Marsha Mellow, a recently hired custodial worker for the college, has seen a lot of strange things while working at colleges over the past 10 years.
However, nothing compares to what she found in the basement of the new Kresge Science Complex - an alien autopsy lab.
Mellow, curious about strange noises she'd been hearing while cleaning the ground floor of the complex late at night, came across a door she had never opened before and thought it may be where the sounds were coming from.
"I'll be cleaning late at night and hear all of these crazy noises," Mellow said. "I could have sworn they were coming out of the floor.
"All this buzzing and whirring and electrical noises - I thought I was going crazy!"
Mellow tried to open the door with her keycard and discovered it would not work on that particular lock. Determined to uncover the source of the noise, she kept trying every night.
"After about two weeks of checking the door, someone finally slipped up and left it unlocked," Mellow said.
According to Mellow, what she found exceeded anything she could have ever imagined.
At first glance, Mellow believed she had found nothing more than an ordinary science lab. However, she saw some documents on a desk in the lab and only after she leafed through them did she realize where she was.
"They were all stamped up with CLASSIFIED in big red letters," Mellow said. "Of course I had to read them."
The documents, that link Albion to the United State's government's infamous Area 51, included blue prints for the underground lab, security and confidentiality information, and possible health hazards of being exposed to extraterrestrial life, Mellow said. Furthermore, it exposed Albion faculty members involved in the research.
According to Mellow, Dean McCurdy, professor of biology, and Andrew French, professor of chemistry, were the two staff members implicated in the documents. Along with them, a staff of 14 scientists have been working in the lab, though none are associated with the college.
Both McCurdy and French denied the lab's existence and refused to comment.
One biology professor, who asked to remain anonymous, said he has known for a while about the secret lab.
"I overheard [McCurdy and French] talking about it one day," he said. "I acted like I hadn't heard what they were talking about and never mentioned it to anyone.
"I've heard crazy stories about what the government does to keep their secrets from getting out."
Patty O' Green, Paw Paw junior, is baffled by her professors' secret lives.
"I mean, they sometimes took an exceptionally long time to grade our exams and assignments, but I guess I never really thought about why," O'Green said. "I just figured they had a lot of other work to grade.
"I never in my wildest dreams thought it was because they were cutting up aliens."
On the other hand, Terry Cloth, Cheboygan first-year and self-proclaimed UFO enthusiast, is ecstatic about the discovery.
"I knew I picked Albion for a reason," Cloth said. "Maybe since this is public information now, they'll be more open about it. Maybe I could be an assistant in the lab or even do something for FURSCA.
"This is incredible; the only thing that would beat this is if I were actually abducted or something."
Fools