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Whistle

Best of the Web: Anonymous urges followers to occupy Wall Street on 17 September

Phil Muncaster
V3
Thu, 25 Aug 2011 16:28 UTC
Occupy Wall Street
Online hacktivist collective Anonymous has lent its support to a global campaign to simultaneously occupy the major financial centres of London, New York, Madrid, Paris and other cities on 17 September in peaceful protest.

Anonymous tweeted from its @anonops account with the hashtag 'OCCUPYWALLSTREET' and linked to a poster urging its followers to assemble at the financial heart of the US, with the caveat: "Bring Tent."
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Info

Australia: Escaped Parrots Teach Wild Birds to Speak, Conspire Against Us

Stephen Messenger
The Escapist
Thu, 15 Sep 2011 19:43 UTC
parrots talking photo Photo: enlewof / cc
© enlewof / cc

Escaped parrots in Australia are teaching their wild brothers to speak - and possibly to conspire against us.

Most people think that when the apocalypse comes, it will be at the hands of the robots, or possibly the zombies. But it appears that a newer and possibly far greater threat is looming, and that humanity's doom will be wrought not by the machines nor by the undead - but by the parrots.
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Handcuffs

Area Man Arrested For Working Without Permission

michaelsuede
Libertariannews.org
Tue, 06 Sep 2011 11:07 UTC
Mr. Doug Benton was arrested yesterday after being caught in a police sting investigation aimed at catching people who attempt to produce goods and services without permission. The inter-agency effort to catch Mr. Benton was composed of law enforcement officers from the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the Department of Justice, the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco Firearms and Explosives, the Department of Agriculture, the Department of Commerce, the Department of Homeland Security, the Department of Labor, the Department of State, Child Protective Services, the State Police, the County Sheriff, and the City Police.
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Life Preserver

Ukraine: Mass break-out attempt at troubled zoo


Russia Today
Sat, 10 Sep 2011 04:26 UTC
Image
© http://ibigdan.livejournal.com
Seven rare marmots, eight porcupines and a fox have made a break for freedom, making an escape attempt from the Kiev Zoo in Ukraine, notorious for high death rates among its inmates.

The porcupines and the fox were neither prickly nor sly enough to make it far away and were intercepted near the zoo's ticket office, according to Ukraine's Segodnya newspaper.

However, the bobak marmots turned out to be more sophisticated escapees - they dug a tunnel so deep that the zookeepers still cannot reach them.

"They have burrowed a tunnel and dug in. It's natural for them. Inappropriate gauze was used during the cage construction. It has rusted and bobaks dug holes. We are trying to recover them; but the deeper we dig, the deeper they burrow," said the director of the zoo Aleksey Tolstouhov.
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Smiley

Drunk Swedish moose found in apple tree near Gothenburg


BBC
Thu, 08 Sep 2011 14:21 UTC
drunk elk
© ReutersThe elk was apparently searching for fermenting apples when she got stuck
A homeowner in southern Sweden got a shock when he found a drunken moose stuck in his neighbour's apple tree.

The moose was apparently on the hunt for fermenting apples when she lost her balance and became trapped in the tree.

Per Johansson, from Saro near Gothenburg, found the moose making a roaring noise in the garden next door.

He called the emergency services, who helped him free the boozed-up beast by sawing off branches. She spent the night recovering in the garden.

The next day she took herself off into the woods with her hangover.
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Cow

Austria: Cow barges into sports store


Short List
Tue, 06 Sep 2011 00:28 UTC
Thankfully not a china shop.

Now, after recent events we're starting to think that cows in general have hired a highly efficient new PR agency. We've seen Yvonne, the fugitive cow, the cow that managed to get his head stuck in a fence and Luna, the cow that thinks she's a horse.

