Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Magic Hat

'Spider-Man' rescues autistic Thai boy


Sydney Morning Herald
Tue, 24 Mar 2009 12:37 UTC
A Thai fireman turned superhero when he dressed up as comic-book character Spider-Man to coax a frightened eight-year-old from a balcony, police said on Tuesday.

Teachers at a special needs school in Bangkok alerted authorities on Monday when an autistic pupil, scared of attending his first day at school, sat out on the third-floor ledge and refused to come inside, a police sergeant told American Free Press.
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Smiley

Oops: Colbert Wins NASA Space Station Name Contest


Yahoo News
Tue, 24 Mar 2009 08:08 UTC
Image
© AP Photo/Jason DeCrow, Stephen Colbert poses in New York.
Washington D.C.- NASA's online contest to name a new room at the international space station went awry. Comedian Stephen Colbert won.

The name "Colbert" beat out NASA's four suggested options in the space agency's effort to have the public help name the addition. The new room will be launched later this year.
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Black Cat

'Deathbed confession' man charged


BBC News
Mon, 23 Mar 2009 13:40 UTC
A US man who thought he was dying and confessed to having killed a neighbour in 1977 has been charged with murder after making a recovery, US media say.
James Brewer_01
Mr Brewer moved state and adopted an assumed name after the killing

James Brewer could now face the death penalty over the unsolved killing in Tennessee 32 years ago, reports say.

Convinced he was dying after a stroke, Mr Brewer reportedly admitted to police he shot dead 20-year-old Jimmy Carroll.

The 58-year-old, who had fled Tennessee after the killing, was arrested after his condition improved, reports say.
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Cheeseburger

Cape Town to fine baboon feeders


BBC News
Mon, 23 Mar 2009 17:24 UTC
Photo-opportunity hunting tourists caught offering food to baboons will face fines, authorities in the South African city of Cape Town have warned.
Baboons - Cape Town
There are estimated to be about 350 baboons in and around Cape Town

The monkeys have become increasingly audacious in pursuit of snacks, even snatching bags from passers-by in popular tourist spots.

Officials say offenders could face a fine of up to 1,500 rand ($150; £104) or even six months in jail.

There are estimated to be about 350 Chacma baboons in and around Cape Town.

In a statement on Monday, the city of Cape Town said some tour operators were apparently deliberately baiting the baboons, so tourists can take photos.
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Cow

Non-Kosher Hot Dog Incites Rage At Jewish Eatery

Christine Sloan
Columbia Broadcasting Service
Mon, 23 Mar 2009 15:58 UTC
Restaurant Owner Brandished Electric Knife To Fend Off Enraged Customers

New York-It was an all-out frankfurter frenzy this week at a popular Jewish restaurant in Brooklyn, as a certain hot dog caused a near-riot.

It's not what you would expect: a worker in a NYC eatery caught on tape fending off a group of Jewish patrons with an electric knife.

"I was petrified - stuff was going through my mind," a patron who didn't want his name used said. "I want to live. I don't want to get stabbed for a hot dog."

The long-time patron says the chaos broke out when he and a rabbi noticed the frankfurters on the grill were non-Kosher, in a restaurant that's supposed to be dishing out the Kosher variety.
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Mr. Potato

Sweden on the brink of Eurovision war


The Local
Sun, 22 Mar 2009 01:10 UTC
Everybody panic! The Local has inadvertently sparked what the Swedish press is referring to as the 'Tingeling Crisis'.

Now as crises go, it's hardly Cuba or the Berlin Blockade. But in a land such as Sweden, gripped with Eurovision fever, revelations that the Russians were less than pleased with an interval song and dance number at the Melodifestivalen final have quickly spread far and wide.
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Smiley

YouTube 'spammed by US Congressmen'

Mark Coleman
The Telegraph
Wed, 18 Mar 2009 16:54 UTC
YouTube, the internet hosting site, is being flooded with cringe worthy video messages from US politicians, it has been claimed.

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Smiley

Jewel thieves robbed of takings


BBC News
Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:48 UTC
Two men who held up a jewellery store in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, were themselves robbed as they made their getaway, US police say.

A second pair of robbers pounced on their haul of cash and gems in the street outside, sparking a fight followed by a car chase.

Police pulled over both vehicles and arrested four men, all from Illinois.
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Crusader

Bill Would Allow Texas School to Grant Master's Degree in Science for Creationism

Nora Zimmett
Fox News
Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:05 UTC
A Texas legislator is waging a war of biblical proportions against the science and education communities in the Lone Star State as he fights for a bill that would allow a private school that teaches creationism to grant a Master of Science degree in the subject.

State Rep. Leo Berman (R-Tyler) proposed House Bill 2800 when he learned that The Institute for Creation Research (ICR), a private institution that specializes in the education and research of biblical creationism, was not able to receive a certificate of authority from Texas' Higher Education Coordinating Board to grant Master of Science degrees.

Berman's bill would allow private, non-profit educational institutions to be exempt from the board's authority.

"If you don't take any federal funds, if you don't take any state funds, you can do a lot more than some business that does take state funding or federal funding," Berman says. "Why should you be regulated if you don't take any state or federal funding?"
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Document

Councils get banned jargon list


BBC News
Wed, 18 Mar 2009 00:01 UTC
Churchill - BBC
Winston Churchill is an example to council workers, campaigners say
Council leaders have compiled a banned list of the 200 worst uses of jargon, with "predictors of beaconicity" and "taxonomy" among the worst horrors.

The Local Government Association says such words and phrases must be avoided for staff to "communicate effectively".

Cliches such as "level playing field" and inscrutable terms like "re-baselining" have been prohibited.

LGA chairman Margaret Eaton said: "The public sector must not hide behind impenetrable jargon and phrases."

Local and central government are often criticised for their use of language.

'Coterminous, stakeholder engagement'

The LGA's list includes suggested translations of some terms, such as "measuring" for the civil servant's favourite "benchmarking", "idea" for "seedbed", "delay" for "slippage" and "buy" for "procure".

For most, though, no explanation is forthcoming or, perhaps, possible.

Town hall workers are urged not to use the words "mainstreaming", "holistic", "contestability" and "synergies".
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