Naked attraction
© Channel 4 Images
In Naked Attraction, people pick their favourite genitalia from a lineup.

In the terrible new dawn of dating shows, desirability is judged by genitalia alone. Is this it: the death of all civilisation?

That's it. There's nowhere left for the dating show to go. Between TLC's Undressed and Channel 4's Naked Attraction, the entire genre feels like it's reached its natural endpoint.

We've had shows like Blind Date, where desirability is judged by personality. We've had shows like Take Me Out, where desirability is judged by physical appearance. And now we find ourselves at a terrible new dawn, where desirability is judged by genitalia.

Undressed puts two strangers in a room and makes them undress each other before they sit on a bed and get subjected to a hideous Clockwork Orange-style barrage of orders from a giant faceless screen. Meanwhile, Naked Attraction - which starts tonight - promises to present its subjects with a cavalcade of naked strangers and ask them to pick the sexiest.

Aside from a thin veneer of slightly unconvincing psychological grounding to validate the nudity, that's it. Naked Attraction is barely even a dating show. It's Am I Hot Or Not. It's a knobbly knees competition. It's a place where your parents can validate all the unspoken disappointment they ever felt about you. It's going to make Sex Box look like The Ascent of Man.

It feels like we've painted ourselves into a corner here, doesn't it? How can anyone keep making dating shows any more, now that there's a programme about people picking willies from a lineup? Unless ITVBe surprises everyone by commissioning a series where two crying strangers are forced to have sex at gunpoint in a dungeon, that's it. The bottom of the barrel has been located. Dating shows: completed. Well done everybody.

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