The aggressive campaign to unseat cats as the most written about of all animals continues, thanks to Laura, the cow that likes to shop.
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Heart

Cuba farm dog a 2nd mom to 14 piglets, nurses young swine alongside own pup


The Associated Press
Sat, 03 Sep 2011 00:00 UTC
Image
© The Associated Press / The Canadian Press / Franklin ReyesA dog known as 'Yeti' nurses adopted piglets in Camaguey, Cuba, Friday, Sept. 2, 2011. Yeti has been pulling double-duty nursing not just her own young but also the 14 swine. According to the dog's owner Mannorkys Santamaria, no one imposed this on the dog, the piglets discovered this on their own and began nursing with her when they turned 15 days old.
Yeti the dog already had a litter of pups to care for when the piglets adopted her as a second mom.

Ever since then, the Cuban farm dog has been pulling double-duty, nursing not just her own young but also the 14 swine.

Farmer Mannorkys Santamaria said the piglets also take milk from their mothers, but when they see Yeti, they run to her for a meal. On a recent day the young porkers followed her around the farm as if she were their real mother.

"No one imposed this on the dog," Santamaria said. "The piglets discovered this on their own and began nursing with her when they turned 15 days old."
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War Whore

Satire: New Cheney Memoir Reveals He's Going To Live Full, Satisfied Life Without Ever Feeling Remorse And There's Nothing We Can Do About It


The Onion
Thu, 01 Sep 2011 21:08 UTC
Cheney
Psychopathic former Vice President, Dick Cheney
New York - The publication this week of Dick Cheney's memoir, In My Time, has revealed the former vice president enjoys a fulfilling life unaffected by any sense of guilt or regret and there's absolutely nothing any of us can do about it.

"This unique look at an otherwise intensely private man's inner thoughts shows us he couldn't be prouder of his life's work and will never feel one single moment of anguish over his actions no matter how desperately we want him to," book critic James L. Warner writes of the 576-page memoir's disclosure that Cheney would spend his retirement never second-guessing his advocacy of a disastrous war, the torture of detainees, illegal wiretapping, or tax cuts that created devastating budget deficits and crippled the U.S. economy.
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Smiley

Domino's Plans Pizza on the Moon

Julian Ryall
The Telegraph, UK
Thu, 01 Sep 2011 14:14 UTC
Pizza on the Moon?
© The Telegraph, UKConstruction firm Maeda Corp has come up with a plan for a dome-shaped concrete Domino's restaurant on the surface of the moon.

Domino's Japanese arm has proposed a branch on Earth's nearest galactic neighbour is the latest escalation in a pizza publicity war.

Rival chain Pizza Hut set the bar high in 2001 by delivering a pizza to astronauts orbiting the Earth in the International Space Station, but Domino's fought back last year in a series of events to mark the 25th anniversary of its arrival in Japan.

In December, the company paid one person Y2.5 million (£20,046) to work for one hour delivering pizzas.

The competition has been taken beyond the stratosphere now, however, with construction firm Maeda Corp coming up with a plan for a dome-shaped concrete Domino's restaurant on the surface of the moon.

The company estimates the entire project will cost Y1.67 trillion - some £13.4 billion - of which Y560 billion (£4.5 billion) will be required to transport 70 tons of construction materials and pizza-making equipment to the moon aboard 15 rockets.

Comment: Do you think they'll have gluten free, meat lover's pizza?

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USA

Satire: Tea Party Congressman Calls For Tax Breaks to Put Out Raging Wildfire in District


The Onion
Tue, 30 Aug 2011 00:00 UTC
Image
© The OnionCongressman Franks (R-AZ)
Washington - With a massive wildfire currently raging out of control in his district, Tea Party Caucus member Rep. Trent Franks (R-AZ) pressed Congress to pass immediate tax breaks Tuesday to combat the rapidly spreading blaze.

"This fire has already burned hundreds of square miles and left thousands of helpless families with only one hope: across-the-board income tax cuts and a sharply lower corporate tax rate," said Franks, stating that broad-based tax relief would spur investment and extinguish the towering flames that grow larger by the minute.

"We must act now. The longer the oppressive tax burden on honest, hardworking individuals remains unaddressed, the larger and more deadly this fire will become." According to staffers, Franks plans to honor the nine individuals who have perished in the blaze by introducing additional legislation this week that would eliminate Medicaid.
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