Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Bizarro Earth

Flying Vet Maurice Kirk lands in trouble at George Bush's ranch

James Bone
The Times
Thu, 01 May 2008 15:58 UTC
An eccentric Welsh aviator known as the Flying Vet has been placed in a psychiatric ward in Texas after landing near George Bush's ranch to try to thank the US President for his rescue from sharks in the Caribbean.

Maurice Kirk, 63, from Llantwit Major in the Vale of Glamorgan, was handcuffed at gunpoint by police on Saturday before he could pin a thank-you note to the President's front gate, his wife said.

Kirstie Kirk, 48, said her husband wanted to express his gratitude to Mr Bush after the US Coast Guard fished him out of the sea in February when his Piper Cub light aircraft went down on the Caribbean leg of his round-the-world trip.

Image
©Unknown
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Pumpkin

Jesus Sighting Alert: Found In A Womb


MyFox
Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:31 UTC
Is it a blessing from above?

A Lorain, Ohio, woman got an ultrasound in preparation for her first baby, but instead of seeing the image of an infant, Monet Sledge saw something else.

"I was shocked like really," said Sledge.

She showed the picture to her sister Tequoia Smith, a married mother of four who has seen her share of ultrasounds.

"I was expecting to see little body parts," said Smith. "Like a face, arms and legs." But instead she too saw the image of Jesus on the cross. "As soon as I saw it I was like oh my gosh."

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©MYFox Cleveland
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Phoenix

Flashback It's going to take an asteroid falling out of the sky and landing on Barack Obama


MSNBC - 'Verdict with Dan Abrams'
Wed, 23 Apr 2008 13:52 UTC
Extract from the transcript of 'Verdict with Dan Abrams' for Wednesday, April 23:
[...]

Abrams: So, true or false, Norah O'Donnell, the tide is turning for Clinton?

Norah O'Donnell, MSNBC Chief Washington Correspondent: I think it is true that she's gained some momentum in her campaign announcing today, that they believe that they're going to raise some $10 million online in 24 hours. That would shatter all records, even Obama style records. She does have some momentum. She can keep going in this campaign and she did have a decisive win in Pennsylvania among women, white working class, older Americans.

And so, she can take that to some superdelegates and say, "I'm sticking in this race, I am a fighter."

Abrams: Roy Sekoff, true or false.

Roy Sekoff, The Huffington Post: Dan, that would have to be false. You know, it's going to take a lot more than a turning tide. It's going to take an asteroid falling out of the sky and landing on Barack Obama. I mean, that's where were at right now and it think that's what Hillary Clinton is staying in the game for. She's hoping to use the word of the day that he obliterates himself with some mistake.

But he's already weathered quite a few storms with Wright, and you know, Ayers, and the lapel pin and "bitter." So, I think, she's hanging in there waiting for him to step on a land mine but I just don't thing it's going to happen.

Comment: Be careful what you wish for, Roy Sekoff.

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Question

Ancient meteorite goes unsold in New York as dung sells

Timothy Gardner
NewsDaily.com
Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:27 UTC
Some dinosaur dung was snapped up at auction in New York even as a 4.5 billion year old meteorite which was supposed to top the sale went unsold.

The two chunks of 130-million-year-old coprolite, otherwise known as fossilized dinosaur dung, fetched $960 at Bonhams in New York on Wednesday, the auction house said.

The Jurassic-era rocks were sold for more than double their maximum estimate, said spokeswoman Staci Smith.

Fukang meteorite
©REUTERS/Mike Segar
Marvin Kilgore, owner of the Fukang meteorite poses for photographs with the meteorite at Bonham's Auction house in New York, April 30, 2008.
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Pills

Swiss discoverer of LSD dies, aged 102

Sam Cage
NewsDaily.com
Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:44 UTC
ZURICH - Albert Hofmann, the Swiss chemist who discovered the hallucinogenic drug LSD, has died aged 102, the organization that republished his book on the mind-altering substance said.

Albert Hofmann
©REUTERS/Siggi Bucher
Albert Hofmann, the Swiss chemist who discovered the mind-bending drug LSD, talks to the audience during the opening of the symposium "LSD: Problem Child and Wonder Drug" at the Congress Centre in Basel, Switzerland in this January 13, 2006 file photo. Hofmann has died aged 102, the organization that republished his book on the mind-altering substance said.

Hofmann, who advocated the medicinal properties of the drug he termed his "problem child," died from a heart attack at his home in Basel, Switzerland on Tuesday, the California-based Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS) said on its website.

Born January 11, 1906, Hofmann discovered LSD -- lysergic acid diethylamide, which later became the favored drug of the 1960s counter-culture -- when a tiny quantity leaked on to his hand during a laboratory experiment in 1943.
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Vader

David Blaine sets breathtaking record


BBC News
Wed, 30 Apr 2008 13:35 UTC


David Blaine
Blaine failed in an earlier breath-holding record attempt in New York

Magician David Blaine has set a world record by holding his breath for 17 minutes and four seconds on Oprah Winfrey's US TV show in Chicago.

The star was pulled from a water-filled sphere, and then said he had begun to doubt if he would achieve his goal as he considered his heart rate too high.

The previous record, which was 32 seconds shorter, was set in February.
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Robot

Iran official slams smuggling of Barbie, Harry Potter toys


The Economic Times
Mon, 28 Apr 2008 04:27 UTC
Tehran: Iran's Prosecutor General Ghorban Ali Dori Najafabadi has issued a dire warning about the culturally "destructive" consequences of importing Barbies, Harry Potter toys and more from the West.

Fulla
©Unknown
Forget all about Barbie, and welcome Fulla!

Comment: According to our special corespondents from around the world, it is not Sara nor Dara, but Fulla who kicked Barbie's ass in Arabic countries:
[...]unlike that decadent western slut Barbie, Fulla is a good Muslim girl. She even comes with her own prayer mat to prove it! And it is PINK!


Fulla
©Unknown
Below the austere black abaya and headscarf, Fulla wears Pink!



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Bizarro Earth

Blind driver busted again in Estonia


RIA Novosti
Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:27 UTC
Traffic police in the southern Estonian city of Tartu have again caught a notorious blind and drunk driver, the local police press service said on Tuesday.

Kristjan Gradolf, 20, became a real headache for the city's traffic cops last year after he was caught behind the wheel three times and even hefty fines and five days behind bars did not put him off driving. This time he will face criminal charges as a repeat offender.
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Bizarro Earth

Chili eating Indian sisters become famous


RIA Novosti
Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:19 UTC
Two sisters from a small village in eastern India have gained fame for their ability to eat over a pound of chilies at a time, the Indo-Asian News Service (IANS) said on Tuesday.

Eighteen month old Tuni and her three-year-old sister Punita began eating chilies "like berries" while helping out on the family farm. At first, they ate from 20 to 50 chilies a day, but later the number increased.
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Question

UK: Brazen broccoli bandit strikes four times in a week... to steal a single head from the prized vegetable

Luke Salkeld
The Daily Mail
Sun, 27 Apr 2008 14:16 UTC
It is said a criminal should never return to the scene of the crime - but no one seems to have told the brazen broccoli burglar of King's Somborne.

Four times in the last two weeks he has struck at Frank Fahy's vegetable patch.

On each occasion he has cut through protective netting and pinched a single head of broccoli.

The serial thieving is driving Mr Fahy, a 71-year-old retired professor, to distraction - not least because his efforts to deter the culprit have been fruitless.
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