Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Binoculars

UK: Man on "Chicken-Licking" Charge

A former shelf-stacker who was allegedly filmed licking raw chickens at an Asda supermarket in Preston has been charged with criminal damage.

Adeel Ayub, 30, of Spinney Brow, is accused of putting the chickens back on shelves, slashing colleagues' coats and smashing eggs.

He was charged after police were given mobile phone footage which appeared to show a worker committing the offenses.

He is due before Preston Magistrates on 15 December.

Mr. Potato

'Face of Virgin Mary' Discovered on Thanksgiving Pancake

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© SplashSimply divine: Bianca Lopez claims to have found the face of the Virgin Mary on her pancake
When a US woman began making pancakes for her family before the Thanksgiving holiday she was hoping they would be divine.

But Bianca Lopez got slightly more than she bargained for when she discovered what she claims is the face of the Virgin Mary imprinted on the savoury treat.

And she says that the holy image encrusted in batter has brought her family peace and comfort.

Lopez, from Glendale, Arizona came across the 'Thanksgiving miracle' when she made her very last pancake from the batch.

Newspaper

First Church of Tiger Woods Disbands After Furore

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© Flickr
The transgressions of Tiger Woods have proved too much to take for one of the golf superstar's most fanatical fans, who is now disbanding a church set up in praise of the sports icon.

John Ziegler, the pastor of the First Church of Tiger Woods, has announced in a statement on the blog that the organization is being dissolved because of the golfer's "personal sins".

The church, whose home page has now been renamed The Damnation of Tiger Woods, was launched by radio host Ziegler in 1996 to "celebrate the emergence of the 'true messiah'".

However, the lurid revelations that have swirled around Woods since last week have left Ziegler so disenchanted that he is now ending his church, which has its own Prayer for Tiger and Ten Tiger Commandments.

Info

Symbolism? -- Snake eats its own tail

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A pet snake required emergency veterinary surgery after it attempted to eat his own tail.

Reggie, a 3ft kingsnake, almost had to be put down when it mistook its tail for another snake and took a bite, but found itself unable to regurgitate the tail due to its backward-facing teeth.

The snake's owner was only alerted when it began to choke. Reggie was rushed to Seers Croft Veterinary Centre in Faygate, West Sussex, where exotic reptiles expert Bob Reynolds prised open its mouth, dislocated its jaw and removed the tail before it had been digested.

Heart

Best of the Web: Nana Mouskouri - Song for Liberty

When you sing I'm singing with you liberty
When you cry I cry with you in sorrow
When you suffer I'm praying for you liberty
For your struggles will bring us a new tomorrow
Days of sad darkness and fear must one day crumble
For the force of your kindness and love make them tremble
When you sing I'm singing with you liberty
In the void of your absence I keep searching for you
Who are you dream illusion or just reality
Faith ideal desire revolution
I believe you're the symbol of our humanity
Lighting up the world for eternity
I can see why men die to defend you
Try to guard to protect and attend you
When you sing I'm singing with you liberty
With your tears or your joys I love you
Let us sing and rejoice make our own history
Songs of hope with one voice guide us to victory
Liberty, Liberty

Telephone

California: Wrong Number Miracle

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© NBC
Mom was going to miss mortgage payment if she sent daughter money

Virginia Saenz could hear the desperation in the voice of the telephone message. It was 5 a.m. on the day before Thanksgiving, and the caller, Lucy Crutchfield, was trying to tell her daughter that she'd send money for groceries -- but she'd have to miss a mortgage payment to do it.

But Crutchfield dialed the wrong number. Instead of getting her daughter, she got Saenz, a real estate agent from the San Diego suburb of Tierrasanta.

"I know right now we are all struggling," Saenz said. "Lisa on the phone, she sounded so desperate for her daughter, it broke my heart."

Saenz did the only thing she could think of -- she called Crutchfield back and said not to worry. Crutchfield would pay the mortgage, and Saenz would handle the groceries.

Binoculars

India: Man Moves Mountain to Park Truck

An Indian villager used a hammer and chisel over the span of 14 years to carve a tunnel through a rocky mountain so that he could park his truck in front of his house.

"I could not park my truck near my house since the mountain blocked my path," Ramchandra Das, 53, who lives in eastern Bihar state's Gaya district, said.

Mr Das said fear of thieves stealing his truck prompted him to work on the tunnel all by himself after authorities refused help.

"I had to leave my truck miles away, so I decided to do something about it myself," Mr Das said by telephone.

Local villagers, who had to trek for miles to get around the mountain are using the 14ft wide tunnel to reach their farms, and praising Mr Das for his work.

Mr. Potato

Maryland: Robbers Mistaken Funeral Home for Bank

Four schools locked down during incident

Calvert County authorities are searching for two masked men who robbed a funeral home and a bank Monday afternoon. The incidents forced the lock down of four schools.

The suspects first robbed the Lee Funeral Home at 8125 Southern Maryland Blvd. in Owings. The business is next to a PNC Bank.

Police believe the thieves may have mistaken the funeral home for the bank. It isn't clear what the robbers got, if anything.

The second robbery was at the SunTrust Bank in Dunkirk. A woman who works next door to the bank says one of the employees appeared to have been injured.

"We saw, I believe one of the managers get into the ambulance," said Mary Kay. "She was holding an ice pack on the back of her head."

Mr. Potato

Wisconsin: Would-Be Robber Arrives Too Late to Rob Bank

Maybe the bank robber needed the money to buy a watch.

It would seem he needed one after arriving six minutes after the Guardian Credit Union in Waukesha closed.

Police said a man wearing a ski mask entered the first set of doors at 5:36 p.m. Wednesday with a gun, apparently not realizing the bank was closed.

The second set of doors was locked and police were called but the man left before they arrived.

Waukesha Police Sgt. Jerry Habanek told The Freeman in Waukesha that police are reviewing security tapes and investigating.

Smiley

Florida: Burglar Showers, Tells Residents "Obama Let Him In"

A man accused of breaking into a Crestview home and taking a shower reportedly told residents who showed up "President Obama let him in" the house.

According to a Crestview Police Department report, St. Petersbug resident Donald Leon May, 48, entered a home in the 400 block of East Railroad Avenue Nov. 18 through an unlocked back door and took a shower.

While in the shower, two juvenile children who lived at the house entered with a friend. Thinking their dad was home, one of the children entered the bathroom and "saw a male in the shower who was not his father," the report states.

"The male in the shower stated 'Obama let him in'" and told the boy to "get out," the report continues.

The children ran to a neighbor's house and called police. When they arrived May was still in the house with nothing on but a "towel wrapped around his lower body," the report states.