Date: 11th January, 2008 - Tel-Aviv, Israel.
Ms. Maigret, special SOTT corespondent, reports on a successful attempt to track down and initiate contact with a mysterious Penguin apparition. The following text is a transcript of the answers given to the corespondent, including commentary and exclusive pictures of the sacred city tour.

There are times when we are faced with an undeniable reality, with something we can't really shove under the rug or stick into the dusty closet with the rest of the skeletons. As a rule, such events usually lead to cataclysms of a personal or global nature, when the way we choose to deal with them may actually determine the outcome. And because evidently we are approaching such a period, there is a need to take steps that were inadvisable otherwise. Like a decision to share with you, dear SOTT readers, my true identity and mission on this third rock from the Sun.

The Universe works in mysterious but incredibly simple (in a grand scheme of things) ways. It made a calculated, yet highly incidental move and introduced the concept of Observer. But let's not dwell too much in the realm of Quantum fields with Quantum cows, instead let's hurry and concentrate on separating the wheat from the chaff before they eat it all!

My name is Pen Guinn, and my purpose on this planet is the deepest secret you will ever know. Many have tried to uncover my identity. Countless books (Such as: "A Monument to the End of Lunch Time: Alchemy, Pen Guinn and the Great Cross" and "The Gnostic Science of Alchemy: Pen Guinn is Number 1?") were written in an attempt to gain access to this knowledge. Fools! They will always fail, because no one can impose his will and dirty little desires on the Universe. It's the Universe that usually presents us with lessons when we least expect them. I am sure they don't expect that, eh?

Great masters who were allowed to penetrate the mystery left a clue by calling me a "journeyman", so only those who possessed the highest ability of perspicacity could get the obvious fact that I was not a man but a Penguin: an embodiment and a symbol of the divine language of the birds! So those who are able to SEE would recognize my presence for what it is. Such was my encounter with Zelator Extraordinaire.

As for the most guarded secret: my presence here is to observe. I have always been here, witnessing and following the emerging patterns of entropy and occasional sparks of creativity. That's how I found this beacon of light: SOTT, dedicated to the Truth and Objectivity. And I have been at their service ever since, traveling around the world and collecting data on the human condition and those particular aspects that allow humans to fall so easily under the influence of "mass hypnosis".

My nature is of an objective reality, so during my journey I didn't require any special disguise, due to the fact that this realm is literally saturated with the best disguise ever, called wishful thinking. Most of the time I was not seen at all, because unfortunately (and quite conveniently in my case) people don't want to see things as they are.

In other cases they saw what they wanted to see: a chair with no legs... Prince Charming...

or The Woman in Red.

All in all, there were no cracks, and I was allowed to carry out my mission under the radar of the General Law.

This time I found myself in the location of the destructive and entropic pattern of a particular intensity. It is indeed an interesting - and a bit cheeky, from the Universe's perspective - state of affairs that a revelation about my real nature is done in a place where tales (read lies) were easy to sew/sow, when the past is ours only to know.

In this case, Tel Aviv is a good example of an extreme disconnect from reality, when even the suffering and death of the people in concentration camps only 70km away can't burst the persistent apathetic bubble. To make matters worse, Tel Aviv residents see themselves as tolerant, liberal, bohemian, environmentally conscious and as nice people in general, so it shouldn't surprise you that my natural disguise was particularly successful or even charming.

Our first destination was an American Empire outpost (Headquarters of the local Shock Doctrine adepts or wannabes). We had to take a picture from a distance, in order to avoid detention, torture and being shipped to an unknown location. You can still see a lot of surveillance cameras on the roof. There is no flag though. Probably because they don't want to disclose their location to "evil terrorists." Too late, everyone already knows where they live.

Well, sometimes rules (or international laws) are no more than guidelines. Something that Israelis know too well.

There is nothing more thrilling than meeting another friendly soul who recognizes you for what you really are. Her father, on the other hand thought I was a feline.

My companion was holding onto me because the wind was so strong and there was a chance I might fly away. I actually liked the idea of that, but after a considerable amount of convincing I accepted the fate that it was not my day of transmutation.

Our next stop was a local Irish pub. A lovely place that provides you with an even deeper illusion of normality. The barman was friendly, and I even got a pint on the house! Obviously because he thought I was a green eyed blond.

Enjoying a fine pint.

Here I am, on Ben Yehuda st., successfully blending into the Tel-Aviv surroundings.
Eliezer Ben-Yehuda was a fellow who "learned of Zionism and realized that the revival of Hebrew language in the Land of Israel could protect and unite the Jewish diaspora against external assimilation. On one occasion, it is said he beat his wife, after he caught her singing a Russian lullaby to the child. His son was the first native speaker of modern Hebrew."
The devil is in the details and you are what you speak.

It seems that the cult of the body is a modern opium for the masses. And
the cult of information and fear provides all with daily shock therapy wrapped in propaganda.

This person is called a Security Guard - a lawful gatekeeper - that forces you to abandon your personal security and privacy before entering any large public place. I was prevented from entering the building on the pretense that animals, especially rabbits, are not allowed in the mall.

Typical gray Tel-Aviv buildings. Apparently forced occupation and colorful creativity don't get along so well.

My appearance drew attention. Or perhaps it was the accent?

I admit that I had foreseen the possibility of pictures being taken. I wonder if each of them sees a different image. This was never tested before.

I had enormous success among the underground scene folks. Probably because of my own ties to the underground, or perhaps because of my punk appearance.

Do you see how they love me? But not for long...

I made a fatal mistake and succumbed to my Poker weakness. I agreed to play one game. Who knew that centuries of extensive research into Game Theory would prove to be completely worthless.

Unfortunately I lost and had to face the consequences.

I was banished by a guy with a weird haircut.

I wanted a shish kebab with some humus, but unfortunately was seen by the owner and couldn't enter the place due to my constant need for another nicotine neural boost.

This is it for now, my dear Seekers of Truth. The future may seem grim, but don't forget that Universe knows its thing, and that "Kaboom and Splat" is only one of the possible scenarios.