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Cats across the country are today celebrating the hairless monkeys that cater to their every whim.

In parks and gardens from the South coast to Scotland, cats are entertaining each other with stories of their lumbering slaves and the lengths they will go to in order to please them.

Cat Ginger Williams told us, "I have a couple of the big ones that I allow to live with me; They're a bit of a nuisance most of the time, but I'm happy to take this one day out of my busy schedule to recognise their contribution to my ongoing satisfaction.

"They will clean up after me on demand, and will often remain still if I need somewhere warm to rest and the floor is too cold to sit on.

"Like any slaves, they need a bit of managing and are a bit slow on the uptake, but I have them pretty well trained by now. I only have to raise an eyebrow and they bring me food or a toy.

"If they behave well, I will sometimes reward them by letting them stroke me. Sometimes."

When told that in reality he actually 'belongs' to the hairless monkeys, Williams said, "You actually believe that? Hilarious."