Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Pumpkin

The dog ate my party


Reuters
Thu, 02 Apr 2009 11:34 UTC
Koni Putin's Dog
© REUTERS/RIA Novosti/PoolRussian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin watches his dog Koni that wears a GPS device on its collar in the Novo-Ogaryovo residence outside Moscow October 17, 2008.
Prime Minister Vladimir Putin's pet dog gobbled up a special tea prepared for bosses of Russia's ruling party Wednesday.

While Putin discussed ways to help the local food industry, his favorite black Labrador Koni slinked into a room at his residence and tucked into delicacies prepared for leaders of his United Russia party.
Read More...
Beer

Taking the fizz out of Coke ad claims

Rob Taylor
Reuters
Thu, 02 Apr 2009 11:36 UTC
Coca-Cola Fizz in Oz
© REUTERS/Tami Chappell
Claims Coke will not make children fat or rot their teeth have landed Coca-Cola in trouble with Australia's consumer watchdog, which Thursday ordered the soft drink company to correct its advertising.

Coca-Cola South Pacific (CCSP) last year ran advertising titled "Motherhood & Myth-Busting," featuring popular Australian actress Kerry Armstrong and claiming Coke was "kiddy-safe."

As well as claiming Coke did not make children fat or harm their teeth, the full-page print ads sought to combat public perceptions that Coke was packed with large amounts of caffeine.
Read More...
Brick Wall

Satire: David Addington and John Yoo Cancel Plans to Backpack across Europe

Will Menaker
The Huffington Post
Sun, 29 Mar 2009 17:37 UTC
Washington DC -- A Spanish court has agreed to consider a criminal case against six former Bush Administration officials over allegations they helped craft the legal means with which to torture prisoners in US custody. With arrest warrants likely to be issued, this criminal complaint brought before one of Europe's leading counter-terrorist courts has lead to renewed questions about America, the rule of law, and human rights as well as raised a serious road-block in the way of two of the targets' summer vacation plans.
Read More...
Wolf

South Park - Stan Marsh takes us through the mortgage crisis


South Park
Wed, 01 Apr 2009 22:07 UTC

From this week's episode of South Park, "Margaritaville," Stan Marsh and others get hit with the backlash of the credit crunch.
Read More...
Smiley

The best April Fool's pranks go beyond the ordinary

James Foster
Times & Transcript
Wed, 01 Apr 2009 19:33 UTC
April Fool's Day pranks were always a hoot at our house, as long as it was someone else being pranked.

Dad was a favourite target, as dads always are, and poor Papa Foster soon grew to regret the day he raised a house full of kids that were far, far more inventive than to simply switch the contents of the sugar bowl for salt before he got up to make coffee on April 1. Pfft, that stuff was for amateurs.

Chinese food was a rare luxury at our house, so on those special occasions when we'd order in, Dad would dive in with great gusto, making a big production of the feast.
Read More...
Saturn

'Toilet row' lowers space morale


BBC News
Tue, 31 Mar 2009 10:14 UTC
The International Space Station, once a place where astronauts would share food and facilities, is said to be embroiled in a Cold War-like stand-off.

ISS Space Station_01
© Agence France PressCosmonauts on the ISS say they are no longer permitted to use US facilities
A Russian cosmonaut has complained he is no longer allowed to use a US toilet as well as a US exercise bike.

Gennady Padalka, 50, told Russia's Novaya Gazeta newspaper the lack of sharing was lowering the crew's morale.

The veteran cosmonaut said the problem was due to the ISS becoming a more commercial operation.
Read More...
Question

Unused service for gamblers may be revised

Kevin Miller
Bangor Daily News
Wed, 01 Apr 2009 00:55 UTC
Augusta, Maine - A legislative committee heard testimony Monday on a bill that aims to improve the state's outreach to gambling addicts.

For more than two years, the Office of Substance Abuse in the Maine Department of Health and Human Services has offered a counseling service for those they call "problem gamblers." That program is funded from a portion of the income Penn National Gaming Inc. receives from slot machines at the company's Hollywood Slots facility in Bangor.

But not a single person has received treatment through the program, according to Guy Cousins, director of the Office of Substance Abuse.
Read More...
Smiley

Lemon cola becomes holy water in baptism

Wojciech Moskwa
Reuters
Tue, 31 Mar 2009 14:22 UTC
Baptism holy water
© REUTERS - Gil Cohen Magen
A Norwegian church used lemon-flavored cola instead of water in a baptism ceremony after its taps were temporarily turned off because of freezing temperatures, daily Vaart Land said Tuesday.

Priest Paal Dale from the town of Stord, about 150 miles west of the capital Oslo, improvised during a recent cold-spell by dabbing the lemon fizzy water on a baby during a baptism ceremony, it said.
Read More...
Grey Alien

Miss Universe Visits Guantanamo Bay

Liliana Segura
Alter Net
Mon, 30 Mar 2009 14:30 UTC
Dayana Mendoza on the U.S. prison camp: "I didn't want to leave."

Dayana Mendoza_01
Ever wondered what it takes to be Miss Universe? Thanks to Venezuela's Dayana Mendoza, we can now be sure it's not a finely tuned sense of current events. The reigning beauty queen visited Guantanamo Bay last week, courtesy of the U.S.O, and, in a truly astonishing feat of self-parody, wrote the following description of her trip, including rave reviews of the jails, the military dogs, and of course, the beaches.

I am posting it in its entirety, in case the original post is removed for being just too damn embarrassing to beauty queens everywhere. (Perhaps somewhere Miss Teen South Carolina is feeling a little bit better.)
Read More...
Pistol

US: Man fires at McDonald's window over breakfast menu


Associated Press
Mon, 30 Mar 2009 14:10 UTC
Salt Lake City, Utah - Police said a customer fired one or two shots into a Salt Lake City McDonald's after the driver of the car he was in was told the restaurant was not serving lunch yet. Police said the female driver of a white Dodge Intrepid pulled up to the drive-thru and ordered from the lunch menu early Sunday but was told only breakfast was available.
Read More...