Don't Panic! Lighten Up!

With pandemic winding down, people who yell at others to wear masks in danger of never feeling important again

The Babylon Bee
Mon, 01 Mar 2021 19:40 UTC

There's a light at the end of the tunnel for the pandemic as vaccine distribution continues to increase, and soon the whole ordeal will be over. While most people are celebrating this development, it has filled others with worry -- especially those who have taken it upon themselves to yell at people who aren't wearing masks. They have a sinking feeling they're never going to feel important ever again.

"I've never felt so alive as when I've gotten in people's faces, saying, 'Where's your mask?! Where's your mask?!'" said Karen Hughes. "I'm basically stopping murderers. And, let's face it, with my lack of skills and annoying personality, this is the highlight of my life."

"This has given me purpose and meaning," agreed Karen Boyd. "Usually, I'm looked at as some sort of witch when I scream at kids, but now I have a reason backed by the CDC. I'm a hero. But when the pandemic is over, I'll go back to being a crazy lady."

"I don't think I have the ability to do anything else," said Bob "Karen" Shelton. "What else can I yell at people about? 'Wear sunscreen?!' I dunno. And I was just getting so good at mask policing. I was yelling at people for only wearing one mask. 'Why don't you have two?!' I'd shout. But those days are ending."

The mask-yellers do have some hope that masks will become a habit during flu season, which at least gives them an annual reason to harass random passersby.

Reader Comments

Christian83 · 2021-03-07T21:25:46Z

If people call their kids Karen since the infamous rise of the Karen then that has to be the most passive aggressive child abuse ever.

Animanarchy · 2021-03-08T18:07:12Z

Christian83 I can't remember clearly but I read somewhere that, maybe in a state, there was only a single baby named Karen in the first couple months or so of 2020 as the parents were unaware of the connotation until after the christening.

Christian83 · 2021-03-08T20:03:43Z

Animanarchy Oh that poor child! Oops!

ReRan · 2021-03-08T00:02:03Z

This is actually funny! I'm figuring out to use this idea defensively.

Rowan Cocoan · 2021-03-09T07:19:46Z

I had the pleasure of such shit recently.

R.C.

klokman · 2021-03-12T22:07:21Z

Rowan Cocoan How did you handle the situation?

Rowan Cocoan · 2021-03-12T22:09:24Z

klokman Please see comments here:

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klokman · 2021-03-12T22:46:19Z

Rowan Cocoan Short and POIgnaNT. Probably the most unexpected juncture in my life was to live in a time where most of the barnyard inhabitants are Chicken Littles, and they've thrown out the Steward and overturned the operation.

As kids when first introduced to that story, so many of us laughed. Same with The Emperor's New Clothes. Yet here we are. It really hit home a few years back when I attended an impromptu 45th HS reunion (first and last). I had been of the impression for years that those classmates were a cut above most in the valley. I'd hazard <5% of them had ever questioned what they had been ~~taught~~ indoctrinated, and were still pedaling the same old pablum approaching retirement.

When I pass, I'm going on a Galactic Walkabout. A tour to see just how many souls in the Universe have awakened.

Rowan Cocoan · 2021-03-13T00:21:06Z

klokman Except here at SOTT, it surely has been a pretty damn lonely place.

A quick calculation would indicate you graduated HS around 72? (Me, 77*.) May I ask where you are from? (If I've asked before, I apologize; I guess I should keep a list but I haven't and don't expect to. I do know, for example, that BBub is from AZ, that LM is from Canada, HFL is from London, etc. Me? I'm from Florida, plus see my name for more specificity. Only answer if you wish, of course - or, simply ignore the question (and, as always, I mean exactly what I say/write, and usually no more. That's why I always declare 'sarcasm' or ' ', etc.) I'm going to bet that you agree with this, I know I do: no one here owes anyone else anything other than simple courtesy.

How did you deal with Vietnam? That kept getting close for us. (I think of you as American.) BTW, both my parents and all my siblings and almost all of their spouses were or are rocket engineers or such, except one SIL.

Thanks!

RC

*UF 80'. Law 85.

rc

klokman · 2021-03-13T00:33:31Z

Rowan Cocoan Lonely here at SOTT? I thought this was where all the like-minded, No BS'ers hung out.

Graduated in '68. The HS school in question was in Utah, though I attended four, graduating in Indio CA. Attended Weber State/U of U during 70's and 80s. Picked up a degree in Science & Tech/Elect Technology.

Still trying to figure out some of the emoji meanings.

Yep, say what you mean, mean what you say, and mutual understanding is paramount. If I piss somebody off, its more than likely we're just not on the same page yet.

Rowan Cocoan · 2021-03-13T00:36:16Z

klokman Thanks!

I'm confused as to SOTT lonely, etc. I wrote:

"Except here at SOTT, it surely has been a pretty damn lonely place."

klokman · 2021-03-13T00:44:16Z

Rowan Cocoan Case in point, lonely place. I mistakenly took that to mean SOTT, when apparently you meant the world we live in. At least in my mind there are 2 ways to view "except". This is why I've always had trouble with formal ~~education~~ indoctrination.

Damned English.

Rowan Cocoan · 2021-03-13T01:11:17Z

klokman Thanks. As re English, per Steven Wright, only in English could one park on a driveway and drive on a parkway. RC

klokman · 2021-03-13T01:28:03Z

Rowan Cocoan Such does happen in other languages, but not as frequently as English, a mongrel language. Nowhere is it more glaring that sitting in a foreign theater, watching an American movie, and hearing the locals laugh at something that Americans do not find funny, and then being one or two Americans in a theater filled with natives, and laughing one's head off while they're all staring at you wondering if you're OK.

klokman · 2021-03-14T01:37:12Z

Rowan Cocoan Sometimes certain things stick with me through the night,

I'm a melancholy man

That's what I am

All the world surrounds me and my feet are on the ground

I'm a very lonely man

Doing what I can

All the world astounds me and I think I understand

That we're going to keep growing

Wait and see

When all the stars are falling down

Into the sea and on the ground

And angry voices carry on the wind

A beam of light will fill your head

And you'll remember what's been said

By all the good men this world's ever known

Another man is what you'll see

Who looks like you and looks like me

And yet, somehow he will not feel the same

His life caught up in misery

He doesn't think like you and me

'Cause he can't see what you and I can see

When all the stars are falling down

Into the sea and on the ground

And angry voices carry on the wind

A beam of light will fill your head

And you'll remember what's been said

By all the good men this world's ever known

Another man is what you'll see

Who looks like you and looks like me

And yet, somehow he will not feel the same

His life caught up in misery

He doesn't think like you and me

'Cause he can't see what you and I can see

I'm a melancholy man

That's what I am

All the world surrounds me...

I'm a very lonely man

Just doing what I can

All the world astounds me and I think I understand

That we're going to keep growing

Just wait and see

Wait and see

That we're going to keep growing

Just you wait and see

It's comin'! Just wait

Just you wait and see

I'm a melancholy man

That's what I am

Just doing what I can

Rowan Cocoan · 2021-03-14T03:51:46Z

klokman I just had to look that up; it 'sounded' familiar; Moody Blues, here: [Link] Actually, I think I still have that LP album (Question of Balance) which I've not listened to in over 35 years. (I'm listening to it and remembering the tune, the rondo parts, etc. I know the lyrics before they're said. My big sister loves the MB's.)

Thanks! RC

klokman · 2021-03-15T22:48:31Z

Rowan Cocoan I digitized all my recordings. Still listening to them after nearly 50 yrs. My favorite is the last one I believe, Octave.