Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Sheeple

Tony Abbott trades 'shirtfronting' Putin for joint cuddly koala pic

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© AFP Photo / Andrew TayloAustralia's Prime Minister Tony Abbott (L) and Russia's President Vladimir Putin as they meet Koalas before the start of the first G20 meeting in Brisbane.
Twitter users have had a field day with Australian PM Tony Abbott's claim that he would "shirtfront" Vladimir Putin at the G20 summit over the MH17 crash - because the leaders' face-to-face encounter actually resulted in a...koala cuddle.

Yes, that's right. Social media is abuzz with photos of Abbott and Putin snuggling up to the world's cutest marsupial, even though previous statements had almost guaranteed that a scuffle was in the works.

When the soft, furry critter sunk its claws into Putin's suit, the Australian PM seemed to feel quite soft and fuzzy inside himself; a smack down shoulder charge appeared to be the last thing on his mind.

Abbott's remark came back in October, after he told journalists that he would "shirtfront" the Russian president on the sidelines of the G20 summit over the MH17 tragedy.

"I am going to shirtfront Mr. Putin - you bet I am - I am going to be saying to Mr. Putin [that] Australians were murdered, they were murdered by Russian-backed rebels," Abbott said.

Comment: Abbott is all bark and no bite.


USA

Unclear and present danger: Jon Stewart on ISIS and US troops in Iraq

A tweet from Jordanian intelligence raises questions about ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, and President Obama increases the number of troops in Iraq for murky reasons. (7:53)


Wolf

A dog gets it right and howls at Louis Armstrong song, "What a Wonderful World"


A dog howls along with a toy that sings Louis Armstrong songs. The dog, which appears to be a husky, attempts to sing along to Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World" while being filmed. The song is played by a dancing toy that plays music and resembles a dog.

Light Saber

Little girl yells at street preacher 'piehole should be quiet!'

little girl yelling_street preacher
© Goss-Kennedy/YouTube
An unidentified young girl yelled at a street preacher who was using a megaphone in Salem, Mass., on Oct. 29.

A video (below) of the confrontation was filmed by Robert Goss-Kennedy who wrote on LiveLeak.com:
Every year Salem is inundated with street preachers during our Halloween celebrations. They spend most every weekend during October telling us to "Turn or Burn." I've been recording their interactions with people for a couple of years now for a long running art project, and while this young guy was preaching, a little girl just ran up and started laying into him.
According to the Friendly Atheist, the little girl told the preacher, "Stop talking, no one's listening." She later followed with, "No one wants to hear you" and "Piehole should be quiet!"
RawStory.com notes the girl also shouted, "Zip your lips!" and "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!"

Smiley

SOTT Exclusive: Mystery of underwater vessel in Swedish waters solved: 'Twas Putin!

Sub-in-Swedish-waters mystery solved: it was just Putin doing his daily cold-water therapy. Perhaps Obama and his Western cohorts should try it too, although the chances of making real men out of them is very little... too little substance to work with.
Putin in Swedish waters
© Unknown

Cut

Get to the roots of t'hairorism: Turkish hair-removal cream features 9/11 mastermind

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© EpilaThe controversial advert

Self-confessed 9/11 architect, the hirsute Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, has appeared as an pitchman for an online campaign for a range of hair removal treatments - but the Turkish company behind the ads says the terrorist's image was used by accident.


Comment: Really? Accidental use of an image is hard to believe.


Next to the slogan "That hair will not shed itself!" is an iconic picture of the disheveled Al-Qaeda terrorist, taken after he was captured by US forces in 2003, and a series of white plastic bottles.

But the company in question, Epila, says that this was not a viral marketing stunt.

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"We didn't know that he was a terrorist. This image is in popular use in Turkish memes on the Internet. The guy is quite hairy, so we thought his body was a good fit for our ad," Mehmet Can Yıldız, a company representative, told Turkey's Hurriyet newspaper.

"We didn't want to imply anything political. We didn't know that it could become an international story. I repeat: We featured him for his hair, not terrorism."

