
© The OnionGen. Ray Odierno
Boy, how these last six years have flown by. Back in 2003, when we first arrived here in your country, we certainly didn't expect things to turn out the way they did. It seems like only yesterday we were marching into Baghdad, waiting to be greeted with shouts of gratitude and appreciation for saving you from the evil dictator who ruled your totalitarian state with an iron fist. Well, the surge is over and we're gonna roll pretty soon, so I just wanted to mention that it's not too late to greet us as liberators if you get the chance.
Honestly, there's still time. In fact, a spontaneous belated welcoming party right about now would feel pretty great.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "What about all those roadside bombs and beheading videos and what have you? Wouldn't it be a little awkward for us to shower you with kisses and chants of 'U.S.A.!' now, after all the blood and gore and amputations?" Not at all. Hey, that's all water under the bridge, as far as I'm concerned. I can see how you might feel a little bit nervous or shy about embracing us as beacons of liberty six years into our occupation of your country, especially after all those civilians we accidentally killed, but it's never too late to show a little gratitude.