pokemon end
Death by Pokémon is coming
...

These were the ominous words written by Professor Gerry Beyer of the Texas Tech University School of Law shortly after Pokémon Go swept America, infecting citizens with a mysterious, zombie-like condition that causes players to stray into major highways, drive into trees, and walk off cliffs. For the Americans who have not yet had their $600 smart phones surgically attached to their faces, this rapid invasion of beady-eyed, and suspiciously cute anime characters, has come as a shock; while loved-ones-turned-zombie gather to presumably collect digital pixels on a screen, the mainstream media is almost silent on the infamous "28-pages" showing the government knew the 9/11 hijackers were supported by the Saudi Arabian government, and that the CIA knew of al-Qaeda's existence in the US before the 9/11 plot.

Ah, the CIA... that loveable group of scamps who brought us such coups and false-flag attempts as the botched "Bay of Pigs" fiasco, the 1953 Iranian Coup which overthrew a democratically elected president in order to reinstate an oil-friendly dictator, and who assisted in Project Northwoods, a planned operation to kill innocent civilians in the US by conducting fake terror attacks using hijacked planes. While the CIA has yet again been caught with its pants down, the mainstream media—and an embarrassingly large population of adult US citizens—would apparently rather chase cartoon characters adored by 9-year-olds and emo-teens around the world, even if that means possibly getting stabbed in the process (seriously, do a search on "Pokémon Go stabbing" and you'll be amazed at all the various reports that pop up).

Pokémon Go has apparently "surpassed Twitter users and is on track to beat out Snapchat and Google Maps," according to Matt Agorist of The Free Thought Project. They provided this graph from Survey Monkey Intelligence in their report:
pokemon go chart
According to Agorist, Pokémon Go is not only distracting players into a drug-like induced haze, but most likely spying on them as well. How can this be so, you ask? Let's look further into the claim.

A report from Tech Crunch brings to attention Pokémon Go's privacy policy which states in section 3e:
e. Information Disclosed for Our Protection and the Protection of Others.We cooperate with government and law enforcement officials or private parties to enforce and comply with the law. We may disclose any information about you (or your authorized child) that is in our possession or control to government or law enforcement officials or private parties as we, in our sole discretion, believe necessary or appropriate: (a) to respond to claims, legal process (including subpoenas); (b) to protect our property, rights, and safety and the property, rights, and safety of a third party or the public in general; and (c) to identify and stop any activity that we consider illegal, unethical, or legally actionable activity.
This little clause can be alarming considering that upon agreeance, you're giving Pokémon Go full access to your location, camera, Google account (if that's what you used to sign in), and screw it; let's throw in your first-born child and soul because who actually reads privacy policies or terms of agreement anyway. Furthermore, the creation of this program leads back to the intelligence community through John Hanke, the man who formed the company responsible for Pokémon Go; Niantic.

Apparently Hanke also helped to found "Keyhole," a company no one seems to know much about, aside from the fact it was bought by Google, and originally funded by the government-controlled firm, In-Q-Tel, which helped to "beef up Big Brother's tool belt," (source). It's claimed that most of the funds In-Q-Tel gave to Keyhole came from the National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency (NGA), who has a special interest in "collecting, analyzing, and distributing geospatial intelligence."

So far, we can be sure the government has learned that to weed out the dumber of the species, they can simply place a virtual pink ball with ears and sappy eyes on a train track, and sit back and watch the show. In the meantime, pay no mind to the actual events that have, and will, shape our lives for years to come.

Pokémon powers activate! Or whatever the hell the kids are saying these days...