Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Smiley

Man throws Christmas tree at his father

Police in Parrish, Florida arrested a 37-year-old man for allegedly throwing a christmas tree at his father.

Authorities say Thomas Edward Lackie has been charged with felony assault for using a 3-foot-tall Christmas tree as a weapon, the Sarasota (Fla.) Herald-Tribune reports.

The arrest record alleges that Lackie tried to strike his father with the steel tree base after he missed hitting him with the tree.

Mr. Potato

Sara the Saxophone-Playing Walrus

Sara Walrus playing Saxaphone
© ReutersSara, perhaps the most talented walrus ever to grace a Turkish zoo, performs a saxophone recital at the Dophinarium in Istanbul on Dec. 4, 2008.

Toys

Santa gets the heave-ho-ho-ho

Oberlin - Conceptual artist Keith McGuckin kills off Santa Claus in his latest holiday display at the Oberlin Public Library. McGuckin, of Wellington, is known for his controversial holiday displays, which have included a drug-smuggling elf, a crystal meth Christmas and Nazi gingerbread men.

Light Saber

US: Man uses candy cane to subdue attacker with knife

Sacramento, Calif. - A man using a candy cane lawn ornament fended off a knife-wielding neighbor who had been attacking holiday guests at a Sacramento home. Police spokesman Sgt. Norm Leong said the man used the two-foot-tall plastic ornament to subdue the attacker until officers arrived.

He said the 49-year-old suspect became intoxicated, went over to a neighbor's home on Thanksgiving and began waving a kitchen knife at people gathered on the lawn.

Smiley

Cognitive dissonance

fail owned pwned pictures

Heart

UK: Stop calling patients 'dearie', nurses told

Calling older patients "dearie" or "love" is set to be ruled out as offensive by new guidelines from the Nursing and Midwifery Council. Nurses should speak "courteously and respectfully" and use patients' preferred names, the NMC recommends.

But terms of endearment can be used in some areas if they are part of everyday speech - it may appear unusual if they are omitted, the draft guidance says. The Conservatives said the guidance was "ridiculous".

Wine

Satire: Study Finds Link Between Red Wine, Letting Mother Know What You Really Think

CHICAGO - Health experts have long known that drinking red wine can have such positive benefits as reducing blood vessel damage, lowering the risk of heart attack, and preventing harmful LDL cholesterol from forming. But researchers at the Northwestern University Department of Preventive Medicine have recently found that the consumption of four to six glasses of red wine, most notably at dinner or a family function, may be linked to totally going off on one's mom.

Smiley

Kentucky anti-terror law requires God be acknowledged

The 2006 law organizing the state Office of Homeland Security lists its initial duty as "stressing the dependence on Almighty God as being vital to the security of the Commonwealth."

Specifically, Homeland Security is ordered to publicize God's benevolent protection in its reports, and it must post a plaque at the entrance to the state Emergency Operations Center with an 88-word statement that begins, "The safety and security of the Commonwealth cannot be achieved apart from reliance upon Almighty God."

State Rep. Tom Riner, a Southern Baptist minister, tucked the God provision into Homeland Security legislation as a floor amendment that lawmakers overwhelmingly approved two years ago.

As amended, Homeland Security's religious duties now come before all else, including its distribution of millions of dollars in federal grants and its analysis of possible threats.

Cell Phone

Unbelievable! Vatican warns of the corrupting influence of mobile phones and the internet on our souls

Federico Lombardi
© EPA'Grave threat': The Pope's spokesman Father Federico Lombardi has warned people risk losing their souls if they overuse the internet and their mobiles
Mobiles are bad for your soul, the Vatican warned yesterday.

Phones and computers are making the world so noisy and hectic that people cannot cultivate their spiritual dimension.

And without a spiritual life 'you will lose your soul', said Father Federico Lombardi, the Pope's spokesman.

The Jesuit priest, who is the director of the Vatican press office, made his remarks on the weekly Vatican TV programme Octavia Dies.

Health

Pictured: The American toddler who got a set of car keys lodged in his brain ... and recovered unscathed

This brave little toddler has made an astonishing recovery after the horror of having a car key lodged in his brain.