had been turned in to the Orlando Police Kicks for Guns 2007 program on Friday.

"I didn't know what to do with it, so I brought it here," explained the man, who said he found the missile in a shed he tore down last week. "I took it to three dumps to try to get rid of it and they told me to get lost."
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Question

Mystery of 'Poe Toaster' revealed


Associated Press
Fri, 17 Aug 2007 12:44 UTC
The legend was almost too good to be true.

For decades, a mysterious figure dressed in black, his features cloaked by a wide-brimmed hat and scarf, crept into a churchyard to lay three roses and a bottle of cognac at the grave of Edgar Allan Poe.

Now, a 92-year-old man who led the fight to preserve the historic site says the visitor was his creation.
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Life Preserver

Woman has rare identical quadruplets

SARAH COOKE
AP
Fri, 17 Aug 2007 01:44 UTC
HELENA, Mont. - A 35-year-old Canadian woman has given birth to rare identical quadruplets, officials at a Great Falls hospital said Thursday. Karen Jepp of Calgary, Alberta, delivered Autumn, Brooke, Calissa and Dahlia by Caesarian section Sunday afternoon at Benefis Healthcare, said Amy Astin, the hospital's director of community and government relations.
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Magic Wand

Seat Belt 'Heimlich' Saves Choking Man


Associated Press
Thu, 16 Aug 2007 22:01 UTC
EUGENE, Ore. - A seat belt saved a driver, police say, but not in the usual way. Steven Earp, 48, was eating a fast-food sandwich Wednesday morning, said police Sgt. Doug Mozan. Earp choked and blacked out. His 1997 Honda sedan hit a parked car.
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Smiley

Chinese couple tried to name baby "@"


Reuters
Thu, 16 Aug 2007 12:01 UTC
A Chinese couple tried to name their baby "@", claiming the character used in e-mail addresses echoed their love for the child, an official trying to whip the national language into line said on Thursday.

The unusual name stands out especially in Chinese, which has no alphabet and instead uses tens of thousands of multi-stroke characters to represent words.

"The whole world uses it to write e-mail, and translated into Chinese it means 'love him'," the father explained, according to the deputy chief of the State Language Commission Li Yuming.
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Bulb

Man Arrested After Trying to Rob a Nun


Associated Press
Wed, 15 Aug 2007 23:09 UTC
MADISON, Wis. - A would-be thief came up empty-handed after trying to rob a nun who had taken a vow of poverty. Madison police arrested the man later in the day. They gave the following account:
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Life Preserver

Viking ship arrives in Ireland


AFP
Wed, 15 Aug 2007 12:57 UTC
A reconstructed 11th century Viking longship has arrived in the Irish capital Dublin after 44 days at sea and with only sails and oars as power.

The Havhingsten fra Glendalough (The Sea Stallion from Glendalough) is the largest Viking warship ever rebuilt and its 65 crew were welcomed by a large crowd when they disembarked at Custom House quay in central Dublin.

Its sedate arrival up the River Liffey was shown live on the Internet and Irish state television.
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Smiley

Monkey apparently picks lock, escapes again


AP
Wed, 15 Aug 2007 03:00 UTC
A monkey that freed himself two weeks ago from a Mississippi zoo has escaped again, zoo officials said. Tupelo Buffalo Park and Zoo Manager Kirk Nemecheck and other employees noticed the white-faced capuchin's cage open and lock on the ground around 8:30 a.m. Monday.

Oliver and another capuchin named Baby were found wandering nearby. Workers easily captured Baby, but Oliver fled the park headed in the direction of the Tupelo Country Club, Nemecheck said.

Comment: Unlike most Americans, the monkey has become aware that he lives in a prison and is doing his best to escape.

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Smiley

Man Pays Big Tax Bill in Coins, $1 Bills


Associated Press
Tue, 14 Aug 2007 21:59 UTC
MUNCIE, Ind. - Cary Malchow was so upset by his property tax bill he decided to make a scene by paying it _ all $12,656.07 _ with bags of change and $1 bills.
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Arrow Down

Italian town to pay residents to shed flab


Reuters
Tue, 14 Aug 2007 13:26 UTC
Overweight residents of an Italian town will be paid to lose weight, the mayor said on Monday.

Men living in the northwestern Italian town of Varallo will receive 50 euros ($70) for losing 4 kg (9 pounds) in a month, Mayor Gianluca Buonanno said. Women will get the same amount for shedding 3 kg (7 pounds).

If they can keep the weight off for 5 months, they will get another 200 euros ($280), he told Reuters.
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