Cute Fox
Proving the rule that you should never trust an English politician, a majority of members of Theresa May's Tory Government have voted that all animals have no emotions or feelings, including the ability to feel pain.

As part of the process of shaping the EU Withdrawal Bill, the English government has decided to scrap EU legislation that sees animals as sentient beings, opening the way for a return to the favorite sport of the quintessential Englishman and woman: torturing and killing innocent creatures.

Once the English leave the EU in 2019 (and the rest of Europe heaves a collective sigh of relief), it will not only be badgers and foxes - the traditional quarry of brain-damaged English toffs - that will be threatened by this change in law, but all animals that aren't pets (although pets across England should be very worried).

The vote comes in contrast to extensive scientific evidence that shows that animals do have feelings and emotions, some even stronger than ours. Then again, the English elite never did let facts get in the way of a nice bit of brutalization of the defenseless.

The staggering arrogance and cruelty that informs this decision exposes the fact that most English MPs have significantly less conscience and compassion than the average alligator.

Inside sources tell us that this vote was motivated in part by a desire among English MPs to increase funding for cosmetic testing on animals in an effort to find a way to prevent the average person from vomiting every time Theresa May appears on television.

No one should, of course, be surprised by this turn of events given the long history of English exploitation and persecution of anything and anyone naive enough to stand still long enough.