Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Smiley

Bush shoots Iraqi insurgents - virtually


Middle East Online
Fri, 09 Nov 2007 19:14 UTC


©n/a
At least virtually Bush has chance of victory

WACO, Texas - US President George W. Bush had a shoot-out with the "bad guys" in Iraq on Thursday, playing a computer game with war veterans that simulates a firefight in Baghdad, the White House said.
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Bizarro Earth

South Carolina couple find secret moldy room


Associated Press
Fri, 02 Nov 2007 09:42 UTC
Kerri and Jason Brown discovered a secret room behind a bookcase containing a homeowner's worst nightmare - mold. Also in the room was a handwritten note: "You found it!" What the Browns found was a mold problem so serious the previous owner was forced to move, according to the note.
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Bizarro Earth

Texan sets record with 87 snakes in tub


Associated Press
Mon, 05 Nov 2007 09:37 UTC
DUBLIN, Texas - Another day, another bizarre world record for Jackie Bibby, the "Texas Snake Man." Bibby spent about 45 minutes in a see-through bathtub with 87 rattlesnakes Monday, fully clothed, shattering his own record by 12 snakes just in time for Guinness World Records Day, which is Thursday. A Guinness official certified the record.
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Wine

Greek pilots refuse to transport Russian soccer fans


RIA Novosti
Sat, 10 Nov 2007 08:45 UTC
Russian soccer fans have spent more than 24 hours at an airport in central Greece after pilots refused to transport them, an airport spokesperson said Saturday.
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Smiley

German flasher strips off in court

Dave Graham
Reuters
Fri, 09 Nov 2007 12:12 UTC
A German flasher stunned lawyers during his appeal hearing on a flashing conviction by stripping off in court, authorities said on Thursday.

"The court withdrew for deliberations and during the adjournment the man removed his clothes again," said a spokesman for the court in the western city of Duisburg. "It appears he sees it as art, and views himself as a living work of art."
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Smiley

Germany: Man forgets car at petrol station

Dave Graham
Reuters
Fri, 09 Nov 2007 11:45 UTC
A German man forgot his car after filling it up at a petrol station, police said on Friday.

"He just forgot about it and walked off home," said a spokesman for police in the western city of Wuppertal.
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Cut

Tattoos and shaved heads out for China judges


Reuters
Fri, 09 Nov 2007 11:32 UTC
A court in central China has banned on-duty judges from wearing heavy makeup and "frolicking" with colleagues, in an exhaustive list of 55 regulations to improve judicial etiquette.

A notice issued by the high court of Henan, the top judicial authority in the heartland province, also banned judges using certain phrases in the courtroom, including: "Are you the judge or am I?" -- and "You will certainly lose this case."

Judges would not be allowed to wear jewels, Friday's Beijing Times said, citing court spokesman Xie De'an. Holding hands with colleagues is also out, he said.
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Bulb

Texas Border Agents Find Man in Suitcase


Associated Press
Thu, 08 Nov 2007 23:54 UTC
EL PASO, Texas - A man hiding in a suitcase and a driver have been detained by Customs and Border Protection officers after a failed smuggling attempt. Authorities believe both men were headed for Denver.
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Smiley

Bush, Sarkozy Meeting Causes Zionists to Laugh Their Asses Off

Felix Minderbinder Live Wire
TheSpoof
Thu, 08 Nov 2007 22:51 UTC
As Washington rolled out the red carpet for French President Nicolas Sarkozy, Zionists everywhere laughed their asses off at the meeting of their two puppets Bush and Sarko.

Comment: The interesting thing about this parody is that there is more truth in it than fiction.

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Question

US: Mysterious grave robbery puzzles New Hampshire town

Martin Finucane
The Boston Globe
Wed, 07 Nov 2007 17:04 UTC
After she died in 1824 at the age of 30, Sarah Symonds rested in an out-of-the-way cemetery in the small town of Hillsborough, N.H., for nearly 200 years.

But sometime around Halloween her sleep was disturbed. Someone dug up her coffin and her remains, leaving behind only a few shards of wood, a meticulously dug hole -- and a mystery for the local police.

©Gilman Shattuck
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