"The time for mourning is past!" yelled Bezos from his helicopter as the injured and deceased were being pulled from the wreckage. "At Amazon, we pride ourselves in our great customer service! Now get back in there and start building orders! What are you waiting for, you lazy minions? BWAAA HAHAHAHAHA!"
Workers have been reminded that any injuries sustained by digging through the twisted metal of the collapsed building will not be covered by company insurance and that all bathroom breaks will be subtracted from their pay. Any delivery drivers who deliver late due to the catastrophic tornado will be fired immediately.
"If you all had worked a little faster and gotten the orders out before the tornado hit, maybe we wouldn't be in this predicament," said Bezos from a deck chair on his superyacht.
Amazon workers responded by trying to form a union to win the right to not work in the middle of a devastating tornado, but Bezos quickly fired them all.
Reader Comments
Nor how the same people fussed over a Chinese contractor named Foxxconn, which installed nets on their buildings to reduce the number of successful suicides amongst their employees.
Psychopaths are the same everywhere - and they form the government almost everwhere.
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Because the facts are so difficult, I also agree that The Bee needed a lighter...very light touch...on this one.