Don't Panic! Lighten Up!
"If staying home makes you safe," Newsom told the press. "Then staying inside an even smaller home inside that home would make you double-safe. This is just basic science, as any scientist would tell you." This statement got a nod of approval from scientist Scruffy who stood beside Newsom, though it was possible that man was just a hobo who got a lab coat at Goodwill.
With the new order, people were told to bring a bunch of snacks and a bottle to pee in to reduce the need to ever leave the smaller house. People are also ordered to wear masks while alone in their own tiny houses because, "Why not?"
Police will be going house to house and looking through the windows to make sure everyone is in their tiny houses inside their houses, though some sheriff's offices say they won't comply because of something called the "Constitution." Newsom reiterated, though, that there are no exceptions to this double stay-at-home order other than if you're a governor and really want a fancy dinner.
Comment: Newsom is such an affected prat.
Bonus: Brent Pella's recent skit on Loathsome Newsom:
Reader Comments
Now THAT'S funny.
This statement got a nod of approval from scientist Scruffy who stood beside Newsom, though it was possible that man was just a hobo who got a lab coat at Goodwill.Comedian doing video is funny too. Watch the end of it where he does Cuomo!
RC
This is pretty good: [Link] RC
Hail Lord Newsom!