Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Boy's Calls to 911 Lead to Mom's Arrest

VANCOUVER, Wash. - An 8-year-old boy riding in a car with his mom called 911 several times to report that she wasn't "acting normal," leading to her arrest for investigation of drunken driving and other charges, authorities said.


Parrot Imitates Fire Alarm, Saves Family

MUNCIE, Ind. - A noisy parrot that likes to imitate sounds helped save a man and his son from a house fire by mocking a smoke alarm, the bird's owner says.


Japanese dress like vending machines to avoid crime

©New York Times
How not to be seen.

Although crime rates are actually decreasing in Japan, an experimental fashion designer has found a new way to shield herself from any potential attackers - by dressing like a vending machine to blend into the Tokyo surroundings.

Aya Tsukioka invented the strange design in the hope that it will ease Japan's increasing fear of crime.

Comment: Can we expect assorted alphabet agency spooks to take this idea on?


Glam grannies vie for pageant crown in Brooklyn

New York - Pageantry proved ageless on Friday night as a bevy of Brooklyn grandmothers competed in the sixth annual Your Highness Grandmother Beauty contest.

©REUTERS/Mike Segar
Participants Galina Ostrowics (L) and Anna Malkina-Shumayev (R) pose after winning "Ms Grandmother" and "Ms Queen Grandmother" at the 2007 "Your Highness Grandmother" pageant in Brooklyn, New York, October 20, 2007.

Magic Wand

J.K. Rowling outs Hogwarts character

"Dumbledore is gay," the author announced to a crowd of fans.

Comment: The HP book series has ended, but, as is their way, the author, publishers and entertainers keep mining the topic, and the fan's interest, for more cash through movies, licensed merchandise, etc. To do that, they seem to have employed a perennial favorite, polarizing topic. Or, it could just be that Dumbledore has always been gay - either way, a fictional character in a fictional world gets much more attention than reality. As usual - the world is burning and millions of people would rather ponder this than pay attention.


New Zealand brewery offers lifetime supply of beer for stolen laptop

A New Zealand brewery is reportedly offering a lifetime supply of beer for the return of a stolen laptop.

Local media said the laptop was stolen from the Croucher Brewing Company in the central North Island city of Rotorua earlier this week.

Owners were desperate to retrieve the computer containing designs, contact details and financial information, the Rotorua Daily Post said.


Australia: Drunk tourist sleeps off croc attack

A tourist who had drunk 12 cans of beers before being attacked by a crocodile while swimming in a Queensland river fell asleep at his campsite before going to hospital for treatment.

Matt Martin was camping in an area of the northeastern state of Queensland known to be inhabited by crocodiles when he drank what he later described as half a slab - or 12 cans of beer.

When he dived into the river at Cow Bay in the topical far north of the state, he landed on a crocodile.

Bad Guys

Proposed (Classified) Bill Will Defend Against Flesh-Eating (Classified) - a parody

Rep. John Haller (R-PA) introduces a bill that will allocate (classified) dollars over the next (classified) years to fight flesh-eating (classified).


China's Great Wall gets first major fashion show

Built centuries ago to keep out the barbarian hoards, China's Great Wall was lit up on Friday with its first ever big-name fashion show.

©REUTERS/David Gray
A model is assisted off the catwalk while wearing a dress by fashion label Fendi at sunset on the Great Wall of China near Beijing October 19, 2007.


Pope John Paul II 'appears' in bonfire vision

From Mother Theresa in a cinammon bun, to the Virgin Mary on a toasted cheese sandwich - images resembling religious icons are regularly spotted in unlikely places.