Putin
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The $300 ransom demanded in the NHS cyber attack would 'almost double' Russian GDP if paid, experts have warned.

Putin is well known for targeting western institutions with cyberattacks to expand his own power and wealth, and the demand for almost £250 represents 'untold wealth' in Roubles after 15 years of his wise economic guidance.

The Russian Premier made his demands from his gigantic Black Sea Palace, which he laughingly claims is a sanitarium for the Russian people.

Putin is expected to use the windfall to buy himself some blue jeans and perhaps some Western Coca-Cola if his demands are met.

"$300 would be a huge boost to the Russian economy, almost doubling their GDP in one stroke," international cyberwarfare expect Simon Williams told us.

"Putin's has devoted huge resources to cyberwarfare, allocating almost forty acres of beetroot to keeping key staff in the lap of Russian luxury.

"Three hundred bucks would be a massive win for him, justifying the effort."

However, NHS insiders have questioned Russian involvement, suggesting that its more likely malware downloaded when some dumb bastard clicked an 888 casino pop-up advert.