Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Crusader

Father, Son, Holy Spirit, and Big Brother

God may be watching over the Vatican's workers, but that's apparently not enough for the Pope, so he's enlisted some help to keep an eye on them.

For the first time in nearly fifty years, the Vatican will require administration staff to clock in and out of work, according to Bloomberg. At the start of the new year, all employees will be given magnetic badges to record when they come and go.

"We can't afford any waste,'' Bishop Renato Boccardo, secretary of the Governatorate of Vatican City State, told La Stampa newspaper. "There is a lot of work that needs doing, and the financial situation doesn't allow us to hire more staff.''

Smiley

Robber leaves money behind

Police say they are looking for a man who held up a Swifty gas station in Aurora, Ind., only to forget to take the money with him.

The Cincinnati Enquirer reported Saturday that police said the robber was "no brain surgeon."

Compass

UK: Thief sent 'sorry' letter to shop

The owner of an Indian food store in Bristol has received an apology letter and £100 from a former drug addict who stole cigarettes from the shop in 2001.

Imran Ahmed, 27, who runs Raja Foods in St Marks Road, Easton, said he was stunned to open the remorseful letter. It begins: "Dear Sirs, I am writing this letter to make amends to you for something I have done in the past."

Mr Ahmed said the thief's change of heart was "really good" and he intends to give the money to a drugs' charity. The thief's letter continues: "About seven years ago I was walking past your shop late one night when I noticed that someone had broken into it.

Smiley

Scientists Turn Tequila into Diamonds

Whoever thought that science was a dry subject might change their mind after learning about a new discovery in which tequila is turned into diamonds. A team of Mexican scientists found that the heated vapor from 80-proof (40% alcohol) tequila blanco, when deposited on a silicon or stainless steel substrate, can form diamond films.

Play

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are


Ambulance

Arizona: Jogger runs mile with rabid fox locked on her arm

PRESCOTT - Authorities in Arizona say a jogger attacked by a rabid fox ran a mile with the animal's jaws clamped on her arm and then drove herself to a hospital. The Yavapai County sheriff's office said the woman told deputies she was on a trail near Prescott on Monday when the fox attacked and bit her foot.

Palette

New Bible has a 'green' theme

A new edition of the Bible sets out to show that seeds of environmentalism were sown in the Garden of Eden.

Just as "red letter" Bibles highlight the words of Jesus in red ink, "The Green Bible," in stores this week, uses green ink to spotlight more than 1,000 passages extolling the goodness of creation and God's charge to care for it.

The first chapter of Genesis is grass green; so are chunks of Psalms and Gospel passages in which Jesus considers the lilies of the field and keeps his eye on the sparrow.

Mr. Potato

Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job

African-American man Barack Obama, 47, was given the least-desirable job in the entire country Tuesday when he was elected president of the United States of America.

Wolf

Dog found 1,000 miles from home is back in Florida

Orlando - A Maltese dog named Max is back home in Florida after he was found in Chicago -- 1,000 miles from where he disappeared.

Max is to be reunited with his owner Richard Gonzalez on Sunday.

On Saturday, Joanne Couture, who runs Li'l Lap Dog Rescue, picked up Max from Delta's cargo office at Orlando International Airport. She took him home for the night.

Coffee

Vote and get free coffee, donuts and a felony???

Krispy Kreme
© Krispy Kreme/AP
If having your say in who will be the 44th President of the United States isn't incentive enough to get out and vote, then how about free Starbucks coffee, Krispy Kreme doughnuts, or Ben and Jerry's ice cream?

These companies and many more across the nation are offering freebies just for being patriotic.