The Kuwait-born, US-educated Mohammed is currently in Guantanamo prison, awaiting the long-delayed trial for organizing the 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center attacks that killed nearly 3,000 people. He is also implicated in over 30 other terrorist attacks and the beheading of US journalist Daniel Pearl in Pakistan in 2002.

"I am the mastermind of 9/11, not Osama bin Laden," Mohammed once boasted during a pre-trial hearing.

Comment: We can't help but wonder if there is a hidden message here.


Binoculars

Bizarre dancing manhole cover in China

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© The Telegraph
A bizarre video has emerged from China of a dancing manhole cover on a pavement in Chongqing.

The footage shows the heavy cover rattling around on top of the manhole as though it is being pushed from underneath by an invisible force.

Local residents have been trying to solve the mystery behind the strange occurrence since it began a couple of months ago.

According to local media, the puzzle has now been solved, after it was revealed that a local restaurant had connected their chimney for waste gas emissions to the underground sewer pipe.

Smiley

Sarah Palin wrote a bunch of stupid words about some moronic thing for some dumb reason again

sarah palin
© facebookSarah Palin
Sarah Palin - the recurrent infection given to America by John McCain during his presidential campaign that crashed and burned like it was just another plane given to him by the Navy - is flaring up again.

Haven't we suffered enough already for whatever it was that we did, particularly if we didn't mean to do it, whatever it was?

Apparently not.

Okay. Now what, Sarah?

When we last heard from the matriarch of the Rock-em Sock'em Drunk'en Palin Partycrashers, she was very upset at America for laughing at her daughters who are apparently easily tipped over after a Zima or nine. Having thoroughly harangued the American media for lamestream "reporting" so-called "police reports" and "transcripts" of her daughter drunk-babbling "word-like sounds" at police officers, Palin has turned her disapproving eye on that colored Obamerbola guy for talking shit about someone's mom.

According to Sarah - who is the mother of either four or five children depending upon whether you're Andrew Sullivan or not - Oebolabunglermomhater, "Declares Stay-at-Home Moms Aren't Worth a Hill of Beans; Says It's a Choice 'We Don't Want Americans to Make"

Comment: Comedians like George Carlin and John Stewart need to analyze the words and deeds of politician and the media to expose the truth in a entertaining way. Clowns like Sarah Palin just need to open their mouths to expose their stupidity. Can we say how fortunate we are she was not elected as vice president, though nothing new came out of Bushama other than continued warmongering?


Smiley

Man robs 4 Subways in 4 days because "Jared Diet" didn't work

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© Hueytown PoliceZachary Torrance
The man was recognized by someone who saw a video of the robberies on Facebook.

A man who robbed four Subway restaurants in four days with a gun claims he did it because he was mad the "Jared Diet" didn't work for him.

Zachary Torrance, 18, was arrested Friday by Hueytown police after someone saw surveillance videos on the Hueytown Police Department's Facebook page and recognized Torrance from having witnessed him purchase a gun holster at a Walmart. Police say he was even wearing the same clothing and shoes as the suspect was the day of the robbery.

"He stated in the course of his interview he had tried the 'Jared Diet' and it hadn't worked for him like he thought it should have," Police Chief Chuck Hagler told WJBF. "He was trying to get his money back."

Smiley

Florida man tried to steal chainsaw by sneaking it underneath shirt

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© St. Lucie County JailAnthony Brian Ballard
Police charged homeless man and chainsaw-thief Anthony Brian Ballard with grand theft.

Police say a homeless man was arrested Thursday for trying to steal a chainsaw by stuffing it under his shirt.

WPTV reports that Anthony Brian Ballard was charged with grand theft by police in Port St. Lucie, Fla., after authorities accused him of stealing the tool.

Ballard is said to have entered a lawn maintenance store and asked to break a dollar into change. He then placed a chainsaw under his shirt and left the store without paying.

After fleeing on a bicycle, Ballard was eventually found by an employee from the business, who tracked the 28-year-old man down and held him until police arrived. The chainsaw was recovered in a vacant lot nearby.