Windfarm
Having closed the coal mines, shut most of our coal-fired power stations, and having neglected to build more nuclear power stations, all the while erecting wind turbines that produce enough electricity each day to boil a kettle, I see that the British Government has come up with a novel way of dealing with the power cuts that are likely to hit us. You might think it would be left to the Energy Secretary to reveal the new plan of how we are to cope during the blackouts, but strangely the role appears to have been passed to the Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson.

Here's the strategy:
"What they [Russia] are looking at doing is they are going to be thinking 'How can we just cause so much pain to Britain? Damage its economy, rip its infrastructure apart, actually cause thousands and thousands and thousands of deaths, but actually have an element of creating total chaos within the country.' They are looking at these things because they are saying these are the ways that we can hurt Britain. If we lost our interconnectors, which would be something that we know that they are looking at, there would be 3 million homes without electricity. In a few years' time there will be 8 million homes that would be dependent. If you could imagine the domestic and industrial chaos that this would actually cause. What they would do is cause the chaos and then step back. This is the real threat that I believe the country is facing at the moment."
There we have the British Government's new energy strategy in a nutshell: When the power cuts come, blame it on the Russians.

You have to admit it's a brilliant strategy. It kills so many birds with one stone. It means we can continue shutting down perfectly good power stations in order to make ourselves feel good about ourselves that we are apparently "saving the planet". It means that when the power cuts come, the Government won't have to give an account for their pathetically inadequate planning over many years. And of course it means we can continue to pretend that the Russians are the source of all our inadequacies, woes and descent into a "Third-World Apple Monarchy". I mean they come over here and hack our elections (actually they didn't), invade our airspace (actually they don't), and nick our electricity (actually they won't).

Of course Mr Williamson offered nothing so much as evidence to back up his risible claims. How could he, when there is none? Then again, he doesn't have to. He and his fellow Cabinet members know they can spout all manner of deranged tosh about the Russians, and the toadying media will write it down as if it were worthy of being taken seriously, rather than the pathetic joke it is.

But just in case anyone is foolish enough to take this absurd propagandist's claims seriously, a moment's reflection on an incident at the end of last year ought to cure you of the notion. When a crucial North Sea pipeline cracked in December, and a gas distribution hub in Austria was hit by an explosion, where did Britain turn to avoid an energy shortage in the middle of winter? Go on guess. Okay I'll tell you. They very quietly paid the Russian company Novatek, for a consignment of Liquid Natural Gas. Isn't that interesting? The same Russians who want to "damage our economy, rip our infrastructure apart, and cause thousands and thousands and thousands of deaths," sold us some energy. No doubt Mr Williamson would point out that they made us pay for it, and therefore it was all part of a sinister plot to exploit us for their own dastardly financial gain.

So when the blackouts eventually come, which they will if we continue to neglect our energy infrastructure, don't be surprised to hear the cry of "It was the Russians, it was the Russians, it was the Russians wot did it." Except it won't be the Russians. It'll be the mad people who have run Britain for the last 20-odd years. A select club of misfits to whom Gavin Williamson has now well and truly established his membership.