Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


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What Is Greatest British Invention?

The research for Kronenbourg 1664 and lager can widget Dynamo Systemè found that 33% of people judged the flushing toilet to be the greatest ever British invention.

The first such toilet, called 'The Ajax', was invented in1596 by Sir John Harington for Elizabeth I.

The survey of 1,414 people put the television in second place in the British invention list, with 31% of votes, followed by the telephone at 20%.

Coffee

Dog meat off the menu for Beijing Olympics

Gourmets with a special predilection for dog meat will be disappointed if they come to the Chinese capital in the coming two months, according to a Beijing Tourism Bureau official on Friday.

Xiong Yumei, the bureau's vice director, said if a customer ordered dog meat restaurant staff should "patiently" suggest another entree.

"Conflicts should be avoided," she stressed.

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It pays to use an Indian public toilet

Last month, authorities in a southern Indian state fined people caught urinating in public view for a few days.

This week, officials in a remote town started offering people money for using public urinals.

Quite amused reading these news items, I wonder whether we are witnessing the winds of change finally in India or are we just watching another piece of local image-building exercise before elections?

In India, a drive to ensure cleanliness in streets for a week or so is a common exercise, but people often forget such drives in a hurry and the street corners are suddenly smelling again and people using handkerchiefs and sometimes masks to cover their nose.

Bulb

'Annoying' protest T-shirts banned? No problem: use German



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©Unknown
No to Pope protesters rally against expanded police powers for World Youth Day in front of NSW Parliament on July 9.

The T-shirt protest which has marred World Youth Day preparations has gone bilingual.

One South Australian man of German heritage has decided to write T-shirt slogans, banners and posters in his native tongue to attract the attention of the German-speaking media.

Magic Wand

Dutch cat suckles abandoned panda

A Dutch tabby cat has adopted a red panda cub, which was abandoned by its mother at a zoo in the Netherlands.

The adult panda, Gladys, rejected two cubs after they were born on 30 June. The Artis zoo in Amsterdam initially kept them both on an incubator.

But the zookeeper's cat had just given birth to four kittens, and allowed the pandas to join the litter. One of the cubs died last week.

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©AP
The panda cub was rejected by its mother

Coffee

Japanese mother overcomes thief with tea and sympathy

A Japanese woman and her six-month-old daughter escaped unharmed from an armed robber after the mother calmed him with a cup of tea and a chat.

A middle-aged man allegedly pulled a knife and demanded money from the 30-year-old woman as she was walking along a corridor in her Tokyo apartment building with her baby, a Tokyo police official said.

When the housewife told him she had no money, the man followed her home and barged into her flat.

But rather than screaming, the woman calmly made the would-be robber a cup of tea and sat down with him for a chat, whereupon he put his knife away and began a 20-minute monologue about his troubled life, detailing his financial woes.

Penis Pump

US: Nevada brothel offers customers gas rebate

A Nevada brothel is trying to stimulate business by offering free gasoline.

Clients of the Shady Lady Ranch will get a $50 gas voucher if they fork out $300 -- worth about one hour's worth of services -- at the brothel in Beatty, Nevada, 130 miles (209 km) northwest of Las Vegas.

Owner James Davis said he already has had to order another $1,000 set of gas vouchers because the first $1,000 were spent in one week.

Bizarro Earth

Germany: Woman calls police on chatty pal

A desperate housewife called police in Germany after a friend chatted to her for 30 hours - non-stop.

Ingrid Schuettler, 48, told police she'd invited her friend round for a cup of tea and a chat.

But once they started talking, her pal "would not shut up" and kept it up all through the night and the next day.

Smiley

'Borat' dupes Israeli intelligence

A former Mossad official said he was the target of the latest undercover operation by British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen.

Israeli analyst Yossi Alpher was invited to be interviewed for what was supposed to be a documentary on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Sheeple

Let them wear Prada! Bruni a modern-day Marie Antoinette?

French first lady Carla Bruni may be popular with the people of France but one of that country's most influential political journals has given her a sobriquet - "modern-day Marie Antoinette". (Watch)

Marie Antoinette was the ill-fated wife of King Louis XVI who was beheaded during the French Revolution which started in 1789.

Under the headline "Enough is enough", 'Marianne' has lambasted the former Italian supermodel-turned-chanteuse for her continual preening and showing off. This is followed by everything from nude pictures of Bruni - released by Christie's auction house on the eve of her state visit to UK - to intimate interviews in which she discusses everything from her love life to her Left-wing political instincts.

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©AP
Carla Bruni.