Don't Panic! Lighten Up!

Helpful Psaki gifts reporters with a list of questions to ask her

The Babylon Bee
Wed, 03 Feb 2021 08:34 UTC

Many of the White House correspondents are finding White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki to be much more accommodating than the previous administration's press secretary. She's so accommodating that she saves the reporter's work by coming up with the questions they're allowed to ask her.

"Here are some good questions for you," Psaki told the reporters ahead of the latest press conference. "Make sure to ask this one about how good we are at the vaccine rollout."

"Wow! This saves us so much work!" said the reporters. "Thank you so much!"

"Oh, I did have a question about Hunter Biden, but that isn't on here," said a Washington Post reporter.

Psaki rolled up a paper and hit the reporter on the head. "No! Bad! No!"

"I'm sorry!" the reporter whimpered. "Please love me!"

Hearing how helpful Psaki is, CNN's Brian Stelter remarked, "How refreshing!" -- though Stelter was not allowed to ask any questions himself, as Psaki said he is "too creepy."

Comment: After 4 years of struggle under the "tyranny" of Donald Trump and his administration, democracy is finally back in the USA! Which means you get to ask only what is permitted to ask, cease thinking critically and let the government decide what is best for you.

If the regime had its way, we'd all just pretend that we don't see what's going on and enjoy "democracy".

Reader Comments

codis · 2021-02-05T08:56:08Z

I can understand. All those Affirmative-Action-hired journaille need a little kickstart to get going.

So, why not use approved methods. As a slogan from my long-gone youth said :"Learning from the Soviet Union means learning to triumph."

("Von der Sowietunion lernen heißt siegen lernen"). Anyone remember ...

Rowan Cocoan · 2021-02-05T18:07:27Z

codis, supra: I remember from this side. The worst commies of all were from East Germany. True. That's how it was pitched. I was the politically curious sort who would then hold up my hand and ask questions about the US and our 'formerly' fascist post-WWII 'allies'. In reply I always heard: "Well, I guess politics makes for strange bedfellows." I'd say, "that's begging the question, not answering it!" The teacher would then say, "Next!"

(You know I'm agreeing with you, etc.)

I was lucky to have parents who would asked questions like: "Well what if your Grandma had ended up stuck in Germany rather than emigrating to America?"

"I'm sorry!" the reporter whimpered. "Please love me!" Exactly!

Hearing how helpful Psaki is, CNN's Brian Stelter remarked, "How refreshing!" -- though Stelter was not allowed to ask any questions himself, as Psaki said he is "too creepy."

It's all too much.

RC

Tiu · 2021-02-05T18:20:22Z

Even if a journalist did ask a tough question, or do some investigative reporting, the MSM industry bosses wouldn't publish anything that didn't fit the narrative.