Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Smiley

Flashback Alarming report: Iran Less Than 10 Years Away From 2016

Satire

According to an alarming new Department of Defense report combining civilian, military, and calendric evidence, Iran may be as few as nine years away from the year 2016.

Question

Store Ad: Delicious Chanukah Hams

NYC Grocery Store Advertises Hams As 'Delicious for Chanukah'

This was REALLY not kosher. A grocery store in Manhattan made a food faux pas, advertising hams as "Delicious for Chanukah."

Video

Did Super Size Me man find Osama bin Laden?

Rumours continue to spread that documentary-maker Morgan Spurlock, of Super Size Me fame, has found Osama bin Laden.

©Brisbane Times
Did Morgan Spurlock find Osama bin Laden?

Cowboy Hat

Fight Sanity: Kangaroo farts 'could fight global warming'

Australian scientists are trying to give kangaroo-style stomachs to cattle and sheep in a bid to cut the emission of greenhouse gases blamed for global warming, researchers say.

©ninemsn
When asked for comment, the kangaroos did not seem to understand what all the fuss was about.

Comment: They are cute, they are fit - and they are quite tasty. Now Australian kangaroos are on a mission to save the planet with their marvelous rear wind. The fun never stops...

...Sanity refused to comment.


Smiley

Toddler fools the art world into buying his tomato ketchup paintings



©Julian Andrews
The toddler with some of his creations: Freddie is said to favour the 'spot and blotch' technique

To the untrained eye, they appear to be simple daubs that could have been created by a two year old. Which is precisely what they are. But that didn't stop the supposed experts falling over themselves to acclaim them.

The toddler in question is Freddie Linsky, who has fooled the art world into buying and asking to exhibit his paintings.

Pistol

Barking Mad! Rich U.S. dog hiding after death threats

A dog that inherited $12m (£5.8m) from late New York hotelier Leona Helmsley is in hiding after it was targeted by death threats, US media say.

Roses

Day-release convicts caught with drug crop



©REUTERS/Mike Hutchings
The sun shines though the distinctively shaped leaves of marijuana plants May 24, 2005.

Two convicts on day-release from a German prison were caught tending their illegal cannabis crop in an empty warehouse nearby, German authorities said on Monday.

Penis Pump

Man Accused of Swiping Blow-Up Dolls

MADISON, Wis. - A man accused of stealing several blow-up dolls from an adult novelty store says the burglary was a "drunken, stupid thing."

Snowman

Moscow student asks Santa to freeze his lecturers

A Moscow university student has sent a letter to Ded Moroz, Russia's version of Santa Claus, asking him to freeze all his lecturers, a source in Santa's official residence said on Tuesday.

Ded Moroz, whose official residence is near the Russian town of Veliky Ustyug, about 800 kms (500 miles) northeast of Moscow, comes to his temporary residence in Moscow's Kuzminskiy Park every November. This year he has so far received a total of 4,500 e-mails and 1,500 letters.

"A Moscow university student asked the New Year wizard to freeze all his lecturers for the period of mid-year exams," the source said.

Monkey Wrench

Chimps Beat Humans on Memory Tasks



©Tetsuro Matsuzawa/ Kyoto/ Primate Research Institute/ AP Photo
This photo provided by the Primate Research Institute in Kyoto, Japan, show a chimpanzee named Ayumu as he performs the second stage of a memory test. The chimp must recall the location on a touch sensitive monitor of numerals that have changed to squares.

In a memory competition of man versus chimp, Japanese researchers found that chimpanzees performed better than humans.