Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Question

Who's behind the mysterious public art over Bay Pines Boulevard?

Emily Nipps
Tampa Bay.com
Tue, 27 Jul 2010 13:59 UTC
Cardboard Cutouts
© Bay News 9Someone turned a bridge walkway in Madeira Beach into a billboard of sorts early Monday with these cardboard cutouts.
Madeira Beach - As crimes go, this one was pretty harmless.

Four cardboard cutouts resembling the classic evolution of man but ending with an upright human pointing a handgun. The cardboard cutouts were affixed to a pedestrian bridge over Bay Pines Boulevard at Duhme Road, connecting to Madeira Beach Fundamental School.

It gave some motorists and passers-by pause Monday morning, and at least one person called the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office. A deputy later removed the life-sized cutouts and disposed of them, spokesman Sgt. Tom Nestor said.

"There was nothing written on them, no names attached," he said. "No sayings, no explanation."
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Pistol

Clumsy robber drops gun in lap of victim, who turns it on him

Audrea Huff
Orlando Sentinel
Sat, 10 Jul 2010 15:05 UTC
A robbery victim had a force on her side other than police: The force of gravity.

One of two people trying to rob a 69-year-old woman in her car Friday night accidentally dropped his handgun into her lap. She grabbed the gun and turned it on the man, chasing him off, South Daytona police said.

The suspect also dropped a cell phone, which held pictures that helped the woman identify her robber to police, they said.

About 7 p.m. Friday, Carol J. Costello had just left the Walmart on Beville Road when a black Chevrolet Impala pulled in front and forced her to stop. A passenger armed with a silver semiautomatic handgun wrapped in a towel jumped out and tried to break the driver's-side window with the gun, police said.
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Binoculars

Colorado, US: Bear "Took Car for Joyride"


The Telegraph
Fri, 23 Jul 2010 21:59 UTC
Image
© AP Photo
A bear took a car for a joyride after breaking in to steal a sandwich.

After becoming trapped in the vehicle, the animal honked the horn and seems to have knocked the gear lever, rolling the Toyota Corolla 125 feet (38 meters) into a thicket, a Colorado family said.

The car's owner, Ben Story, 17, said he and his family were asleep in their home south of Denver when the bear managed to open the unlocked door.

A peanut butter sandwich left on the back seat is probably what attracted the bear, Mr Story said.

It's not unusual for bears to open unlocked doors to cars and houses in search of food, said Tyler Baskfield, a spokesman for the Colorado Division of Wildlife.

"It happens all the time," he said. "They're very smart."
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Arrow Up

"Please Give Me a Job" Sign Gets Unemployed Man Back in Work


The Telegraph
Sat, 24 Jul 2010 02:30 UTC
Image
© CatersMark Wheeldon stood for hours in the pouring rain with a 'Please give me a job' sign
An unemployed man landed a job by standing in the pouring rain by a busy road with a cardboard sign pleading: "Please give me a job."

After spending the last two years out of work, 23-year-old Mark Wheeldon was fed up with living on benefits and concocted a plan to get him noticed on the job market.

He decided to stand on one of the busiest roundabouts in Stoke-on-Trent, Staffs, and advertise himself to passing motorists during the morning rush hour.

But he could not believe his luck when, within three hours, a passing businessman pulled over and offered him a job on the spot.

Vince Champion, director of a timber factory, spotted the former mechanic, on his way to work and returned to collect him, giving him an interview straightaway and offering him a position just 20 minutes later.
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Smiley

Obama Changes Middle Name to Convince Jews He is Not Muslim


Garlic News
Wed, 21 Jul 2010 15:33 UTC
After publicly stating that he feared his middle name was causing many jews to be suspicious of him as being a muslim, the president has changed it from Hussein to Schmulik.

"I believe that by taking this ancient and honored Jewish name I can once and for all convince my very few lunatic Jewish detractors who logically feared that I might be a Muslim because of my other hate-speech name which I will no longer use and will hereafter be referred to as the "H" name, that I am truly devoted to Jews and Israel, as I have always been since long before this necessary name change."
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Smiley

Satire: God Hinting At Retirement


The Onion
Tue, 20 Jul 2010 21:35 UTC
God
© The OnionGod's eternal presence will gradually become less apparent as he eases out of day-to-day omnipotency.
The Heavens - At a press conference Tuesday, God Almighty, our Lord and Heavenly Father, gave his strongest indication yet that he might soon step down from his post as the supreme ruler of all things.

