Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Smiley

Husband of the Year Awards

Husband of the year awards.

The honorable mention goes to: The United Kingdom:

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© Unknown
Followed closely by...The United States of America:

Smiley

Google Creates the Perfect Boyfriend: G-Male

G-Male
© Minyanville
Coming on the heels of Microsoft's slam on Google's privacy policies, feminine comedy blog Comediva produced a video featuring Mountain View's answer to the perfect boyfriend: G-Male.

Since Google knows what you need better than you do, Comediva personified Google's consistently aware services into a mate who's always one step ahead of your every want and desire, no matter how secret.

All goes according to plan, until G-Male starts becoming less like Mark Wahlberg in The Happening and more like Mark Wahlberg in Fear. Similar to Google's omnipresent web apps, G-Male begins spouting random personal tidbits which prove the relationship is far more serious than you realize.

Cow

Yvonne the Cow Still on the Run in Germany, but Field of Clues is Found

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© Marc Mueller/EPANot Yvonne. But a bit like her, apparently. And one of the sisterhood, spotted in Miesbach – which is also in Bavaria
Fugitive from slaughterhouse continues to outwit her would-be rescuers, who are battling to prevent hunters shooting the animal

Three months after Yvonne went on the run, the hunt for Germany's most famous fugitive is heating up after a search party discovered a sign of her wanderings - a field littered with cowpats.

Yvonne, a six-year-old dairy cow, escaped from a Bavarian farm in May days before she was due to be slaughtered.

When the local authorities in Mühldorf gave hunters permission to shoot her on sight, animal rights activists waded in.

Binoculars

US: Squirrel Blamed for Flag Thefts from Ohio Memorial

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© Toledo Police/James BrownToledo police Lt. James Brown caught the furry thief with the goods as the officer was walking into the office Wednesday. He snapped the critter with his cell phone.
Furry thief last seen hightailing it back to the nest

It's not every day Toledo police catch a thief in the act, let alone with a uniformed command officer standing just feet away, watching.

But that's exactly what happened Wednesday.

For days, officers noticed that small flags were disappearing from the Toledo Police Memorial Garden at the Civic Mall, between the municipal and federal courthouses downtown. There were no suspects, no clues left at the scene to help police catch the perpetrator.

But about 7:15 a.m. Wednesday, walking into the office, Lieutenants James Brown and Mark King watched the bandit take a flag -- and a single pink plastic flower -- from the garden.

"I just saw him eyeballing it," Lieutenant Brown said. "He didn't know I was standing there."

The quick-thinking officer pulled out his cell phone to snap a picture.

Lieutenant Brown got his man. Or, well, his squirrel.

Smiley

Arizona, US: Street Sign Warns of "Rogue Panda"

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© Jake Bacon/Arizona Daily SunA highway sign on Fort Valley Road warns passing motorists of a rogue Panda Bear on the rampage Monday morning.
Fort Valley Road is no panda express.

Local drivers making their morning commute Monday were greeted by an electronic sign along the busy stretch of road warning of a "rogue panda on rampage."

But rest easy, panda-phobes: It was a prank.

The Arizona Department of Transportation-controlled sign near the intersection of Fort Valley Road and Forest Avenue has been warning drivers about no left turns at the intersection. But at some point hackers took control to tell residents to be on the lookout for an Ailuropoda melanoleuca, also known as a giant panda.

Authorities said there is no cause for concern.

Arrow Up

The world mobile phone-throwing championships

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© APA/EPA

Yesterday saw the world mobile phone-throwing championships being held in Finland.

The Finns unsurprisingly took most of the glory. The men's, women's, and junior events all went to Finnish competitors, only the freestyle event was won by a foreigner.

Oskari Heinonen won the men's event with a throw of 76 metres, Netta Karvinen took women's title with a rather piss-poor 48 metres. Muusa Makkonen won the junior title with 35 metres, a good nine metres further than her nearest rival.

The freestyle event was won by an Australian woman, Elaine Jung was awarded points for her throw, based on style and aesthetics.

Competitors are permitted to use any make and model of mobile phone, they must make two throws and the best effort is counted as their throw.

Smiley

"Madoff on Ethics" Actually Wouldn't Be the Silliest Course at Harvard

Madoff
© Minyanville
So, it seems that Bernie Madoff told Charlie Gasparino of Fox Business that Harvard University asked for his input "to develop a course in business ethics."

Writes Gasparino:
The course, according to Madoff, will focus "around my experiences building my market making and Prop trading business and my role in NASDAQ and electronic trading. I have been approached by number of other business schools but have only committed to Harvard."
Ridiculous as it may sound, "Bernie Madoff on Ethics" wouldn't really be the silliest course ever taught at Harvard.

Megaphone

Say Something Nice

For our latest mission we constructed a custom wooden lectern with a megaphone holster and an attached sign that read, "Say Something Nice." The lectern was placed in public spaces around New York and then left alone. We wanted to see what would happen if New Yorkers were given the opportunity to amplify their voices to "say something nice."


Say Something Nice was produced by Improv Everywhere as part of the Guggenheim Museum exhibition stillspotting nyc. This is our second collaboration in the series, the first being The Mute Button.

Dollar

US Georgia: Dog Eats $10K Worth of Diamonds

A Georgia dog apparently has a taste for the finer things in life.

The pooch dined on a meal of $10,000 worth of diamonds.

Honey Bun often walks the counters at John Ross Jewelers.

He's not much of a guard dog, but he is great with customer relations.

"He's been loved," said co-owner Chuck Roberts.

Customers sometimes hide treats in their purse for Honey Bun, but the Roberts' recently learned this pampered pooch has more expensive taste.

Star

Photo: Astronauts Planking in Space

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© NASA
Four members of the joint STS-135/Expedition 28 crews are able to spend part of their last shared time onboard the International Space Station performing floating exercises that can't be done in Earth's gravity. Inside the Harmony Node 2 module, are NASA astronauts Mike Fossum (top), Expedition 28 flight engineer, and Doug Hurley, STS-135 pilot; and Ron Garan, Expedition 28 flight engineer. The crew member at bottom is partially obscured and is unidentified.