crying hillary supporters

Hollywood A-listers and celebrities across America vowed to leave the country if Donald Trump was elected. We at The Duran have decided to compile a list of suitable countries to help these gloomy stars find a new home.

It's official: Donald J. Trump WILL be the next President of the United States of America.

The world has been saved from utter destruction and the most corrupt politician to ever run for president has been routed in historic fashion. However, many celebrities, athletes, and famous people (clearly much smarter than the rest of us) have promised to leave the U.S. if 'The Donald' was elected POTUS - well, pack your bags!

For reference, here's a list of some of those celebrities:
  • Comedian Jon Stewart
  • Comedian Chelsea Handler
  • Actress Neve Campbell
  • IAC Interactive Founder Barry Diller
  • Feminist Lena Dunham
  • Comedian Keegan-Michael Key
  • Actress Chloë Sevigny
  • Race Hustler Al Sharpton
  • Actress Natasha Lyonne
  • Comedian Eddie Griffin
  • Filmmaker Spike Lee
  • Model Amber Rose
  • Actor Samuel L. Jackson
  • Singer Cher
  • Comedian George Lopez
  • Singer Barbra Streisand
  • Actress Raven-Symoné
  • TV Host Whoopi Goldberg
  • Actor Omari Hardwick
  • Pop Star Miley Cyrus
  • Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg
  • Comedian Amy Schumer
The idea came when I saw an article showing a list of liberal, Hillary-friendly countries her supporters could move to. Then I thought, better to list the countries the 'I'm with Her' supporters SHOULD move to, to get some perspective - where Hillary has conducted plenty of shady business.

To help those bitter and oppressed celebrities with their decision and prepare them for their journey, here are 5 democratic, liberal, LGBT-supporting, feminist-loving, emasculated countries where Hillary Clinton enjoyed doing corrupt business with during her time in public office...

5. BRUNEI
brunei
This beautiful, coastal nation ruled by a Sultan, follows Sharia law, and punishes homosexuality by stoning offenders to death. Hillary's foundation accepted a cool $5 million from this Pacific getaway. Oh, and upon adopting Sharia law, the monarchy ruling Brunei banned Christmas decorations in public places.

4. QATAR
qatar
Sharia law is the main source of Qatari legislation. Flogging is used in Qatar as a punishment for alcohol consumption or illicit/homosexual relations. In 2014, a Dutch tourist who traveled to Qatar, was jailed for 3 months and fined $845 after reporting she was raped. Hillary accepted a $1 million bribe from the Qatari monarchy while she was Secretary of State.

3. MOROCCO
morocco
The Kingdom of Morocco, the North African country bordering the Atlantic Ocean and Mediterranean Sea, lacks freedom of expression. Questioning the legitimacy of the monarchy or the actions of the King is taboo and questioning the kingdom's "territorial integrity" (i.e. the virtual annexation of the Western Sahara) is illegal. Moroccan authorities restricted the rights to peaceful expression, association and assembly through several laws. Both male and female same-sex sexual activity is illegal in Morocco. Hillary Clinton accepted up to $12 million in donations from this open-minded monarchy.

2. KUWAIT
Kuwait
Kuwaiti authorities have arrested a dozen people criticizing the emir and government on social media. Due to government corruption, migrant workers are subject to physical and sexual abuse, non-payment of wages, threats, confinement to the home, and withholding of passports to restrict their freedom of movement. In 2008, cross-dressing in public became illegal. In 2016 three men were arrested for cross-dressing and had their heads shaved before being referred to the authorities for further investigation. No known association or charity exists in Kuwait to campaign for LGBT rights or organize educational and social events for the LGBT community. Kuwait donated a whopping $10 million to the Hillary Clinton machine.

1. SAUDI ARABIA
beatings saudi arabia
Undeniably the most brutal and backwards regime, Saudi Arabia is widely accused of having one of the worst human rights records in the world. Saudi Arabia remains one of the very few countries in the world not to accept the UN's Universal Declaration of Human Rights. The strongest criticisms include the extremely disadvantaged position of women, capital punishment for homosexuality, religious discrimination, the lack of religious freedom and the activities of the religious police. Despite this, and with the help of Hollywood's darling Hillary Clinton, the U.S. has sold $110 billion in arms to Saudi Arabia. In return, Hillary received $25 million from the Saudis.

If you think that was absolutely appalling, just wait, there's more! Wikileaks released emails showing Hillary and co. knew Saudi Arabia was FUNDING ISIS while gladly accepting their blood-soaked money. Did those 'famous actors' or any Hillary supporters care to read into that?

Reality just smacked them hard in the face - I wonder which country they'll choose to start their new lives?

For the rest of us who voted for peace and prosperity - we will keep on fighting and winning the good fight against the nasty, corrupt neoliberalism which has consumed our society.

I have one last message dedicated to them...