Following a routine address during which God confirmed the recent extinction of several thousand species, the Divine Creator fielded questions regarding rumors of his possible retirement.

"I've been at this a long time," said God, ∞, the all-knowing, all-powerful being who has presided over the cosmos since forming it from sheer nothingness nearly 14 billion years ago. "And the truth is, this was never something I planned on doing forever. Lately, in fact, I've begun to wonder if I should move on sooner rather than later."

Over the past few centuries, God has on numerous occasions deflected speculation that his reign might be winding down, but his remarks Tuesday appeared to signal a shift in celestial policy.
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Binoculars

India: Elephant Takes Lizard for a Ride


The Telegraph
Wed, 14 Jul 2010 07:14 UTC
Image
© Jagdeep Rajput/Solent
An Indian elephant has stunned wildlife experts by catching a live lizard and carrying it around for days like a toy.

A photographer spotted Madhuri the elephant's bizarre behaviour during a trip to India's Corbett National Park.

Jagdeep Rajput, 49, has been taking photographs for 20 years but admitted he had never before seen such a spectacle.

He said: "I had heard about this elephant before and looked out for her. She's known to be quite aggressive so when I did eventually find her I approached her carefully. The park has a good population of lizards and Madhuri is known as an expert in catching them - she has a particular fancy for monitor lizards.

"She caught the lizard alive and carried it all the time for few days - tossing it up and even dropping it. Her behaviour was extraordinary and I've never seen or heard about anything so bizarre before."
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Binoculars

New Zealand: Man Shot by Dog

Paul Chapman
The Telegraph
Tue, 13 Jul 2010 02:00 UTC
Image
© The Telegraph
A New Zealand man is recovering from surgery after being shot in the buttock by his dog.

Police believe the animal stood on the trigger of a .22 bolt-action rifle in a freak accident.

The dog's 40-year-old owner was getting into the rear seat of a four-wheel drive vehicle with the rifle next to him when the animal jumped in.

He was among a group of four people who had slaughtered a pig at Te Kopuru, 90 miles northwest of Auckland on New Zealand's North Island.

The group told police they had thought the gun, which in fact contained five shells, was unloaded.
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Smiley

The Scariest Runway Show in Fashion History

Ruchika Tulshyan
Times Newsfeed
Mon, 12 Jul 2010 21:58 UTC
Weird Models
© Times Newsfeed
Fashion designers are notorious for upping the shock-factor with their collections. But this takes the cake.

Citing artistic license to dress Bjork in a swan outfit? That's one thing. But this just plain creepy.

Models with bald heads and faux beards were all the rage on Patrick Mohr's Berlin Fashion Week runway, last week. These UFO lookalike models had bald caps fitted on their heads, and long whiskers sprouting from their faces. Even the female models. The most bizarre thing? The clothes were surprisingly normal. But who was looking at the clothes, while trying to make sense of all the excess hair?

This just had us scratching our (hairy) heads and (hair-free) chins.
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Binoculars

Australian Towns At War Over Legacy of Mary Poppins Author

Bonnie Malkin
The Telegraph
Fri, 09 Jul 2010 16:00 UTC
Image
© DisneyThe six books in the Mary Poppins series went on to be translated into more than 20 languages and made into the famous 1964 Disney film.
Two Australian towns have become engaged in a fierce war of words over which can lay the bigger claim to the legacy of Mary Poppins creator Pamela Travers.

Maryborough, on the south east coast of Queensland, Australia, has been hosting a Mary Poppins festival for several years in honour of Travers, who was born in the town in 1899.

The five-day event draws tourists to the region during the quiet winter months to enjoy Poppins-themed activities such as nanny races, umbrella-decorating and kite-making.

But this year festival organisers have been angered by plans for a New South Wales town to hold a rival event.
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