Psychopathic former Vice President, Dick Cheney
"This unique look at an otherwise intensely private man's inner thoughts shows us he couldn't be prouder of his life's work and will never feel one single moment of anguish over his actions no matter how desperately we want him to," book critic James L. Warner writes of the 576-page memoir's disclosure that Cheney would spend his retirement never second-guessing his advocacy of a disastrous war, the torture of detainees, illegal wiretapping, or tax cuts that created devastating budget deficits and crippled the U.S. economy.
"Nothing we do will ever change the fact that this man sleeps very soundly at night and, in fact, looks back fondly upon a long, rewarding career. You almost have to admire that." The book also reveals that none of the former vice president's five heart attacks has caused him even the slightest amount of pain.
As hard as the Onion tries - and it's usually devastatingly accurate - it can't satirize Dick Cheney and this lying, revisionist historical memoir.
Astute observers are already picking his bones, scholars will marvel at his capacity for denying the truth and making up his own fascist reality, and historians will rank this motherfucking son-of-a-bitch draft dodging war criminal and profiteer right up there with Stalin, Hitler, Mao, Pol Pot.