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Everyday I am thankful, because everyday I have something to be outraged about. Thanks to that bastion of truthfulness and objectivity - the Washington Post - I now have 3,001 more things to be outraged about: President Trump, they claim, has made precisely 3,001 false or misleading claims so far in his presidency. That should last me until middle age. If he keeps it up, at this rate I should be set for life. And for that I'm super thankful. For without WaPo's studious fact-checking, I might otherwise neglect to be outraged that Donald Trump said not once, not twice, but a full twenty-nine times that the U.S. trade deficit with China is $500 billion, instead of $300 billion. Can anyone truly read that without the blood flowing to the face? Without one's delicate hands clenching into outraged fists?

What about the fact - the FACT, dagnabbit - that Trump had the audacity to claim that FDR served as president for 16 years, when he only served 12? Surely an involuntary guttural cry is beginning to escape the sanctified space of your larynx. No? Well what about the time he said Henry Ford invented the assembly line? Henry Ford! Everyone knows it was Ransom Eli Olds. Well, maybe not everyone knows that. But they should. And I'm ready to smash something breakable now that I know that Trump didn't know that too.

I was unaware that Donald Trump plays loose with the facts and tends to wildly exaggerate. That comes as a complete surprise to me. I had no idea he was a bombastic persuasion peddler. But in his 466 days since taking office, WaPo sez, he has made "false or misleading" claims an average of 6.5 times per day. WaPo even has an interactive graphic displaying the ebb and flow of his fibs.

washington post trump

The crew at WaPo have apparently spent the last 18 months hanging onto Trump's every word. There's obsessed, and then there's batsh*t crazy
Was Trump's tax cut really the "biggest"? Nope. Is the Russia probe a made-up controversy? Not according to WaPo. I'm glad to know that they know what Special Counsel Mueller himself does not. It's reassuring. I am also reassured that they have the ability to read minds. Because when Trump says Democrats don't really care about DACA, WaPo knows he's lying, and that Democrats really do care about DACA. Or maybe he can just read minds too. I don't know. Because unlike Trump and WaPo, alas, I cannot read minds.

But wait a second. Something is amiss. I am sure Trump has told more than 3001 lies. But when searching through the WaPo database, I can find no record of them. What about that time Trump said Syrian President Assad killed babies with chemical weapons - twice - when Assad most certainly did no such thing? That lie is nowhere to be found in WaPo's otherwise exceptional list. Even Defense Secretary Mattis admitted there was no evidence for those claims.

What about those times Trump called Iran the greatest sponsor of international terrorism, when that benefaction must surely go to U.S. ally Saudi Arabia? Or what about all those lies of omission? What about his refusal to tell the truth about Saudi Arabia or Israel? And what about all those times Trump tells the truth - or something closely approximating it? Like when he calls out regime-change, foreign interventionism, costly useless wars overseas, and anti-Russian hysteria? And what about all the lies peddled by the FBI, the Democrat and Republican establishments, and the very media of which WaPo is a member?

Is it possible WaPo is just nitpicking? Is it possible they are holding Trump's feet to the fire for a litany of things that don't matter very much at all, but opting to remain silent about the actual whoppers Trump tells, and for which he should truly be held accountable? And choosing to ignore or disagree with all the things he says that actually make sense? No, I must be becoming unreasonably outraged. WaPo would never do such a thing, and if they were to compile such a list for his predecessors and every other world leader, I am sure they would find them to be paragons of verbal virtue - uttering only pristine truth.

As they do for this Trump 'lie':
"He falsely claimed that Democrats colluded with the Russians, and the whole probe started with "a document that was paid for by the DNC [Democratic National Committee] and Hillary Clinton." But the DNC was a victim of Russian activities, as its emails were hacked and then released via WikiLeaks."
Because the Democrats absolutely did not collude with the Russians - even when they did. And the DNC absolutely WAS a victim of "Russian activities" (whatever that means) - even when they weren't. It is clear that WaPo does not have an agenda here.

So in the spirit of lists, here is a list of things the WaPo list absolutely is NOT:
  • It is not a list of trivial exaggerations and misstatements of fact.
  • It is not a list that excludes all the actual lies that happen to matter.
  • It is not a list that takes actual truths and counters them by repeating mainstream lies in order to bolster the establishment's own agenda.
  • It is not biased in any way whatsoever.
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